My Sins

The war was over Germany and Japan had surrendered. I should be celebrating our victory but instead I was a shell of the man I was before coming to this damned battlefield. I was on a flight home to my wife and son but instead of being excited to play ball, go out or even just simply have a family cookout.

I was dreading living, the things I experienced, the battles I survived. The sons that wont be going home to their mothers.

“Still sulking I see Darius.” A deep familiar voice hit my ears, it was Robert my best friend and comrade. “You still never mind yours I see.” I said sarcastically and before long we bursted out laughing before shaking hands.

“Take a seat Robert!” My hand patted against the empty seat next to me.

“What troubles you boy?” He took a seat and place his hand on my shoulder, his words were full of concern. “I can’t sleep robert without having nightmares of the things we saw, the things we did and the people who won’t be able to say goodbye to their families.” I signaled over the flight attendant to bring me a whiskey.

“I know what you mean, when I sleep… I see the attack on Normandy the kid who was afraid to die but we killed him anyways..” Robert had a torn expression of guilt. “No one truly understands the cost of war that isn’t paid with cash or resources. The cost is your soul..”

After a moment of silence we drank in silence reminiscing on the sins we committed.

Darius 44th birthday three years later

It was a hot July day, my wife had went above and beyond to get everyone to come out for my birthday.

Tamika Brown the most beautiful woman a man could ask for and honestly I am just happy to have made it to 44 years old with them. My son Julian Brown was coming up on highschool graduation soon, and we were soon to be blessed with a newborn daughter.

I had thought about naming it after her but Tamika had this thing against making juniors. In the end we settled on Angel Brown, she was expected to be due next month on the 18th.

“Whats up brotha!” An overly energetic voice hit my ears but I knew who it was immediately. Robert and King emerged from the kitchen holding bags.

“Well I’ll be damned is that a bottle of donnies?” I studied the bag seeing liquor, chips, aluminum foil and under it was three trays of food. “Hell yeah we getting wasted tonight and waking up like there was no work tomorrow!!”

King has always had a drinking problem but he is a good guy. Robert was always down and I can tell this time is no different seeing the smirk break out of his face. This was basically my day so why not. We got drunk, we danced and played loud music while dancing.

It was around 2 Am when everyone finally decided to head home.

I was thankfully coming down from my buzz now my head was just fuzzy. Julian was asleep and Tamika was waiting upstairs, after spending 20 minutes cleaning up I was gonna just go to the room.

That’s when I heard what sounded like glass shattering from our kitchen sliding glass door. In came running two men in with their hoods on.

Before I could process I ducked behind the couch as they started ransacking my living room looking for valuables.

My original intention was just to let them grab some stuff and go. After I would just report this to the police but then they started heading towards Tamikas room. Without really thinking I rushed at the closest guy near the stairs, grabbing him by the neck and wrapping my arm around it I looked the other guy in the face who was full of panic.

“TAMIKA CALL THE COPS!!” I screamed loudly before pressing all my weight forward like a bull charging and ran him into his partner.

BANG BANG a couple shots went off, I kept going without even realizing what had happened. Before I even knew I started feeling really cold. Cold and light.

“LETS GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE BEFORE THE COPS SHOW UP. “ The two burglars ran out the way they came bickering and arguing and in my confidence I turned to see Tamika with an expression so spooked, it was like she peered into deaths eyes and lost everything.

“W-whats wrong baby..” realizing it was hard to speak I looked down. oh fuck “…”

Two bullet had hit me in the stomach, and I was now reduced to a shivering bloody messy while my wife screamed into my chest. Soon followed by my freshly woken son too scared and shocked to do anything.

“H-hey Tammy if this.. if this is where I die there is one thing I would like to say…” my weakening voice struggled to get out as everything slowly began to fade, but oddly enough the cold feeling slowly was becoming a warm comfy feeling.

“I love you, and I-I am so happy to have been able to marry you… Julian you protect your mother okay. Most importantly love each other and remember I was happy to have you both!” With those faint but firm words, I extended my shaky hand drenched in my own blood and held her face for the final time.

