Don’t Take Life Too Seriously; the Princess Might be in Your Tour Group

"And this is the dining hall," Amilia announced, spinning to face her tour group. "This is where we eat breakfast and dinner, and is one of the most important rooms. So don't forget! Of course, I can always show you again if you get lost!" She had more than taken to her self-appointed role of tour guide for the just-arrived Princess Lucial. One might have liked to admonish her, but considering the chateau’s size, a tutorial was probably warranted.

I, of course, walked along in silent boredom, doing my best to stifle my yawns. Most of the house was already known to me, the important places anyway. The only novelty was the young princess herself, a beauty befitting one of her station, with light blue hair tied back in that fancy way of highborn ladies and blue eyes to match. She wore a white dress-like coat... or maybe a coat-like dress? Or whatever. Can hardly blame a guy for not knowing all the fashion trends of high society. It opened in the front with some kind of blouse underneath, at any rate.

"And this... Huff... is the Ballroom." Amilia insisted on opening the door herself, no small feat, since no door in the building weighed less than 100 lb; Tissa lent a covert hand. "This is where all the fancy parties and dancing happen. That last party we had was for Sistilla's 19th birthday, but I think you were here for that." I sometimes wondered if she, too, liked the sound of her voice, like my former enslaver. She never shut up and would seize upon any reason to regale you with endless drivel. One of the reasons I always stayed silent—no need to throw more fuel on the fire.

In contrast, Lady Lucial stood quiet and demure, quite graceful, really. A stark contrast to the official residents of the house. Poised and polite, unlike Amilia; feminine and presumably obedient, unlike Sistilla; sane, unlike Valarina. In fact, the contrast was readily apparent from the moment she first stepped from her pearl-white carriage, less than an hour ago.

"This is the laboratory, but we shouldn't go in. Linglang gets very angry if people go in there, and he doesn't care who he yells at."

"Does he yell at you?" Lucial spoke up, bringing a gloved hand to her mouth.

"Yeah, now I can't hide in here anymore," Amilia's eyes sank. She hid in there? Probably for the best he put an end to that. Seemed like a good place to get injured or worse… Not that I cared.

Along with us were two of Lucial's handmaidens. They came along to acquaint themselves with the chateau’s layout, as familiarity would be essential to waiting on Princess Lucial. In fact, these were the only two handmaidens, the only two servants in total to arrive alongside Lucial. It was disappointing. I guess I expected an entire royal entourage.

"This is the library." My ears perked right up as my mind was pulled from its meandering reverie. Could it be? The mythical hall of tomes I had long since quested for?? As I grounded myself back into the present, I began memorizing landmarks for future expeditions to these hollowed halls. Of course, it occupied a corner on the opposite side of the building in which Amilia roamed. But I had finally found it! Now I just need to invent excuses to visit. "Sistilla says you like books, but too much reading is bad for your eyes." And bad for your ignorance, but we wouldn't want to damage that now, would we?

"Well, this isn't so bad," one of Lucial's handmaids said, looking about with a hand to her chin. "I suppose the selection will do."

"What are you talking about?" Said the other, frowning. "This has to be around three-fourths the size of the one back home, and that's a royal palace."

"I suppose... but we will need to enlarge it after the marriage—"

"It will be fine," Lucial cut in. "I can send for any books that I need or have copies made."

Amillia failed to hide a scowl and was forced to turn away. Such a disdain for learning. Perhaps the forced tutelage soured her on the whole concept of learning. Still, I found such disdain off-putting. Only one reason Amillia was insufferable, a love of ignorance. If she had been the one tempted with the apple, undoubtedly humanity would still be wandering around naked in blissful stupidity.

Amilia was all too happy to continue on her impromptu tour. "Down here is the dungeon, but Papa got angry the last time I went down there, so we can’t go down."

"Guess you didn't do a good job hiding if you got caught," I said, catching me a glare not only from Amillia, but even Lucial gave me the side eye.

"I wasn't hiding..." A crestfallen countenance befell her, and she crossed her arms. "I was trying to visit one of the maids who was down there."

"Oh..." It was my turn to look away, ashamed. That got dark really fast. I didn't ask for any details, and Amilia didn't offer any. Instead, an awkward silence settled over the entire group.

"Achem," Lucial coughed into her fist. "Maybe we should continue the tour?"

"Yes! Let's!" Amilia perked up and led us away, arm swinging. Plenty of rooms and corridors remained to visit, all of which served no other purpose but to exist. Regardless of my distaste for waste, I remained silent for the rest of the house tour. But worry not, for the village trek was still to come.

Amilia was in rare form, for she didn't even consider lunch as she marched us down to the surrounding village, which might have brightened my mood, if not for the formal shoes that never seemed to break in. Turns out they didn’t get any more tolerable along long cobblestone roads. Still, I had never been out of the chateau, and this provided an invaluable opportunity to survey the surrounding area.

What did surprise me, though, was the ease with which we could just stroll on down to the village. I guess there was a group of us, but nobody even batted an eye as we sauntered out the front door.

"So Amillia can just leave the chateau whenever she feels like it?" I put the question to the group.

"Why wouldn't I?" Amilia turned, scrunching her face.

