Eat or Be Eaten

“So… about that help I’ll need.”

I stared down at the plate that Pira had placed in front of me, completely lost. The discolored meat was topped with grilled mushrooms of a bright color that would have screamed poison back home. The side of gelatinous green goo seemed to move on its own in my peripheral vision every time I looked away from it. I tried to take a small sip of my drink while analyzing my dining options, only to realize too late that what I thought was water was actually something extremely alcoholic. It reminded me of paint thinner as my throat seized around it.

Andra spoke up while I coughed, her mouth full of food. “This meat's a dungen. They're small scavengers common down south. Their bites're awfully troublesome.”

“I imagine so, bites hurt.” I poked at the meat with my fork hesitantly.

“It’s not just that,” she replied matter of factly. “A dungen’s bite wound is slow to heal, and it gives off a sweet scent. The smell attracts larger predators.” She cocked her head as she chewed. “After a dungen bites you, it follows you to the ends of the earth, 'cause once a bigger creature shows up to finish you off, they can feast on what’s left of you.”

The paleness of my face must have caught her off guard, because she chuckled when she glanced at me. “They aren’t too bad. They tend to go for bigger prey anyway. We just mind each other's business back home. In fact,” she said around a fresh bite, “I like havin’ them around since their prey doesn’t stink too bad and attracts lots of new critters that I can hunt.”

“Is there any risk to eating this?” I studied my plate apprehensively.

“None at all, at least where the meat is concerned.” She smiled at me. “The same can’t be said about those Helfin mushrooms though. Those buggers are nasty! If you eat a raw one, they’ll rip you apart from the inside out! Always gotta check if they’re properly cooked.”

I blinked. “Against my better judgement, I have to ask… How does a mushroom rip someone apart from the inside?” I didn’t take my eyes from the mushrooms while I spoke, flipping them over with my utensils and checking for any sign that they were undercooked. I didn’t know what I thought I would find; I had no way to know what undercooked looked like.

Andra devoured her meal enthusiastically. The conversation clearly had no impact on her appetite as she speared a bit of mushroom with her knife. “These guys? The raw ones like to explode into spores while you eat them. They take root inside of your body and reproduce fast! Then when you inevitably die and your body is consumed by other animals, they spread to those who ate their previous host, and the cycle continues.” She took a hearty bite from the mushroom on her knife, clearly pleased. “They’re definitely fine here in the capital, so no worries there, but in the wild, it’s another story. Best advice I can give is this: never eat what you don’t kill. If you follow that rule, you’ll live just fine.”

My obvious discomfort prompted Estelar to speak up. “They’re completely harmless once cooked properly, but if it’d make you more comfortable, I can cast an additional level of purification on them for safe consumption,” he offered, smiling warmly.

I waved off his generosity with a murmured thanks. I knew logically it would probably be okay since it was being served here, where the food was safe. The path ahead would be far harsher than this simple meal, however, and I knew I must prepare for a variety of unpleasant surprises. I returned my attention to the meal.

“And this jello?” I poked at the gelatinous mass. “What kind of monstrosity is this?”

Andra peered over at my plate to see what I was talking about. She shrugged. “No clue, probably some noble waste. Doesn't look very nutritious.”

“It’s a delicacy, for your information.” Pira spoke up now, the sudden passion in her voice catching everyone by surprise as we swung to look at her. “Using new magical devices, we’ve been able to precisely control heat to remove harmful components of certain foods previously inaccessible to us. It’s a cultural and dietary revolution!”

I noticed that she didn’t actually say what the jelly was, but her obvious and slightly belligerent enthusiasm silenced the rest of us. I wondered idly if the gelatin process was at all similar to how we’d been making certain foods back home for well over one hundred years, but I decided not to ask.

I stared down at my mostly identified food and grimaced. No more procrastinating.

“When in Rome,” I mumbled to myself, but before I tried a bite of anything, I grabbed the cup of stiff alcohol and downed the entire glass with barely a sputter.

Pira smirked at me as Andra made a cheering sound through bites of her food. She was already on her second helping.

I made brief eye contact with Estelar and offered a wry smile. He leaned back in his chair, sighing slightly before he smiled back.

With my newfound liquid courage, I dug in, bracing for the cacophony of flavor that would surely hit my senses based on what I now knew of the food. I lifted a meat-laden fork to my lips, took a deep breath, and placed the bite on my tongue.

And then… nothing. All I tasted was bland. Compared to the broad range of flavors to be found in the food on Earth, this meal was a startling disappointment. The taste was comparable to eating lightly salted sand. The textures were not much better; the meat was too chewy, the mushrooms were incredibly dry, and the jelly had almost no substance at all. I forced the bite down and took another, unsure if I was relieved at the lack of impact.

It was edible but not enjoyable.

All that build-up for nothing. At least I’m not sick or dying.