Thats how my life ended on earth, in an instant everything I had worked so hard for was gone in an instant. I had thought about the pointlessness in everything now that death had taken me, but strangely enough I had no regrets because I lived my life the way I had wanted to from the start.

It wasn’t long after that, or was it? Has it been seconds after I died or was it days, months or even years? Just as I felt myself beginning to fade my consciousness pulled itself back together and soon a door was before me. It was just a large golden door with the word “Judgement” carved into it.

“Go be judged for your sins and then you shall experience whatever our Goddess has in mind.” An ethereal voice rung in my ears, tempting me to walk through the doors. Curiosity? Temptation? What was the difference at this point?

Another emotion run over me in that moment defiance! I stopped and decided to turn around, what would happen if I tried to go back to them! One step. Two steps.

Marching forward I tried to run back.

“HALT!” The ethereal voice felt like it was grasping my entire being, all of my control was lost. Soon from the endless darkness emerged a creature unlike anything i have ever seen.

It had a pure black color of multiple intersecting lines similar to a bunch of metal strips overlapping each other, thousands of eyes stared in all directions and at its center was a black orb with a giant eye that was locked onto me.

“Darius Brown you will go through the door and face your after life, if this warning is not heeded the only thing awaiting you is eternal suffering!” The voice I was hearing before seemed to emit from that creature.

Fear? Dread? What is it that this creature is invoking on me?

All I knew was that it overtook my curiosity and determination as I turned back to the door and stepped through it.

“Darius Brown former soldier and father face your own life.” The voices ringing began to fade after this sentence before I was thrown through what seemed to be all my memories.

It was like an unwinding tape going at speed I could not understand but for some reason all my life was replayed over and over again but it focused on the moments that shaped me.

Back in the trenches leading so many of my to their deaths and being the one who has to tell their families. The faces of the kids sent to fight on the front lines as they bled to death writhing in agony. All these terrible memories.

Guilt? Loathing? Hatred?

There was also her the wife who was my childhood sweetheart since the 7th grade. Me and Tamika spent our whole lives together and made a beautiful family. Even with our country against us we managed to enjoy our lives on the terms we set.

Joy? Happiness? Fulfillment?

After what felt like an eternity but was probably only a few seconds? I arrived at what seemed to be deep space. I was surrounded by boundless stars, galaxies and branching pathways. At the center of it all was a glowing figure.

It took the appearance of an alluring woman. A goddess perhaps? A demon waiting for me to fall into temptation?

“No need for fear lost soul. I am Ruhan(Ruu-han)most refer to me as Ruh.” Her smile was natural with no malice. For some reason her presence calmed my thoughts, could it have been the golden eyes that showed only compassion in its gaze or the pure gold glowing skin that radiated an angelic aura.

She wore no clothes so everything was just out in the open but she was truly a being of the divine.

“Darius I will keep this simple for you, you may call me God in your religions on earth. I am the almighty and the all seeing.” She waved her hand as a new door appeared from nothing.

“You will soon embark on a journey with all your previous memories for you have been judged worthy of a second life and a bonus wish” she then suddenly appeared beside me her compassionate expression twisted into that of ecstasy.

“Umm are you excited right now?” I gazed into her eyes as she danced around me as if evaluating my soul.

“Yes I am most curious what a selfish human could decide to wish for!” She was barely holding her insane laughter. Before long she sat on a throne she had just conjured up with her legs crossed waiting for my reply.

I let out a small chuckle as if relief had hit my body. “My wish is not really that selfish or anything that crazy I just want my family to live their remaining days in peace!”

The goddess looked shocked before settling on a normal smile “you are one of those pure souls even after all you have been through.”

“How interesting, well consider it done and now its time for you to go to the next world young man!” Her face back on that twisted grin but before being allowed any further questions I suddenly started falling into pure darkness and feeling my consciousness fading once again.

That was how I died, met the goddess of our universe and was sent to be reincarnated!