Chapter 17

“Well?”

Two weeks had passed since that day.

I could see Yui’s wound close, but not the Yuri who healed it.

Two weeks of trying everything to no avail.

Even mother, who we decided to consult, couldn’t believe what had happened.

All we did back then was have a stupid little fight - why did that cause this situation?

Or maybe only 1 person could fully perceive Yuri at once?

Did my unique ability pass on to Yui? Thus, not making it mine or unique.

Meaning…it would have to do with Yuri herself, right?

I couldn’t say for sure.

All I knew was how lonely I felt and how much I still had to tell her.

The murky feeling in my chest was growing every day.

Yui knew about Yuri.

What had Yuri told her?

Had Yui come to view me in a negative light?

What am I meant to tell Victoria when she starts asking questions?

I knew it - I should never have tried allowing Yuri to meet other people.

If I hadn’t told her my idea to get mother to see her, Yuri would still be mine and mine alone.

I hate it.

I can’t see her.

Others can.

What if they covert her?

Want her?

Try to take her?

Unforgiveable.

My head throbbed but I didn’t let the pain show.

These thoughts - they were becoming more and more common.

Yuri, why can’t I see you?

Or is it that you don’t want me to see you anymore?

“Hmm, it’s a tough one,” mother said. “There are still other things we can try, but hmm…it doesn’t make sense to me.”

Yui nodded. “I did everything Onee-sama and Yuri had discussed previously, but I don’t know if there’s anything we’ve missed.”

“…Sadly, there’s not an easy way of checking now.”

Not without running the risk of-

I laughed bitterly and put my head in my hand.

Even now, I care more about myself than Yuri and my relationship with her.

What’s wrong with me?

“Onee-?”

“Yui.” I forced myself to smile, perfectly replicating my usual smile. I hope. “Please be as kind to Yuri as I was.”

“Like you ever were!”

…Strange.

I should be laughing, imagining how Yuri usually retorts.

So, why do I want to cry?

I couldn’t stay there any longer, so I ran away, opening the door just enough for me to get through, and closing it before any fairy could make it through.

I, for the first time, ran to my room.

I locked the door and slumped against it to the ground.

I don’t remember what else happened after that, but I cried a lot.

Pathetic.

Future Duchess of the Armina Duchy, crying her eyes out for someone like Yuri.

“…What a dumb thought.”

Even now, I still spoke like that.

I laughed bitterly and hit my head twice against the door hard.

“How lame.”

How miserable.

How fitting.

As expected of-

The villainess.

The worst, villain in history.

As expected of Raena von Armina!

“Shut up!”

Enraged, I screamed and screamed and started throwing things.

I didn’t care what.

It didn’t matter if it broke.

I just-

I don’t even know.

By the time I had calmed down, my room was a mess.

But I didn’t care.

“Yuri…where are you?”

***

Teles kept my temper tantrum a secret and discretely replaced the things in my room.

I, meanwhile, pretended to keep going as normal.

I worked, I trained, I studied, and I kept going with my normal routine.

So, why did I feel so unfulfilled and empty?

“Onee-sama, can you still not see her?”

I shook my head. “It’s okay. As long as she has you, I’m sure she’ll-”

***

A month without Yuri.

I broke the tenth quill of the week.

Strange - my hand was full of splinter and bleeding, but it remained bloody.

“Yuri, why are-?”

Oh, right.

She’s not here.

She can’t heal me anymore.

“Raena~”

“Yuri?!” I looked around, but I couldn’t see her.

…It must have been in my mind.

After all, if Yuri were here, she’d be healing my hand.

She’d be speaking harshly to me.

She’d be-

***

“Miss Raena, the duel’s over! Please, put your sword down!”

Oh.

I looked at my defeated opponent, lying on his back, bleeding from his face and nose, and realised I was panting heavily.

Strange - I’m not usually this tired after a mock battle.

I’m also not someone to draw blood, especially against a knight of our duchy.

“…My apologies.”

I dropped my sword and walked away, my ears ringing and my vision a little blurry.

Why didn’t Yuri stop me?

Why didn’t anyone-?

Oh - right. Only Yuri would speak so defiantly to the heir of the duchy.

No one else would dare.

If I’d wanted to, I could have beaten that knight half to death and no one would have questioned me.

Not one of them.

…Maybe I should.

It’d be a good way to let off steam.

“…What did I just think of?”

“My lady?”

I ignored Teles and started tearing my armour off haphazardly, so my maids started to try and help me change.

