Itasha Truck! Go!

Like Diesel encountered on his first job, there were cases when judgment was difficult solely based on the available data and testimony from the client. At such times, Diesel was glad to put in some fieldwork to learn more about the target. But then, he realized that the task was akin to being a stalker, hiding in plain sight to swing his ‘Truck or Not’ meter.

If there was ever a time when a suspicious vehicle seemed to continuously follow behind, let that be a warning to those that were nuisances to society.

Diesel parked himself next to the underpass of a bridge, eyeing a dirty, ragged man finding shelter underneath. The target was a homeless man named Travis, who looked every bit as miserable as the client, Wayne, had described.

Dingy cardboard and filthy clothes made for a makeshift home against the cold, but one unexpected item poked out from the covering – a dakimakura, one with a faded 2D anime girl with gray hair. Age and harsh living conditions hadn’t treated it kindly; all but the face was smeared with dirt and grime. It suddenly moved as a man popped out from the dwelling, every bit as dirty as he clutched the body pillow close to him. He uttered precious statements at the pillow like he was conversing with his dearest.

Wayne, a former friend of Travis, detailed the horrible situation that had befallen Travis, wishing to put him out of his misery.

“He just won’t stop! No matter how much I plead! No matter how shit his life has become! He can’t see anything but that digital broad!”

A phone call with Wayne revealed that Travis was a victim of excessive gacha spending, putting all his money down until he obtained his 2D waifu in the hit mobile game, Bonkai Cosmic Trail. But he didn’t stop there.

Merchandise and apparel. Figurines and artwork. Travis had created a shrine to celebrate the holidays with his waifu. He spent hours giggling as he changed her expensive, digital outfits and poked the screen for some voiced dialogue. At times, he took her on pretend dates to mimic a relationship, even scribbling appointments and anniversaries on his calendar for them.

Obviously, a ton of money had been dumped into this hobby, money that could have been put to a better use. While far from poor at first, Travis found that nothing was ever enough. And no amount of reason from Wayne could temper that greed. Travis let nothing bar him from connecting with his lovely Cronya.

The allure of pulling was too great. Being surrounded by plastic beauty gave him a sense of comfort. It was enough to swipe every dollar to his name, until he was finally kicked out of his apartment for defaulting on rent. He lived with his parents for the next few months, until they found him squandering their bank account.

Wayne, of course, tried to edge him out of the obsession. He offered genuine help and motivation to direct him to healthier habits. Yet, all it took was a digital smile and a few synthesized words to slap a collar back on Travis.

Psychologists wouldn’t help, not when Travis insisted that he was perfectly fine. Money lenders stopped giving out loans when they realized there was no more collateral to be forfeited.

In the end, Travis was left with only a few prized possessions in his man cave under the bridge, tapping into public electricity to keep his phone running. With no service, he could no longer log into his game. But that didn’t stop him from accessing Cronya’s unlocked files and playing them on repeat.

Wayne couldn’t take the madness in his eyes anymore. He discovered the Otherworld Isekai Service and placed his final hopes on it.

“Please… can you send Travis to another world where he can actually be happy with a waifu?”

Those final words before the call ended had left Diesel with a hole in his tank. It was an unreasonably specific request. Even if Travis was reborn, there was no guarantee that he would find a waifu-like girl just for him, even more so when she wasn’t real to begin with. But Wayne was desperate. He could no longer bear seeing his friend in such a state.

“The best one could hope for is a clean slate and a girl close to where he revives that will love him back,” Kami-sama told Diesel. “Among the infinite number of worlds out there, someone could be waiting for a loyal hero like him to show up.”

Loyal – that was certainly one way to describe Travis. It sounded like convenient words to butter up the target. But then again, what need was there to put on airs? Kami-sama’s goal was to restore balance in the worlds, so there was no need to coerce or force any request for service. Diesel was merely deployed because Travis was likely a necessary case to be fixed. At least, that was how he interpreted things so far.

The old man seemed to tease Diesel a bit, but in the end, he seemed like a pretty nice guy…er, god. And from what he had gathered, even deities needed help sometimes.

Kami-sama wasn't all-powerful as what humans had been led to believe. The stacks of papers that he received only contained the highlights of a person’s life, what defined the person. And in regards to this case with Travis, it had led to a bit of a head scratcher.

“There is too much information loss when it travels from the human world to the divine realm. That is why we employ Truck-kuns as surveyors. I can’t pinpoint why, but there is something strange about Travis. Can you be patient with this one?”

Kami-sama’s words hung heavily on Diesel as he continued to watch Travis. By now, his meter had firmly broken past the Truck! decision. Yet, he couldn’t take his sight off the broken man desperately clinging to some remnant of the fictional life he wanted to have.

Diesel admittedly was an otaku himself, possessing a strong attraction to certain anime characters. Posters and figurines of his favorites decorated his bedroom, so a wave of sympathy swept over him. But it had also not consumed his life, nowhere to that extent.

Wayne must have suffered quite a bit, seeing this situation degrade from the beginning. Sure, it’s a silly obsession, but who cares what it involves? An addiction by any other cause wouldn’t be any less debilitating.

