Chapter 36

On the third day, Zarion appeared on the horizon. Selene had told me the fortress was larger than both Akka and Marbug, but nothing could have prepared me for seeing it with my own eyes. It was built on the wide stretch between two rivers, guarding the way to the South, and countless towers rose high into the air. Its walls were built from such massive grey slabs that I couldn’t imagine how they had been moved without using modern technology, and above them, banners in a myriad of colours soared.

Everywhere were signs of war, with fortifications being built at the outskirts. Even though two wide earth walls had already been erected, it didn't look like the work was close to being completed, and from the port, ships of all sizes moved to and fro along the river.

A crew member cried out that the patrol boat that would escort us to the harbour was approaching, and I forced myself to go and stand by the railing. We had decided to enter openly, and Karim said there would be a crowd waiting to greet us. Nothing rallied your allies as much as seeing their Goddess arriving. I glanced nervously at the port, but it was still too far to distinguish them, and instead I straightened my tunic for what must have been the hundredth time that day. At least I had been allowed to choose my clothing, and I’d decided to wear a simple tunic, similar to those the priests in Marbug wore. It made me feel more comfortable, and I didn’t look like the Goddess that the statues portrayed. I shivered at the thought of what hopes the people would put on me if I were dressed that way. A sword hanging from my belt and the aegis resting on my chest completed my outfit.

Selene came up to me, taking my hand.

“It will be okay. You don’t need to do much. Karim will talk to them.”

I tried to focus on her words, but at that moment, my eyes caught sight of the banner flying on our ship, and I almost froze. It was a silver shield surrounded by stars on a dark blue field. The sign of Goddess. My banner. I had seen it once in Akka when Altea gave it to us, but back then, I hadn’t understood the meaning it carried for the people. I forced myself to look ahead, ignoring its flapping that would announce to everyone gathered by the port who was coming.

The small patrol boat made a circle, then gestured for us to follow, and we slowly made our way into port. As we came closer, I could make out the crowd that had gathered to welcome us. It stretched out as far as the eye could see, and maybe I was imagining it, but I thought I could hear them cheering from here. By now, the crew had understood who I was, and I noticed their glances as they passed me, and it didn’t take long before I could hear their whispers.

Soft like a feather…

hard like a steel…

shine like a star….

in the starry sky….

A shiver ran down my spine. I wasn’t who they thought I was. I took a deep breath, clutching the railing. No, I had made my choice. If this was the price for keeping my friends safe, I was willing to pay it.

As we came closer, there was no mistaken the crowd that had gathered. I had already been cheered on by the people in Akka, but this crowd was larger than anything I had ever seen. I wondered for a moment if they expected me to wave, but my hands had frozen into place. The ship came to a slow halt, and a small jolt told me we had docked. I cast a last glance at the crowd cheering below us and then stumbled to follow the others as a wooden ramp was lowered to the port. We halted by it, and Selene gently squeezed my hand, and I had to force myself not to close my eyes. On Karim’s signal, we slowly made our way down and with each step, the crowd cheered louder and louder. A group of officials, surrounded by guards, made their way through the crowd to the ship. They were dressed in fine clothes, their armour gilded with gold and decorated with precious stones, and they halted by the wooden ramp. We made the last distance until we halted before them. They bowed, and an older man stepped forward. He looked almost like Karim, but his hair was grey and his long beard braided.

“Welcome to Zarion, Light Bringer”

He turned to me, and I froze. I knew he wanted me to speak, but my mind was blank, and I had to force myself not to run and hide. Karim saved me and stepped forward, embracing the old man.

“Tarion! May Goddess guide you.”

“Karim...”

The old man smiled.

“I am happy we meet again in the brighter hour”

“So am I.”

Tarion glanced at me.

“So it is true…? I heard the rumours, but didn’t dare to believe.”

“Those are no rumours, my friend.”

Karim turned to the crowd as his voice boomed over the port.

“The sun will rise again!”

The cheer of the crowd made me dizzy, and I was happy I stood between Uruk and Karim to not stumble. Selene stepped forward.

“With Marbug and Akka firmly on our side, the alliance is once again strong. We will stand together once more and retake Tarnis.”

Uruk raised his fist into the air.

“The time has come! Goddess is on our side, and the Lion of Tarnis will lead us to victory once more!”

I felt the anxiety rising in my chest. So this is what they wanted from me. This was what it meant to be their hope, so that people would keep fighting. But I wasn’t her…

I could feel the eyes of the crowd on me, and I forced myself to step forward, and they fell silent. Their hopeful gazes paralysed me with fear, and I felt Aki’s hand slipping into mine. Aki... I must be strong. For her… For Selene… For everyone. So they can be safe. I closed my eyes and clutched her hand, searching for comfort in the connection we shared.

I spoke quietly, but my words seemed to echo against the stone walls of the fortress. Maybe it was my mind playing tricks, or maybe it was Selene’s magic, but I didn't care. I was too anxious to worry about it.

I dispel the darkness

and bring the light.

I don’t regret

walking this path.

As I finished, a cry that could only be described as a war call rose through the crowd. Tarion gestured for us, and, surrounded by the guards, we followed him through the crowd. I stared straight ahead, not daring to meet their eyes. He led us to the fortress, and only when the door closed behind us and silence once again filled my mind, did I notice my hands were trembling.

They led us to our rooms, and I washed off the dust with cold water, but instead of feeling refreshed, it left me feeling even more exhausted. I collapsed on the bed, trying to forget about the hopes I had seen in the eyes of the people. I wasn’t their Goddess. I couldn’t be who they wanted me to be.

I stared at the wall. Was this how Selene felt as the Queen of Lantis? Was this why she wished for something else? She carried her duties proudly, never complaining about it, while I… I had almost failed them.

There was a knock on the door, and Selene walked in.

“Rina…?”

She glanced at me, but I looked away.

“It’s okay, you did well”

I frowned and turned my back to her. She sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed, putting a hand on my shoulder. I tried to shake it off, but she ignored me and began to gently rub my back.

“Relax…”

I let out an involuntary sigh, and the nagging anxiety I had felt since we came here faded.

“It will get easier with time”, she said quietly.

“You know how it is…”

“I do”, she confirmed.

“But I am not her…”

“It doesn’t matter.”

I frowned and turned to her.

“It matters to me.”

“I am sorry”

She turned down her gaze, and I cursed silently. Why did it always have to end like this between us? Whenever I opened my mouth around her, I messed something up. It was easier when we didn’t talk too much and just pretended that what we did was normal. I sighed and reached out, taking her hand.

“I’m sorry…”

She smiled and gently squeezed it.

“Let’s not think about it”

She helped me undress and then lied down next to me on the bed. I put my arm around her and closed my eyes, feeling her warm body against mine.