Hands Intertwined

Sota sat outside of Ren's house, watching as she exited and made her way down to the car. 

He took a deep breath and collected himself. He had done a lot of reflection since the weekend - both on their hangout as well as his own feelings. There'd been quite a bit of up and down, but he was still focusing on ignoring his self-deprecation and remaining logical. At the very least, he was locked in to getting through today.

"Good morning, Senpai!"

Ren sat herself down in the passenger seat and put her bag in the back of the car. Once she was ready to go, they were on their way. 

"You ready to go for today?"

"I think so, but I'm always nervous," Ren admitted. "I don't want to do bad and disappoint anyone."

"A bit harsh, don't you think?"

"Maybe..."

Ren stared out the window, her expression a bit more closed off than usual. She was flustered and seemed a bit anxious - a stark contrast from her typical upbeat self. 

"I wouldn't worry too much about today," he insisted. "Things like this are always nerve-wracking. By the end of today, you'll see that everything went the way you hoped for."

"Yeah..."

Her response was a bit meek, and she looked out the window at the scenic view. Sota wished he could do more, but pre-competition nerves were a typical thing. He decided it'd be best to just talk about other topics for now. 

Ren, on the other hand, was doing her best to conceal her blushing face. She knew Sota had been talking about the tournament, but his words struck awfully close to her anticipation for what came after.

***

Sota's nerves began to tighten a bit as the day went on. 

The tournament proceeded as-expected. Despite her nerves, Ren had swept the competition in all of her divisions. It was the one moment where Ren's excitement returned in earnest.  She even shot him a quick thumbs up when she was handed her trophy. 

Sota placed in a couple areas, but that was it. He didn't practice outside of class, and he was not the prodigy Ren was. 

Despite the competition itself being done, Sota had noticed that Ren's mood hadn't improved in the slightest. She was currently watching and supporting a couple of the other students, but it was tame compared to what he was used to seeing from her. 

Whatever was on her mind hadn't had anything to do with the competition - and that didn't sit well with him. 

"Is that a brooding Sota I see out in the wild?"

Riku plopped down on the bench next to him, sitting back to relax after finishing first in one of his competitions for the day. He looked at Sota, and then followed his eyes off towards Ren. 

"Perhaps a daydreaming Sota, instead? I've noticed you too being a lot more chummy since last week's festivities..."

"Yeah...about that," Sota looked to him. "Has Ren talked to you at all about how it went?"

"Surely you know that as the Queen, I would never sell out the Princess. Guess you'll have to share all the 'deets' with me yourself! Did it go as well as you were hoping?"

"It went too well. My guard was down within the first hour - no facades or pretending to be someone I wasn't. It made me happy, but I also know how intense I can come across if I'm not paying attention. Seeing her so full of nerves today is making me wonder if I'm making her uncomfortable..."

"She's been texting you a bunch since then, hasn't she? Is this you being logical, or is this you listening to your self-talk?"

"I don't know," Sota admitted, standing up, "but I'm going to go against my natural instinct since that seems to be the best path forward."

He turned his attention back to Ren. She had been looking in their direction, then quickly looked away when she realized she'd been spotted. After a moment, she turned her gaze back and jogged over. 

"What's the plan, now?" she asked. 

"Since we're finished up, I'd say we can head out at this point."

"Sounds good! I'll grab my things."

Ren jogged off. Riku stood from the bench as well.

"I'll cover for you if Sensei asks where you both went," Riku teased as he walked away. "Don't waste my gracious efforts, dear Senpai!"

***

For Ren, the tournament had gone by in a flash. She was excited to have done well in her competitions, but her mind was honed in on what came next. 

Sota had explained his plan for today. Grab some food, go to a nearby park, and have a small picnic. It seemed like a relaxing way to wrap up the day, especially with Ren's nerves being so high. While she felt bad about causing him to worry, she had really liked the sound of it.

