A Strange Place

I was underwater.

When I opened my eyes, I was naked, in the dark, and swimming. I struggled back and forth, but before I realized it, I was breathing. It was air. Though I was underwater I was receiving air. It was through… a tube? It was definitely a tube of some kind.

With that, I relaxed.

“Luxen!” someone shouted.

Green crystals shined across the room, illuminating the place whole. It was a laboratory of some kind, but different from any that I had seen before. It had wooden tables, strange diagrams on old, wrinkly paper, and severed organs all contained in jars.

I kicked around the water, smashing my feet against the glass.

It was then that I realized that I was inside a cylindrical water tank.

“Ira wonox dorag za sur ira ya…” went someone on the other side.

It was an old, hunchbacked man in cloak and robe, walking about with a staff, and wearing a glass eye glowing with some runic mark. He had a grave and deep voice, contorted with a nasal undertone. I did not understand his language, but he sounded sickly… and his skin, it seemed practically rotten, as though it was ready to fall from his face at any moment.

“Sybille!” shouted the man.

Another person entered a room. This time, it was a young woman. She was wearing a black robe as well, but hers was in far better state, and in addition, she had a pointy hat, not unlike that of a witch. She also had black hair and blue eyes, from what I could tell through the distorted view.

“Ira un ka,” said the woman, waving her hand around. Light sparkled from her fingertip. “Allar zu wallen! Grant Speech!”

A strange light shone from my body. In that moment, I felt something just click in my head. 

“Well?” said the old man. “Do you now understand us, you vagrant?”

I understood everything. Whatever language that he was speaking, I understood it, even if I had never heard it before in my life.

“Mhh…”

I tried to speak, but the tube was still rammed down into my throat. I grabbed it, trying to pull it out, but couldn't. It was tied to the back of my head with rope as well.

“Are you trying to drown yourself?” said the old man. “After I went through all the trouble of having you healed. Do you understand now? You are inside a healing vat. When we found you in the mountains, you were all mushed like paste, so I put you in this thing to have you all healed up. How is it? Can you move well? Does it hurt at all?”

Ah. I see. So, it was like a healing pod?

I relaxed my body and inspected myself. It did not hurt at all. Whatever had happened, I was not hurt an inch. Not my ribs, not my arms, legs, or head. Even my lower back stopped hurting! I even had back my missing teeth! Everything!

I looked at the man with astonishment and nodded.

“Well?” said the man, turning towards the woman.

“It appears that he is saying yes,” said the woman. “What do you think, Master Croghan? Could he be a good candidate for the enhancement program? Otherworlder bodies have rarely survived long in this world because of the influx of mana, but the enhancement program does sound like a promising solution. I know some otherworlders have some compatibility and can survive for a time… but I already analyzed this one’s body. For him, the environment is toxic. He will not survive outside the vat.”

Wait what? I thought. I am stuck inside the healing pod, then?

The old man, presumably named Croghan, shook his head, and cackled.

“Forget the enhancement program,” he said. “The one behind it is a moron. Last I heard, his last test subject turned into a goblin. A goblin! And I told him, you have to go analyze the formula again, but did he listen? No! And I will not let such a disaster repeat itself under my watch again.”

The apprentice, Sybille, tilted her head.

“But then what, Master Croghan?” she said. “We cannot leave this otherworlder in the vat forever. Mutations will occur! He could even turn into a slime!”

No, no, no, no, no!

The old man’s eyes suddenly sparked open, as though blessed with a miraculous idea. He smiled.

“I know!” said Croghan. “We are putting this one into a golem’s body. Prepare the soul extractor!”

Apprentice Sybille dropped her notebook.

“The soul extractor?!” she said. “But it has never been tested! Also, the rebound effect would…”

“Bah!” said Master Croghan. “Have you forgotten who I am? Forget about the rebound effect! We have to get this test subject prepared before vat mutations occur. We will check on his body later… without a soul to be corrupted, it should be able to survive indefinitely in the vat without any mutations.”

Sybille gulped and placed her hand against her chest.

She walked towards my vat and put her hand on the glass as she peered into her eyes.

“I should ask you too,” said Sybille. “Do we have your permission for this? It… might hurt.”

I weighed my options.

I could walk out and probably die. I could say no and turn into a goo. To be honest, all these options sucked, but maybe… the golem thing was my best option.

So, I nodded.

“Bulurubrurburburb,” I said, trying to communicate a yes.

***

And so, I woke up as a rock the next day.

I was cemented into the ground and the storeroom wall, with my back against the wall, and legs into the floor. I did not, however, had any soft bits anymore. From head to toe, from heart to skin, all rock. I was a large one, too.

So, there I was. A golem. I was a pile of moving fat cylinders without a working mouth or nose, but hey, at least I didn’t have to worry about rent anymore. And hey, now I had a tiny spider friend keeping me company. I had even given it a name.

“You know, Marshall,” I said. “Maybe I should have asked to get turned into a bird… Yeah, that would have been nice.”

I groaned my woes to the air and feigned a sigh. My voice was like a drum, echoing. It was an artificial one, however. I did not have any lungs. Maybe, just maybe, I should have told that little bird no, after all…

As I was lost in my thoughts, the door to the room opened.

“Pardon the state we left you in,” said Master Croghan. “You were trashing about quite a bit during the process. Well, how is it? Do you feel strong?”

I mimicked a groan with my artificial voice.

“I feel like a rock,” I responded.

Master Croghan chuckled.

“Well, isn’t that true?” he said. “What do you think, Sybille?”

He glanced at his apprentice.

Sybille held her hands against her chest and looked away. She had red marks under her eyes, almost certainly those of tears.

I’m sorry, she muttered under her breath.

“Ah, no matter,” said Master Croghan. “Well, I think it is time we test you out. Sybille!”

Sybille snapped open her eyes and turned towards her teacher.

“Yes, Master Croghan?” she said.

“Release him.”

“… On it.”

She latched her staff off from her back and let its bottom tap into the ground twice.

“Matter, space, time,” she chanted, closing her eyes. “Turn this into what it once was. Restoration!”

The cement around my limbs disintegrated. With that, I could twirl about my ankles and my wrists.

“Come now, stand up,” said Master Croghan. “We have much testing to do.”

I imitated another groan and climbed up my feet. With a heavy, round body like this, it was difficult to move around.

Master Croghan walked out of the room, limping forth with the help of his staff.

Sybille stayed right there with me, until the Master was gone.

“So…” she said. “You don’t remember anything, right?”

I tilted my head up.

“I remember a bit,” he said. “I was an office worker in my other life, but… hmm, I do not remember a lot about it. Oh, I ate a sandwich that one time. My previous life was not so remarkable as to be remembered very well.”

Sybille’s eyes went wide with amazement.

“Is… is that so?” she said.

I tried to nod, but with that bulky thing I called a head, it was difficult to do. Moving anything in my body took colossal effort.

“Like I’ve said, it was not a very interesting life,” he said. “Now I have a new world to explore, at the least.”

Sybille was struck with silence, and her gaze locked into mine. Through her eyes, I could see what became of me. I was a stone giant towering at well over six feet, and with eyes made out of pure light

“Sybille?” I called her.

Sybille snapped out of it and shook her head.

“It is nothing,” she said. “Let’s take it easy, okay?”

She grabbed my hand and gently guided me out from the room.

“Okay.”