To Fix What Once Was Broken, or Hold It Together Until It Can Be

My sword struck Finley’s with a ‘clack.’ Her sword stayed still, refusing to even tilt as I swung blow after blow.

“My turn!”

Finley swung her sword down sideways and I rushed to block it. The force of her sword caused my own to fly back, sending a jolt of pain through my wrists.

“You’re gonna have to do better than that.”

Finley made another downward swing at my head as I recovered from the last hit. I lifted my sword to block the hit at the last second. The loud ‘clack’ was followed by a knee to my stomach.

“Ack—“

I fell to my side and narrowed my eyes at Finley. I could see Matthias take a step closer as I clutched my stomach.

“What… was that for?!”

“In a real fight, you’ll have to put your whole body into it. What’re you gonna do if you run out of mana, huh? You can barely even hold that thing.”

Finley pointed down at me with a frown, the bright sunlight hiding behind her. I pushed myself up and rubbed the dirt off my face. I picked up my fallen sword and stood tall.

“You don’t know what I can do. You think that magic makes me weaker, but this body was weak to begin with.”

I slammed a hand on my chest. Finley’s frown remained, but I could see her eyes widen when I spoke. Matthias had a similar expression, and his eyes darted away from me to look at Finley.

“I’m using magic as another tool to defend myself, and to help everyone in our future battles. It’s you who’s too weak to move past your preconceived notions and work with us all to defeat Eris.”

I bit the inside of my cheek as I waited for Finley to respond. She glared at me silently for what felt like an eternity. I glanced at Matthias, who stood by with clenched fists and a clouded expression.

“I… will never forgive them.”

My shoulders slumped as Finley dropped her sword.

“But I know… I know that you’ve never done anythin’ for me to hate you.”

Finley’s brow knitted and she looked away. Her eyes wavered as she clenched and unclenched her fists. The corners of her mouth twitched as she spoke.

“You’re right, that body is weak… too weak for a real fight…”

She trailed off as her gaze moved to the ground, then slowly over to Matthias. She slumped down slightly and I could see the beads of sweat on her face. I felt sweat drip into my eye and closed it to lessen the burning.

“… If you want to use that magic nonsense, then go ahead. Just don’t expect me to support you.”

Finley turned on her heels and began to walk away. I wiped my eyes and looked at Matthias, who was staring wide-eyed at Finley as she left. He shook his head and ran off into the forest.

She was looking at him when she spoke. Was she talking to both of us? Does he also…?

“Ma—!”

“Don’t. Let him be.”

Finley shouted at me over her shoulder as I attempted to call out to Matthias. He disappeared behind the trees and I rushed to catch up to Finley.

I can’t leave it like this.

“Finley,” I called out to her and she stopped just outside the tunnel, “I’m sorry, that we can’t agree on the use of magic, but I need to know… can we still—“

Finley turned sideways to face me, a surprised expression on her face. She smiled softly, but her eyebrows were still tense.

“I don’t hate you, Ghostie. I just can’t watch my friends become… like them.”

I watched Finley retreat into the tunnel and returned to my spot in the forest. I threw onto the ground the wooden sword that was still held tightly in hand. I closed my eyes and tried to feel the mana around me.

I held out my hand and opened my eyes. A small orb of light appeared above my palm. I flicked my wrist and the orb shot forward. It traveled a few feet ahead before dissipating.

Still not enough.

I flopped down on the blanket with my arms wide. I let out a long sigh and closed my eyes.

I’m so tired… but I’m nowhere near as skilled as Vivian or as strong as Finley. Maybe I’m better as a decoy until this body dies. Then I can just possess someone better…

I sat up and ran my hands through my short hair. The wooden sword lay on the ground in front of me. I picked it up and rose to my feet. I swung it up and down, side to side, over and over until sunset.

~ ~ ~

I picked up my dinner rations and looked around for my companions. I spotted Finley sitting on a log and slowly walked over. She glanced at me and looked back at the fire.