They got out of the car once they arrived at the park. Ren grabbed the food they had purchased while Sota grabbed a blanket and a couple of pillows from the back of the car. They silently worked in unison, finding a spot and setting everything up. 

They sat and ate in silence. They watched a nearby baseball game in silence. Eventually, they both laid back on the blanket and stared at the clouds - also in silence. Every quiet second felt like borrowed time - and it was killing Ren on the inside.

"So..." Ren finally broke the silence out of desperation. "I know you mentioned relaxing and just chatting for today... Was there anything specific you had in mind?"

"You're very special to me, Ren."

Ren shot up to a sitting position almost instantly. It came out of nowhere. 

"W...what?" she questioned, her heart pounding out of her chest. 

"Since the day we met, you've always made it clear that you valued me being there," he continued. "You would care deeply if I were to suddenly disappear, and I can't remember my last experience with that."

"Th...that's not true! What about Riku...and Sensei?"

She was trying to keep her composure while still engaging the conversation. Sota simply chuckled. 

"It's easy to think that's the case, but then I did disappear. You began coming to class with Natsu, and I got so anxious about losing that attachment that I just cut it off before it got worse. I did disappear, and no one even batted an eye. It wasn't until weeks later that Riku came to visit, and he was uncharacteristically adamant about me leaving the house. Either he was having an off day, or someone confronted him and pushed him into it."

He turned his head and locked eyes with her. Ren immediately looked away, her face red as she recalled her brief spat with Riku about leaving the situation undealt with. It took a moment for her to process his words, and then her brain came to a screeching realization. 

"So that whole disappearance...was because I was riding to class with Senpai Natsu?"

"Yes. The whole 'Ren Incident' you were worried about? That's what it boiled down to."

It felt like a giant weight had lifted off of Ren's shoulders. For months, she'd been worrying about what she could have done wrong. The situation wasn't her fault at all - it was simply a byproduct of Sota caring about her so much. 

She could hear her heartbeat in her ears - a brutal mixture of excitement and anxiety. Sota eventually continued talking.

"Then you reached out to me via text for the first time, and I knew I had to help. Then we had the private lesson and that incident with your grandfather, which I had to come to class to clear up. Eventually, I realized that it was way too late to be pretending I could avoid it. We hang out last week so I could try to make heads or tails of what you are to me - and here we are now."

That was where Sota let it hang. It was a simple summary, which left Ren with only a simple follow-up. 

"So then...what am I to you?"

The question lingered in the air for a bit - it was the essence of what this entire endeavor had been about over the last few months. Sota had spent plenty of time pondering - he needed to answer. 

"You have a stellar personality. We have so much in common that it's terrifying. We can talk forever. You're more attractive than you give yourself credit for..."

Sota went on and on. In his mind, he had already crossed the point of no return and was intent on getting it all out there. Ren didn't know that, though - it was just fuel on a growing fire. 

"I don't know what happens next," he admitted, coming towards the end of his monologue. "My childhood did not equip me for situations like this. I don't know whether what I want is a close friendship or something more... What I do know is that I want to find out. Because regardless of what form it takes - you are someone I want to have around for the rest of my life."

Ren remained silent. She was completely floored by the tsunami of feelings Sota had just unleashed in her direction. 

Could this be real? Do I deserve this kind of happiness? What if he gets closer and realizes how crazy I am?

While those negative thoughts did flood her trauma-infused mind, it wasn't destructive enough to overcome the positive. At the end of her inner whirlwind, she landed on a few small words. It wasn't much, but it was enough to let him know that she felt the same way.

"I'd like to find out, too..."

After that, she just laid back down and stared at the sky once again. They didn't say anything further, They just stared at the clouds, processing this moment for what it was. Her brain was an inferno amidst an incredibly relaxing environment. It felt like the world had turned upside-down, in a way that was both really exciting and equally terrifying.

Whatever came next, they would figure out together. They didn't need to speak to understand that part. All it took was their hands interlocking together as they sat there admiring the sky.