After We Succeed

A screeching echo erupted within the cabin.

My eyes flickered as they opened to see what was the cause of the eerie noise, soon realising that it was Ren who had re-entered the room. The screech was from a squeaking panel on the floor Ren had walked over, and the harsh noise it exerted was exaggerated due to me having just woken up.

Ren made an awkward face as I turned over to look at him, his index finger and thumbs touching one another as he appeared to be trying to creep around the room.

“Sorry, Taro. Did I wake you?”

Rubbing my eyes, I shook my head even though he evidently had. My whole body felt stiff, so I began to stretch. The light coming from the nearby window hadn’t changed, leaving me confused as to how long I had slept.

“Ren, how long was I sleeping for?”

Ren glanced at me, shrugging his shoulders and thinking about what to say. “Ummmm…There isn’t a clock of anything, but if I had to guess, maybe around three to four hours. Five at the absolute maximum.”

No wonder I didn’t feel very well replenished.

“How are you feeling, anyway?”

“Pretty good. The rest really helped,” I lied again.

I scanned the room, not really knowing what I was looking for. I opened and closed my mouth, smacking my lips in an attempt to moisten them.

“I think I’m thirsty, Ren. Do we have any water?”

“Water? What are you talking about?” Ren replied as he laughed. “We may need sleep but we haven’t needed food or water since we got here. It’s one of the mysteries of the game, I suppose.”

“But I feel thirsty.” I dropped backwards into the bed, falling onto my back and gazing up at the plain ceiling.

“I think your mind is just playing tricks on you. Once we get moving you’ll wake up properly and will feel fine.”

I didn’t respond to Ren, instead choosing to stare blankly at the ceiling above. I breathed heavily through my mouth, seemingly drifting into yet another trance.

However, before I succumbed to my dreams and my eyes closed shut, the bed jolted, and the covers flew into the air before rapidly bringing themselves down in one, speedy motion.

“You don’t mind if I take a little break in here now, do you?” Ren playfully whispered as he repositioned himself.

“No, of course not.”

I was too weak to turn over to Ren, but if I moved my right eye far enough to the side, I could just about see him.

Ren stopped moving, and having side-eyed him, I could see he had copied my lying position. We both lay on our backs, staring upwards at nothing. Neither of us said anything for a while, until Ren found the courage to speak.

“It feels like old times, doesn’t it? I can’t remember the last time we shared a bed without fighting.”

I couldn’t think of anything to say. Ren seemingly couldn’t either, but the sniffling noise from his nose suggested he really wanted to.

“Do you ever wish that you could be a child again? You know, so you can have mum and dad do the simple things for you. Like tucking you into bed. Something so simple anyone could realistically do it, but when they did, it felt special.”

I half-smiled, somewhat finding Ren’s words amusing but heart-warming at the same time. “I guess it would be nice if I got to have that experience again.”

Silence struck once again.

I controlled my breathing so it wasn’t too loud and closed my eyes to minimise the awkwardness I was feeling. This time, I wasn’t trying to sleep. Either way, Ren wasn’t going to let me, the awkwardness clearly being something he couldn’t handle.

I could tell there was a conversation he wanted to have. He finally said something that let it begin.

“So, what’s next? What are you gonna do once we go back to the real world?”

I could hear his body turning onto its side, his hot breaths tickling the side of my neck as I pondered.

“I don’t know.”

“Well, I think I’m going to try and be a bit more like you.”

“Like me?”

“Not necessarily all nerdy and the know-it-all kind, though. I mean I’ll start taking things a bit more seriously. You know, using my initiative with more things and taking control of my life a little.” Ren cleared his throat. “Even I’m surprised how much I can get done if I put my mind to it, eh Taro?”

I made a light noise of affirmation, still opting to look up rather than at him.

“Though I know everything about this game, this experience has shown me that there’s potential within me that I need to explore. Even if that means working as a manager at a supermarket or something, it’s better than lounging around and doing nothing else. What do you think?”

“I–I think you’re right. You’ve been a great leader this whole time. And—”

“Anyway, enough about me. I want to hear what you’re gonna do. So…?”

I paused, took a deep breath…and then another deep breath. Several thoughts crossed my mind, but I struggled to pull them together and think of something coherent to say.

I had stalled long enough, and so I forced myself to talk, knowing that what I truly wanted would inevitably come out at some point.

“Probably go back to— No. I think I’ll try to reinvent myself a little.”

“What do you mean, Taro? Reinvent yourself how?”

“Well— This whole experience…I think…has taught me something about myself—and my relationship with not only you, but with Junpei as well.”

Ren once again repositioned himself, getting comfortable in anticipation of what I was about to say. It was without a doubt that he was excited to finally hear me talk about something he actually cared about.

“I realised I had neglected you both so much in recent years, I didn’t know much about either of you. For example, you’re my brother, and I didn’t even know what your favourite game was, despite one of your biggest personality traits being that you are a gamer.”

“That’s not that bad, I guess,” Ren said reassuringly.

“It is. That’s a simple thing I should be able to tell people if they ask me a question like that.”

Ren didn’t respond this time, so I guessed he was waiting for me to continue.

“I’m thinking of trying to become more sociable and friendly. It may mean dropping a little focus on my studies, but, in reality, am I really good enough if I can’t balance my real life with that long and boring slop?”

I glanced at Ren with my right-eye, knowing that was some juicy news. His face creased a little, displaying a face of both confusion and disapproval. Yet he didn’t interrupt.

“I’ve accepted that, if I don’t get the big job I wanted, I can settle for something smaller. It’ll still be good, just not the best. And I think I’m fine with that. If it means—”

“No, Taro. You can’t do that.” Ren sat up and invaded my sight, forcing me to look at him. He looked rather sad, almost as though he felt sorry for me.

“You can’t give up on that dream. Yes, you’re right in saying you should do all of those things, but that doesn’t mean throwing all that you have worked so hard for away. We’d all love it if you spent more time with us, but we also understand your dedication. We all hope you succeed, because there’s no one else I know who deserves more.”

My eyes remained fixated on Ren. Who knew he could be so wise? I hadn’t listened to anyone like this in so long.

“Don’t let all of your endless years of hard work go to waste. Taro, you may be the anomaly in our family, but that’s a good thing. You’ll be able to claw yourself out of poverty if you follow the path you have made for yourself. Please, don’t pass up on it.”

Ren’s face turned red out of embarrassment. I could tell his emotions were building up too greatly inside of him, so he needed to do what I had done sometime earlier — he needed to diffuse the situation with an unprecedented joke. Which he did, very finely as well.

“And besides, wouldn’t it be great to have a rich brother you can ask for money from?”

I kissed my teeth instead of laughing, taking note of his comedic remark.

Ren leapt off of the bed and returned to his usual self.

“I’m only giving you five more minutes and then we’re off, okay? I’m getting bored waiting around now.”

I wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to get more rest, so I lay down for precisely five more minutes until Ren dragged me out of the bed.