I sat down beside her and stared at the fire as I ate. Vivian made her way over and sat a small distance away from us. I looked around the camp to find Matthias, but he was nowhere to be seen.

“Matthias isn’t back. Have you seen him?”

I turned to look at Finley. I could see the concern in her eyes. I shook my head and she lowered her gaze.

“The sun should be settin’ now... Sigh, I can’t believe I said that to him. I should’ve sent him away before our little scuffle…”

“No. It’s my fault, I wanted to speak to you alone. I should’ve waited for a better opportunity.”

I placed a hand on my chest. Finley gave me a tense smile before returning to her meal. I stared at the fire as I continued mine, and we sat in silence.

After finishing her meal, Finley left the campfire area. I stayed sitting by the fire as the other members made their ways to their tents. As the fire dwindled, Vivian came to sit beside me.

“Matthias has not come back yet. Are you not worried?”

“Of course I am. That jerk better be back before sunrise, or I’ll have to go find him myself.”

I glared at the fire, my foot tapping against the rough rocky floor.

“He will be back. I remember one instance when my father stormed out of Master’s home. He was gone for nearly a whole day. It felt more like a week… What I mean to say is, some people can be very bull-headed. They need time… and distance.”

Vivian intertwined her fingers and separated them to mimic the idea of ‘distance.’ I leaned my cheek on my right hand and sighed.

“Finley and Matthias were the first people I met in this world that I have a common goal with. Although we haven’t known each other long, I feel like they’re important to me. The memories I’ve inherited from the bodies I’ve inhabited tell me that’s enough.”

“Maybe it is. I have known you for less time than them and I find myself wishing we were sisters.”

The short girl smiled at me, and I was taken aback.

Oh.

“Vivian… I’m sorry, this whole time I’ve been so focused on them. I never really tried to interact with you, and you’ve been helping me all this time.”

I bowed my head and closed my fists. I thought back to when Vivian first taught me how to create an orb of light, and the way she cheered for me when I finally succeeded.

I don’t think the old me knew what real friendship was like. Those NPCs’ memories tell me very little, aside from the one or two close friends they’ve had.

“Miss Velda? You need not worry about me, I see the pain you are experiencing. I will be happy when I see you three interact as you once did.”

“Ha, we barely interacted at all.”

“An immortal bond can be built within a day.”

I lifted my head. Vivian smiled with closed eyes before lowering them to gaze at Ursa, which she held on her lap.

“That was what Master Burkhardt said the day my father died. I only knew him for a month, after my mother abandoned me at Master’s home. I thought what Master said was nonsense— how can a mother who knew her child for years abandon her in one night, and why did my father leave her after I was born? Where were our immortal bonds? Why did my father have an ‘immortal bond’ with Master Burkhardt, when he barely knew his own daughter?!”

Ursa became crushed in Vivian’s hands. I reached out a hand, then pulled it back.

No. My hands are real now. If they can hurt, they can also help.

I placed my left hand on her shoulder. She stiffened, and I could see her staring at my hand from the corner of her eye. I couldn’t think of anything to say, so I returned my gaze to the dwindling fire.

When the last ember faded, I looked over to see that Vivian had fallen asleep on my shoulder. I felt my expression soften, and I carefully tried to move her. I looked around for a solution when I heard a voice coming from behind me.

“Don’t move.”

I watched the person enter my field of view and walk to Vivian’s other side. I stared at him silently as he lifted her into his arms. He turned to look at me, his normally narrowed eyes showing no emotion. His hair was disheveled, with a leaf stuck here and there. His left sleeve was burnt, and there was sweat dripping from his forehead.

“…”

I opened my mouth to speak, but closed it again when I realized I didn’t know what to say to him. I didn’t want to argue anymore.

“Goodnight.”

The disheveled, dark-clothed man retreated without another word, leaving me in the silent darkness. I stood up and walked out through the tunnel, the chirping of crickets filling my blank mind.

I flopped onto the dirty blankets I called my bed and quickly drifted off to sleep.