"I don't know... Isn't it dangerous?"

"Not really," Tissa chimed in. "The villagers have a favorable opinion of House Uvald, and I always accompany her, besides."

"Oh, well, I guess it must be nice to live in such peaceful times."

"Was it not peaceful where you're..." My head crooked over, face full of venom. "Oh yeah... sorry."

"Is something wrong?" Lucial asked with a finger, head tilted. Tissa crossed her arms and extended an index finger, trying to subtly point to the collar, but failed. At least she tried.

"Oh..." Lucial put a hand to her mouth and said nothing more.

"Papa bought Olavir for me at the Finfare Fair!" That's Amilia for you, not the least bit subtle and completely oblivious to the mood. I wouldn't waste my ire on her.

Fortunately, the tension broke when an argument between a human and one of those massive hougen arose.

“Damnit, 54! I don't have time to answer another one of your stupid questions!" A man in a floppy cap and workers' clothes tried to walk away, but it didn't seem like the hougen would let the issue rest.

"But if it's a stupid question," the creature droned out, taking at least twice the time to speak as it should. "It should be easy to answer."

"It's not stupid because it's easy to answer! It's stupid because only stupid people would ask it!"

"...Does that mean you can't answer the question?"

"It's too damn hot for your nonsense, 54!" The man began to fan himself with his hat.

"It is hot today, isn't it?" Lucial approached the two arguers. "Maybe I can help a little." I should have paid more attention to Lucial at that moment and less on the hougen. Since the hougen demanded my curiosity, I only noticed halfway through that Lucial had used those magic symbols. Damn, I had been wanting to see that up close, and now I missed it. I was half tempted to ask her to draw it again, but didn't think it would be well received. Regardless, I would get a better demonstration not long after.

After she finished, a strong and undeniable breeze flowed through the floating symbol, almost like a large floor fan. The agitated man relinquished a great deal of his hostility, his arms spread in beatific repose.

"Thank you, m'lady. That is quite literally a breath of fresh air." He gave her a reverent bow. "Don’t see too many scribes down here. Are you visiting the Uvalds?"

"Yes, I will be staying with the Uvalds until... until my marriage," she said, stammering that last bit.

"Marriage, m'lady? To the House Uvalds?” His red face paled. “Might I ask to whom I have the pleasure of addressing?"

"Lucial de Eltroy." The remaining color drained from his face. It would seem he knew who he addressed. I suppose the name of a princess would be well-known. "Now that you have cooled off, would it be too much trouble to answer his question?"

"His question... Oh yes, of course!" He turned back to the hougen. "What was your question again?"

"Where does the water in wells come from? Does the rain fill it?" He asked his question deep and drawn out, paying Lucial and the rest of us little attention. Despite the man's claim, I wouldn’t call it a stupid question.

"Well, it's... Umm..." And it would seem he didn't know.

"It's groundwater," Lucial answered in his stead. "There is water under the ground."

"There is?" The towering hougen looked thoughtful. "How did it get there?"

"Well," she pondered this question. "I suppose it is from the rain."

"So it is filled up by the rain." I was no expert in reading hougen facial expressions—they had a face that reminded me of a frog with massive brow lines—but I thought I saw a showing of pride in his features.

"Lucial," Amillia whined. "Can't you make a sigil to keep us cool as well?"

She gave her a pacifying smile. "Amilia, making a sigil that will follow is very advanced. It is not as simple as recreating this sigil."

"Aww." Her posture slumped.

"But..." Lucial teased. "I happen to be very advanced." She scratched out another one of those "sigils." This time, I got a good look. She somehow drew it with the tip of her pointed index finger—it alone was filed to a point, and I had thought it some kind of bizarre fashion trend. A series of arcane shapes and patterns, drawn with exacting precision, all in the blink of an eye. I was guessing it was some kind of magic language, but that's all I could discern from her sigil.

Despite her speed, this one took considerably longer to construct, but once finished, it followed us around, unlike the previous sigil, which was still blowing by the way. Despite myself, I stared, mesmerized. I had to know how such a feat worked. It seemed like the right moment to ask, but before I could.

"Was that a hougen?" One of the handmaidens asked. "I have never seen one before." What nonsense was she going on about? Hougen are all well and good, but this girl is literally using magic! All else pales in comparison!

"I will admit, I too have only seen them a handful of times," Lucial added.

"I can tell you all about hougen!" Amilia jumped up on a tree stump. Of course, this would be the one subject in which she was an expert. Damnit Amillia! Can't you just shut up so we can inquire about more interesting things?

"They are really big and strong. That is why we use them to do the heavy lifting. And they are really stupid, which is why they let us use them." My eyes popped from their sockets, taken aback by her candor. True enough, I was sure, but that wasn’t the way a ten-year-old thinks. If I had to guess, she was repeating something she heard from someone else. And that someone else was almost certainly Conroy. I felt a small spark of disgust for that man corrupting his daughter. In fact, her entire attitude was likely due to his piss poor parenting. While insufferable, going forward, I would try to refrain from assigning moral blame to this foolish girl. A better man might try to counter his influence. But, as a slave, I had no benevolence to spare for my enslavers. Not so long as this metal ring adorned my neck.