Chapter 5:
From the Day I Died to the Day I Lived
As the night grew darker, Sachi and Himari were fast asleep, exhausted from the day.
As the girls laid in the soft grass near the lake, fog started to form.
From the fog, a deer appeared.
It walked confidently through the fog.
A chill began to form, waking Sachi.
Sachi notices the fog and how cold and mysterious it felt.
She looks about her, soon discovering the deer.
This was no ordinary deer though. Something about it was different.
It was much larger and stronger looking than any deer Sachi knew of.
Its coat white as snow and antlers looking as though it could reach the trees.
The fog became heavier.
The air grew colder.
The deer began to walk away.
It turned to look at Sachi and then again to continue walking, as though signaling Sachi to follow.
Sachi looked at Himari as she laid sound asleep and then back at the deer, its figure starting to merge with the fog.
Sachi gathered her courage and began to follow the deer.
As Sachi followed behind the deer, it was as if the trees were parting the way for them.
The fog was so thick that Sachi was unaware of her surroundings.
Where was it leading her?
The fog grew so thick that Sachi wasn't even sure they were in the forest anymore.
When she looked to the sky it was nothing but darkness, when she looked to either side of her it seemed like miles of fog, and when she looked to her feet there was so much fog that she could barely see her feet, let alone where she was walking.
It seemed as though Sachi had been following the deer for hours. Her exhaustion was reaching its limit, each step proving to be more difficult than the last.
Everything seemed surreal.
Time seemed distorted.
Her surroundings seemed like an illusion.
There was a faint ring of a bell that seemed far into the distance.
The air so cold it was painful to breathe.
But if she stopped following the deer now, she was sure she would be too lost to find her way back.
She tried to warm herself up by rubbing her hands against her arms, but the cold was too strong.
Sachi opened her mouth to speak, planning to ask the deer where it was leading her.
But no sound escaped her throat as if she were silenced.
Fear started to place itself inside Sachi's heart.
She wasn't sure if following the creature was a good idea.
Her legs were exhausted, her body was shivering, and her mind on edge.
She wanted to stop, but curiosity was stronger.
Finally, the deer stopped in its tracks. It looked at Sachi and then to the left.
Sachi looked to her left, trying to see what the deer saw.
The fog thinned slightly.
To the left was a large lake frozen over with thick ice.
Sachi approached the frozen lake. There was nothing on it. But when she took an even closer look, she saw herself.
As Sachi looked past the surface, what she saw was not her reflection, but a memory.
Scenes of Sachi being bullied in elementary school, middle school, and high school played within the ice. Scenes of her parents fighting with each other and yelling at her were shown. A sight of her older sister's back getting smaller as it went into the distance. And through it all, Sachi stood there alone.
Sachi gazed at her past self-left abandoned and hurt through the frozen lake.
She turned to the deer. "What's the point in showing me this?" her voice finally spoke.
All the deer replied with was turning its head to the right.
The fog thinned again.
Another large lake frozen over with thick ice appeared.
Sachi hesitantly approached the iced lake.
When she looked within the frozen lake, she again saw herself. But this was not a self she knew. This was not a memory of hers. This was not even a face she was familiar with. It looked like her, but she appeared older.
She stared as she watched the girl behind the icy surface cower in fear as someone threw a vase at her in a house. She watched helplessly as she saw the girl harassed on the street. She felt her chest tighten when she saw people gossip behind her back in an office. Was this Sachi? Perhaps in another lifetime? Or perhaps this was her future?
She again turned to the deer. "So, if I hadn't died in the other world that would've been my future?"
The deer stomped one of its feet.
The frozen lake to the right cracked and the scenes playing began to pause and glitch as if it had poor connection.
"Is it still my future...? Or is this another version of me out there...?"
Sachi's chest tightened. She felt bad for her younger self to be frozen in the lake trapped with her painful memories. She also felt bad for this other version of her to also be trapped. She wanted to do something. But what could she possibly do?
Sachi's head sank in defeat. It's not like she could change her past and nothing she could do would change anything for this other version of her. It wouldn't make any difference if she did anything. She turns away from the images.
"I can't do anything for them so why are you showing me this?" she asks the deer.
The deer lowers its head, its nose touching the ground.
The ground disappeared from beneath Sachi's feet.
Sachi falls. It feels sickening.
As Sachi falls, the sight of the deer and the two lakes grows fainter.
The fog disappears, along with the deer and lakes.
Sachi looks down as she falls and sees another body of water beneath her. This time it is not frozen. The water is running.
The large body of water has many paths extending from it. The water flows in many directions, reaching places Sachi can't see.
As the water gets closer and closer, Sachi prepares for impact.
She hits the water.
-
Sachi wakes up to Himari splashing water on her face.
"Hey, are you okay?" Himari asks concerned.
Sachi looks around. She's by the fairy lake. Right where she was before.
"You seemed like you were having a deep dream. No matter how I spoke to you or shook you, you didn't wake up" Himari continued.
Was it all a dream? No... Sachi felt the cold, she felt the fall, she felt herself hitting the water. It was all very surreal, but Sachi was sure it wasn't a dream.
"I don't think I was dreaming..." Sachi finally speaks.
"What makes you say that?"
"It felt so real..."
"Some dreams can be like that. What did you see?" Himari's curiosity peaking.
"There was a deer and a lot of fog, and I was trapped in ice..."
"Did you say a deer? Was it by any chance a white deer?"
"Yes, a big white deer. How did you know?"
"You met a messenger deer then." Himari explains. "It's a really old legend. They're said to deliver the message a person's soul needs to hear the most."
"That needs to be heard most...?"
"It's also said that depending on how well the person handles the white deer's trial, depends how much the messenger deer tells them." Himari continued.
"I guess I didn't handle the trial well. I don't feel like the deer told me anything."
"Well, whatever the messenger deer told you, I'm sure you can figure it out."
"Well, I saw two lakes..." Sachi started.
"Woah no!" Himari quickly interrupted. "You can't tell me what you saw. The messenger deer showed that to your soul and your soul alone. To tell others would be to betray what they showed you."
"Oh, I didn't know it was bad..."
"If the messenger deer showed you something then you are the only one who should know about it because you are also the only one that can figure it out."
"I don't think I'm smart enough to figure it out though."
"I think you're plenty smart. Plus, if it was something you could understand right away then the messenger deer wouldn't have needed to show you. So, give yourself some time, I'm sure it'll come to you." Himari smiles trying to encourage Sachi.
Sachi smiles softly in return. She wonders what the messenger deer could've been trying to tell her. She also wonders if she will ever figure it out.
Himari gets up from the grass, dusting her clothes off. "So, it's a new day, where shall we go?"
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