Episode 10: Tears in the darkness

The night had already fallen. Taro was in his room being treated by sister Sunny, sometimes he could see Ari walking across the hallway, apparently checking out if he was free, but when sister Sunny left to go treat the next patient, Ari didn’t appear again

Taro: (she’s taking her time, hmm, the Healing Grace relaxed me too much, I might end up falling asleep… but I promised Ari I would talk with her, I can’t… fall asleep…)

Taro did indeed, despite his resistance, fall asleep

The tune of sleep could be heard across the church, it was time for everyone to rest. and since the priests were very strict about sticking to the routine of the flute, Ari had to comply and go to bed as well, but she could only roll around in bed and in her thoughts

Ari: (I guess I’ll have to wait until everyone has fallen asleep. it’s so strange that I’m doing all this, only to talk to him, but he’s the only one who would listen and not poke fun at me or tell me to toughen up…)

*------------------------------------------------

Ari started remembering the time she found Taro punching a tree near the entrance of the forest

Ari: What are you doing brute? trees are not ticklish y’know

Taro: waah! Ari, I, uhh, not tickles, I uhh (on second thought, perhaps saying I was trying to tickle the tree may be easier, rather than trying to explain that I was trying to discover my hidden secret power and blast the tree away. I’m too old to be doing these kinds of things)

Ari: you were trying to defeat the tree?, doing it barehanded with no mana enhancement won’t get you anywhere, you have to breathe in, and hit it, like this!

Ari punched a wide dent in the tree, a rather disappointing result for her, considering she also bruised her hand

Ari: (here’s when I get made fun of for not making a hole in it, and if someone were to see my hand, they’d also tell me I'm not strong enough. if only they would give it a shot, it’s not as easy as it looks)

however, to Taro, that was a superhuman feat

Taro: woaaah!, very, tough!, Ari, tough! (that was definitely a superpower from another world!)

Ari: huh? oh, hmph!, this is nothing, it's very simple really… though the idiots at the guild would tell me to keep training or something, they’re the worst

Taro: yez, I no like, they, idiotz

Ari: and they laugh at everything, can't they take their job seriously for once?, I know we don’t have many threats around here, but a determined enemy could be stalking for days, and would attack when we’re distracted, they put everyone at risk you know?

Taro: yez, scary, idiotz uhh drink, enemi, atak

Ari: you get it!, finally someone with common sense

more memories flooded Ari after that one, they were memories of times when she was laughed at and dismissed by the guards and people at the guild

some guard: if you’re that uptight about the protocols, perhaps you should become the guild master, ah, but you’re not strong enough, you gotta catch up quickly if you wanna talk big

guild guy: calm down girl, I’ve seen people defeat boars like those without help hehehe

guild secretary: Shizuka did what?, what happened Ari?, I thought that was your game

Shizuka: You're so uptight, perhaps you should be a priestess instead? hehe

even her father was unamused with her in her proudest moments

Ari’s father: Ari, stop this, I already told you I would protect everyone, this is not what I want for you, be a good girl and live peacefully

to top it all off, she remembered when she cried out of frustration alone next to a river, and when she went to wash her face, she saw in the reflection something she didn’t like

Ari: I look… pathetic

—----------------------------*

Ari: (can they just… say something nice for once?, I feel like I'm gonna break at any moment. at least Taro wouldn’t laugh at me if I did…)

unable to hold her feelings much longer, Ari stood up and headed for Taro’s room, she could barely contain her face of sadness and her heavy tears, but she didn’t care anymore

Shizuka woke up gasping for air and covered in cold sweat, the nightmare was over, but the images passing through her eyes kept terrorizing her

*---------------------------------

doctor: I’m afraid not, the damage to your cervicals was too severe, you’re gonna need surgery, but we gotta wait for the neurosurgeon because it's a very complicated procedure, and even if everything goes well, you’ll still have to refrain from doing many things, that includes of course, gymnastics

familiar lady: but we can’t afford a neurosurgeon!, is there any other way?

doctor: I’m sorry, that’s the only way, otherwise, she’ll have to be in a wheelchair for the rest of her life. be glad she didn’t die

Shizuka saw herself in a hospital bed, days and nights blended into one, she had to be fed, cleaned, moved, because her body could not listen to her, she was trapped in it from the neck down. Every time the familiar lady came to visit, she looked worse and worse. Every day, Shizuka wanted to scream, but the hospital demanded silence

—---------------------------*

she could still feel the memory of her neck pain, the feeling of claustrophobic immobility, she jolted out of her bed, running towards Taro’s room

she was gasping heavily, tears already rolling down her face, she saw a silhouette in the dark in front of Taro’s door, she felt hopeful that he was right there, but he was not, instead, it was Ari, but it didn’t matter anymore, she was too terrified to get to choose, she ran towards Ari, hugged her, and let her crying loose

Ari: (what is going on?, Shizuka? why is she here?, Sidra told me earlier that she talked with her, but I didn't think she would be that regretful. she’s crying this much, because of me?, the uptight, annoying, second class, pathetic girl?...)

