09: Hard To Swallow

Exhaustion won. Fear lost.

My head drooped. My eyes closed. My forehead rested on my knees. I fell asleep.

Sniff. Sniff.

It’s back!

My head sprang up before the world returned to focus.

"—?!"

Everything hurt. I’d been so tense throughout the night that my neck and back were stiff, screaming at even the smallest movement, but I had to do something. I swung an arm out and rubbed my eyes with my other hand. It was, I was pathetic.

"G-get back!"

"Yirf!" Something barked.

"Seriously? You, again? We gotta stop meeting like… this. Go on, get out of here. Shoo!" I waved my hand at the squirrel-fox with less enthusiasm. I still just wanted to get rid of it. I failed to see why it kept returning every morning, or why it found me so interesting. "Well?"

It backed up, but a bushy tail wagged from side to side like it was in the mood to play. I sure wasn’t. The thing barked again, almost bouncing with excitement. If I still had any food left, I might have thrown some, giving it something to chase and leave me alone.

Good thing my food is already gone. The last thing I need to do is feed… it. I’ll never get rid of the weird little thing if I start that.

"You're too late. There's nothing left, not even for me. Go, find your own breakfast."

I waved my empty palms at it and hoped maybe the animal understood. The squirrel-fox bounced and pranced around a bit more. I refused to engage and ignored the pest, getting up to leave my hovel.

Crunch.

"Ow!"

I stepped on something hard and sharp. I jumped back, lifting my foot to inspect the damage. Just a scratch. I brushed away fragments of something that fell to the ground.

"What is it? A… shell? A nut? Where did that…?"

I looked at the creature. It watched me with a tilted head, then barked again.

"Why? Why don’t you go bother someone else? Leave me alone…"

The lack of a restful sleep left my head pounding. The added pain in my foot along with the barking didn’t help, either. A splash of water on my face and a drink were the only immediate options available to improve my mood.

Cool water trickled down my throat until reaching my empty stomach. Another reminder of my stolen food. A hunger pang followed, telling me to eat something. I looked down at my reflection. Dark, angry bags hung under the bloodshot eyes staring back at me. I’d seen that face before, often following a late night of gaming.

"I can’t keep doing… this. I don’t even know what I’m doing. Is this supposed to be some kind of twisted game, or just torture? That voice… using me for its own cruel entertainment. What’s the point? Haven't I already proved—?"

"Yirf!" The squirrel-fox stood at the statue’s feet, looking into the upside down world reflected at the both of us. It tilted its head, watching the water as if it thought I was waiting for something to happen, and waited along with me.

"I suppose you’re in on it too, huh? Having fun yet? I’m… not. I just… I want… my bed, some real food, and… to feel safe again. I want… to go… home. I can’t…"

Our reflections warped, distorting from a leaf landing on the water’s surface and sending ripples through them.

"G-get it together, Skyler." I wiped my eyes before the world got too blurry. "You’re giving that thing exactly what it—"

My stomach growled relentlessly, refusing to be ignored. I needed more food. I had to dig up more of the disgusting sustenance from the day before. I already planned for it to be my breakfast, so it wasn't too disappointing. At least I knew where to find more. I left my furry visitor at the fountain to ponder its own existence.

On my way back to the patch of wild flowers and vegetables, I checked for any more berries. Two. Just my luck. I wanted more, but the rest were still green. The bitter memory from the last time I bit into one of those prevented me from going another round. I picked the ripe ones. They’d make for a tiny dessert after the main course or a later snack. I made a mental note to come back whenever possible. More would eventually ripen.

I didn’t bother returning to the fountain or my hovel to eat. As soon as I dug up my breakfast, I wiped off the loose dirt and ate my fill. It was a slow meal. There was no way I'd be able to just wolf one down and move on, yet the more I ate, the more I pushed past the taste to a thankful, and more importantly, full stomach. There were some stalks growing from the more mature vegetables, too. I snapped one off and took a bite. The texture was almost like smooth tree bark. I decided to only focus on what I dug up going forward, the ones without sprouts.

Finally full, I filled my arms and carried a small harvest back to the shelter. Storing them in a pile like before felt futile. If my unwanted night-time guest returned, they'd steal them again. I didn’t want to risk not having any, or worse, need to dig up more in the rain. Instead of piling them in a corner, I filled one of the useless rain-catchers I had around. Placing a piece from one of the many broken containers over the top made a perfect lid for it to keep my food safe. Unsure about what kind of creature visited during the night, or whether it could open something so rudimentary, I added rocks to weigh it down and seal the lid.

"There. Take that you stupid animal."

I thought I was being smart, but I'd been the dumb one for not thinking about it before. Of course, something would come looking for any food I just left lying around. I really should have known better. After all, that’s what attracted me to the vegetables in the first place, easy—though disgusting—food.

"Now what? It might come back anyway. I went back for more, so… what about a fire?" I looked at my hands. I didn’t want more splinters like last time, but I hoped I was on a roll. "The leaves didn’t really help last night, and maybe… today might just be the day." I wanted to believe it could be true, however unlikely. I just needed to find the right wood, something that wouldn’t shatter from the friction of rubbing them together.