The Power of the Overworked Salaryman

The dragon’s golden eyes narrowed to slits. I hoped that it didn't mean anything bad!

Personally, I would have engulfed us in flames already because I was being so annoying.

Then—impossibly—its jaw softened. The corners of that mouth curved up just slightly. One massive forepaw lifted with surprising delicacy. Its talons folded in. Was that…?

Did it just make an okay gesture?!

Yes, yes it did, judging by how the dragon was winking as it flew away.

I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I laughed. I continued to laugh and laugh. I didn’t care! This world was amazing!

The knight who pulled me back wasn’t so enthused. “Kid, you pull that again…”

I scratched the back of my head sheepishly.

“I recognize the creature,” the gryphon said. “I thought it was baseless rumors, but… I think we just encountered East Gate’s friendly neighborhood dragon.”

That being confirmed was all I needed to act even giddier than before.

I wished, more than anything, to experience riding on a dragon’s back one day. I wanted to become friends with one.

That settles it! As soon as I get my bearings, I’m seeking her out, and… I don’t know, chill out, I guess. The austerity was enough.

I wanted this story of mine to last forever! Where adventures are wild, without cause, utterly epic, and didn't have any lasting consequences!

Happy endings on repeat. That was the dream.

So why did it feel like the further we travelled closer to East Gate, the sadder people seemed to get?

Maybe the day would come when the “episodes” stopped, when the story got serious. 

But for now, I had to keep my head down and walk back to the carriage.

\\

Evening gave way to night. Through the carriage lanterns, I watched snowflakes drift past, catching the light like falling stars. Without the light pollution of Japan, it felt like I could see every star and comet in the galaxy.

But it was hard to admire beauty when everything in front of you was so dour. 

“S-so hungry…” one kid croaked. “So cold…”

“Hang on just a little more, OK? Not too long till East Gate now,” I heard the knight soothe. Then, he gave the gryphon a smack on the flank. “I know you can pull harder than this, Xaminen!”

“You’re welcome… to take over… anytime!” he grunted.

A beat.

“…You know what?” The knight gave the gryphon two pats on the back. “You’re doing great.”

In fairness, the scenery so far had been breathtaking. It was golden hour for a fair bit of it. We were following a small river trail, with mountains that flanked us from either side.

Winter was setting in, but there was still time for us to spot this land’s birds migrating.

They sailed through misty clouds that clashed against the mountains, dipping down toward the rivers that gave us our drinking water.

Tokyo felt so grey by comparison.

I couldn’t help but smile a little.

It was hard to imagine how far those freedom fighters from earlier were willing to kidnap us to enact… whatever nefarious plan they had.

At last, the scenery began to shift. Still forest, sure—but not just endless trees anymore. The trunks now glowed with a soft sheen. And mushrooms—huge ones, easily the size of cows—dotted the forest floor. Hell, even the moss and lichen were magical.

The only natural phenomenon I thought seemed magical back home were passed-out salarymen having a Shibuya meltdown.

Then, without warning, the carriage lurched to a halt.

For the first time, I heard Xaminen sigh. It sounded more like the low growl of an idling engine than breath.

“Just our luck…”

The dashing knight decided to not be so dashing any longer, and sat up straight. “What’s happening?”

The gryphon pointed with his claw. “Godsdamn… kobolds up ahead. Why are they so near the city?”

“W-What?! How are you so nonchalant about this?! Kristine, Marcos, to arms! Arms!”

I heard the telltale shuffle of armor and the whimpers of kids beginning to cry.

So much for two hours of uneventful travel.

“Don’t fret, children!” the knight declared with a dazzling grin. “They don’t call us a Rank B adventurer team for nothing!”

…Said every soon-to-die side character in anime history.

He leapt down, grabbed a torch, and spun it with flair.

“HEY! HEY!!” he bellowed down the path.

I soon spotted two kobolds, crouched low and cloaked in ragged furs. Bone charms and painted faces were their most prominent features. They looked shamanic, alright.

“Move aside and no one gets hurt!” the knight warned.

Two more kobolds emerged.

Then five.

“You won’t intimidate us with numbers! We are bona fide adventur—!”

Another ten spilled out of the brush.

The knight paused. “Oh, my big fat mouth.”

Then the biggest one stepped forward. Robes. Staff lined with various animal skulls. And a finger pointed directly at the carriage.

I mean, the fact they weren’t attacking immediately was something, right? Maybe they could be reasoned with...

Then I noticed what they were wearing. And the surroundings they came from.

There were carvings. Drapes. Painted stones. Moss-covered arches. Ceremonial stuff everywhere.

Oh god. We were interrupting something sacred. That was my guess, anyway.

How were we going to justify ourselves now? The utter disrespect was untenable—wait. 

Negotiation! The whole reason I was put here by Malmagos!

“…So which one of us wants to make the first move?” the knight continued.

We only heard more growling. 

I really, really wished the knight would just shut up already.

Then the mage stepped forward, energy crackling at her wrist. A sigil of symbols flared to life, rotating mid-air.

Is that what magic looks like?

As much as I wanted to see it in action, I also wanted to keep existing.

If I was going to do something, it had to be now.

I jumped out of the carriage, nearly slipping.

Barefoot in snow tended to have that effect. Being an Crystal Elf, apparently, meant no frostbite. Lucky me.

“Can we all calm down?!” I shouted.

“Kid, what are you doing?!” the knight yelled. “Get back in here!”

“Cotter!” Even Daisy sounded alarmed. She didn’t believe in what I was about to do.

I held my ground anyway. I will not stand and do nothing on the sidelines again. I will not waste my second chance just to cower and potentially fail. If I die now, so be it.

“Practicing the first rule of stakeholder engagement.” I took a deep breath. “To have success, you’ve got to meet people where they’re at.”

Let’s see their response to an ancient, eldritch technique known only to the Overworked Salaryman!