Diesel huffed out a solemn sigh. Travis was lucky to have a Wayne that didn’t abandon him so quickly, someone to agonize over the whole situation and still wish happiness for Travis. Few in society would even deem such a sickness to be real when it didn’t involve a commonly abused substance or thrill.

Diesel held a desire to fulfill Wayne’s wish right there, but he held back his accelerator because Kami-sama had told him to be patient. He could bear to suffer a little like Wayne had.

Diesel watched as Travis continued to ramble about his day to his pillow, a sense of naive derangement in his words. The man had completely lost touch with reality. It was so full of cringe that it made Diesel want to cover his nonexistent ears at times.

But then, he saw Travis twitch violently and collapse backward. Surprised, Diesel started to edge forward, only for the body to pop back up in a state of shock. The man suddenly broke down in tears, punching the pillow and cursing his surroundings. It was unlike any of the behavior Travis had before.

“Damn it! The call didn’t work! He’s still alive! Why! WHY!”

Diesel recoiled at the sudden shift in personality. He could only park dumbly as the man continued to rant.

“Damn it, Travis! Why, why won’t you give up! Look at this trash! Look what it did to us! We can’t live like this! Please!”

The whimpering continued as incoherent babble, the man taking the pillow and slamming it on the ground now. He kicked aside the figurines and slammed his head against the concrete wall.

A chilling realization hit Diesel.

“Isn’t that… Wayne’s voice?”

The sadness and hopelessness laced in the phone call was the same. There was no other person hiding within the decrepit living space. Diesel decided to radio his boss.

“Kami-sama, are you reading this report? I don’t understand what’s going on.”

Moments later, a column of light appeared in which Kami-sama stepped out of. The old man watched the situation for a few moments, hand tugging at his chin hairs.

“It’s as I expected. The file on Travis was confusing enough. For some reason, there was no ‘Wayne’ in the system. So, it was this after all…”

“Kami-sama, you’re spouting Greek to me.” Diesel tried to cock his head to the side, but the entire truck body tilted in response.

“The man you see right now is Wayne. Whereas, the one before was Travis. They are of the same body. Two minds, fractured due to stress.”

Diesel realized why Wayne had stuck with his ‘friend’ for so long. He simply didn’t have a choice. It made him even more sorry for the guy… err, two guys.

“Well, complications happen every so often.” Kami-sama went over and gave Diesel a pat on the side. “But now, I know exactly how to deal with it. It’s fortunate that you waited like I asked you to.”

“Oh? Why so?” Diesel had no idea why this changed anything.

“Think about it. What would happen if you trucked the man before you now?”

A light on top of Diesel’s frame lit up after a moment. “Oh… would they both be isekaied?”

“Yes, and most likely, together in the same body. Can you imagine how troublesome a hero with dual personalities would be? Especially with such polarity, they would just get in each other’s way.”

“So, what now?”

Kami-sama waved his hand in the air, calling upon dark clouds. A gust of wind blew away the shoddy house of cardboard. An ear-busting thunder echoed, causing Wayne to jump and run out from under the bridge. At that very moment, a bolt of lightning struck him, and he fell over.

“Damn, Kami-sama straight up making nature do his dirty work.”

The deity turned to Diesel with a wry smile.

“I can be rather selective with lightning. Metal is conductive. Any more wisecracks?”

“No.”

“Good. It’s only Wayne I struck. Travis is unimpacted. As such, the physical chain that is on Wayne is now free. He can move on independently in another world.”

Sure enough, the body ahead twitched and started to get up. Travis looked around for a moment before seeing his torn-up pillow. Tears ran down his face as he shakily picked it up in a death hug.

“NOOOOOOO! What happened to your beautiful face?!”

When Travis passed out, Wayne showed up and smashed his prized possessions. He had destroyed the last things that gave Travis any will to live.

“I can’t bear to live without you, my precious Cronya!”

Now, all that was left was the delirious man from before. Kami-sama turned around to walk away from the scene. But before he got far, he slapped a suggestion on Diesel’s hood with a wink.

“It’s your turn now, Diesel-kun. I’ll find a good world that suits him. It’s your role to give him a proper send off, as a fellow otaku.”

Diesel stared at the broken man that had lost all his will to live, and his dignity long before that. In another world, that determination could be harnessed to do great things. It was unfortunate how misdirected those efforts were in this one.

A horn honked at Travis, who barely acknowledged it. It took several more for him to stir.

“Leave me alone! Why must the world do this to me?! All I want is to be with the one I love!”

This time, a feminine voice played a few lines over a truck radio.

Travis shivered. It was her!

He looked up to find the most glorious sight – Cronya decal plastered all around a truck. His knees gave in for a moment before he found the strength to break into a dash. The itasha truck’s engine roared and accelerated forward.

“My beloved Cronya! Come here and give papa a hug! I want to sniff your curls!” Travis sprinted with renewed vigor, arms wide open, tears streaming down his face. He was ready to meet his destiny.

“Good luck, my friend. I hope you find the true girl of your dreams next time. One that can appreciate the devotion you possess.”

Travis thought he heard Cronya speak, but as their bodies met, nothing mattered anymore.