I didn’t care if it was special or expensive - it was, like so many other things.

“A bother.”

…

They would probably take that comment to heart.

But I didn’t care.

After all, I’m-

The villainess!

***

My mother came to visit me in my study.

I was so busy working I barely said anything to her.

I didn’t care what she was saying.

“Tea parties? I don’t have time for that.”

“N-now, now, Raena, don’t-”

I didn’t hear the rest.

I was too absorbed in my studies.

I had to find a way.

Some spell.

Some magic.

Some - something!

There has to be something we’ve overlooked.

Something!

Anything!

Hahahahahaha!

“Shut up!”

I swiped the contents of my desk and-

***

Nearly four months.

Was that how little time had passed?

Impossible.

It was too exhausting.

It was too stressful.

It was too l-

“Onee-sama!”

Apparently, I passed out at some point and fell in a bad way.

I’d been studying in the library, went to get a book from a high shelf and fell as I was climbing down the ladder.

As for how I didn’t die or get more seriously injured, the answer lies in the fact that I have a maid who is very good at her job.

If Teles hadn’t tried to catch me and cushion part of the fall, I imagine I’d have died.

“You need to get plenty of rest, my lady. If you don’t, you could make things -- my lady, rest!”

…For the first time in her life, Teles had raised her voice at me.

That was enough to make me stay still and try to sleep.

But it was no use.

After a short, terrible sleep, I awoke, tried to move and passed out.

This cycle repeated several times throughout the day, but I wouldn’t let this stop me.

I would keep going on.

I would keep working.

I would-

I slipped onto the floor, pale, cold and unable to stand, so I dragged myself across the floor.

“…I have to keep going. I’m sure she is too. I’m sure…so.”

“Get back to bed, you stupid villainess!”

“…Shut up, Yuri.” I spat venom and laughed angrily. “That’s…not you. You don’t sound-”

“Raena!”

I must be more exhausted than I thought.

My sleep-deprived mind thinks that Yuri is talking to me, but that’s impossible.

She’s been gone for months.

Even in my mind, it’s not her voice I heard.

It’s the voice of-

“Stop making me so worried, Raena!”

Someone appeared before me and started pushing me back onto my bed.

“…Is this a dream?”

“You’re such an idiot, Raena! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!”

This is quite a realistic dream.

How bizarre.

Is this that Lucid Dream thing I’d heard about?

I wish I had a clearer head so I could properly enjoy it, but-

“Stop trying to work, idiot!”

Suddenly, I was lying on my bed and someone’s face was close to mine and then-

Lips.

Lips brushed against mine.

They were sweet, and gentle, and - oh, this is a bit too realistic feeling for a dream.

Surely-

No, that’s-

The other face pulled away and I could faintly see tears falling from their eyes.

It was dark, my head was a mess, and I couldn’t see anything in focus, but someone was here, in my room, and they had just kissed me.

Impossible.

“…Yuri?”

“Who else would it be, idiot Raena?! Honestly, you’ve done nothing but make me worried for months and now-! Idiot! Why did you push yourself so hard?! Treasure yourself more and stop making me so worried about you!”

It was like a fog was slowly being lifted from my heart.

My eyesight was adjusting to the darkness for the first time in a long time, and I thought I could see her face but then-

She was gone.

Was she embarrassed?

Wait, if that was Yuri, then she’d learnt how to transform into a human, right?

Does that mean I could see her again?

Even if it was just when she was in that form?

…How I prayed this was real.

My eyelids were too heavy, and I was exhausted, heart, mind, body and soul.

When I wake, will you be there again?

“…Yuri…”

“Don’t worry, Raena.” A small hand touched my forehead. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“…Promise…me…”

“Of course. I’ll keep my promise.”

I felt someone’s arms wrap around me.

“…Can I…?”

“One day, but not now.” A hand covered my eyes. “I’ll be here when you wake, I promise.”

“…Good…Nigh…”

“Sweet dreams, Raena.”

***

I slept well.

I don’t know for how long, but it was now a bright morning, and the sun’s glow was warm.

I didn’t feel murky.

I felt - light, as if a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

…Would she still be here?

I slowly sat up and looked around, and by the window, floating upon her little book with her vibrant green hair and humming happily, was the fairy I’d longed to see.

She stopped, turned around and gave me a bright smile. “Good morning, Raena.”

With tears in my eyes, I said, “Good morning, Yuri.”