Ari could not hold it in anymore and started crying and hugging Shizuka as well. They were sobbing and whimpering in a volume low enough to not draw any attention, but it woke Taro nonetheless. He started eavesdropping from the other side of the door

Shizuka: sorry Ari, I just couldn’t take it anymore, sorry for burdening you with this, I’m just so scared

Ari: huh? burdening me? w-what do you mean?

Shizuka: I’ve only ever told Taro about this, but I’ve been having these terrible nightmares, I just had one, and I… it’s just too much, I'm scared, I'm scared!

Ari: stood in silence there for a while, realizing Shizuka was not apologizing or anything of the sort, it was all a misunderstanding. Shizuka was shaking, and her voice as well

Shizuka: I saw what happened to me, before being transported here, something terrible happened. I could not move anymore, I burdened my family, I don’t want to go back, I don’t wanna be that sad person I saw, I want to be free, run, jump, I want to joke around and be free!, but… what if I return to how I was? what if I recover my memories and I lose my ability to move again?, I don't want that. every time I’m about to have those dreams, I feel weird during the day, I try to stave it away by being silly, but it’s not working anymore, it’s not working

Ari, and Taro from behind the door, now had a better understanding of why Shizuka was the way she was. Ari felt pathetic, for thinking Shizuka was apologizing, for comparing her “little” reason to be sad with Shizuka’s tragic past

Shizuka: thank you for listening to me, I'm kinda feeling better now. Why did you cry though?, I’m a little confused

Ari: “why did I cry?” you ask... I guess it’s my turn to be listened to then

Ari took a deep breath, like she was preparing to enhance herself, because she was about to show herself at her lowest, even if she couldn’t keep her voice from cracking or shaking

Ari: I'm crying because…because I'm pathetic!. Everything I do amounts to nothing, it’s never enough, I trained and studied so hard, yet the one who takes all the praise and all the nice words… is you!, you’re the genius, you can defeat monster boars all by yourself… you can beat me even when the snotter has you weak, its…its always you, and you gotta rub it in every day with your little jabs, everyone in the guild does the same, even my dad… what am I supposed to do?, I thought I was doing things right, yet everything turns so wrong. I probably look so ugly and pathetic right now…

Shizuka forgot her fear and processed all what Ari said, it was a huge surprise to her, and for Taro as well

Shizuka: I didn’t know you felt that way, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was making you feel like that

Ari: of course you didn’t, you’re too busy at the top, basking in all the good things, while I… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to lash out at you right after you opened up to me, I just did what the others always do, I’m the worst aren’t I?

Shizuka: it’s okay, I guess we can call it even– no, we’re both going through it, and I just made it worse for you, I never wanted to hurt my best friend

Ari: best friend?

Shizuka: Perhaps you don’t see me like that, but to me, well… When the guild adopted me, it was scary, I didn’t know anyone, but you talked to me, you taught me so many things, and I had so much fun together with you. well, I guess I was the only one having fun, I was too deep in my head to realize

Ari: …I had fun too, though you’re a bit too much sometimes

Shizuka: I’ll try to do better hehe

Ari: you can also um, you can also count on me, next time you have another nightmare

both girls’ giggles mixed with their tears, and then they were put on the literal spotlight

Sidra: what in the goddess grace is going on here? are you two fighting again?

Ari: no no, sorry, it’s just… we thought we saw a radon and it startled us

Sidra: a radon?, hmm, I thought we took take care of that, but then again, it happened before I left. so you’ve made peace with each other already?

Ari and Shizuka: yes

Sidra: Blessed be the sight. want to accompany me the kitchen? I’ll make some tea, I can’t sleep either

the 4 girls headed to the kitchen, and both Taro, and Nagye, who had also been eavesdropping with her remote vision bird, sighed in relief