Help!

I cannot sleep … My heart is almost stinging. Placing my hand in my chest, I can feel it beating so fast and so hard. I cannot keep my mind out of today's events. How are Daniel and José so much better than me? I'm senior here, I should have done more, I should do better.

Although I got most of the fiber and lead the way into making those into strings, José is the one who got most of the food and Daniel get back with lots of bamboo to make a shelter. How did I not focus on getting something for shelter and leave it for the youngest one to take initiative? Was I too lazy to go after something heavier, like the bamboo?

After I invested everything in survival instead of combat, I should've at least been a leader in that front, but I was a complete chump. I didn't even orient the boy, he was very sore and by his clothes tearing he visibly tried to use his body to get some of the bamboo … Poor boy, that isn't how you're supposed to do that, and I knew that … You have to use leverage and snap at the joints …

I died a completely pointless death. Couldn't even mourn my family and was already thrown into a chaotic situation. Lost contact Biel. Was completely useless in combat and then couldn't even show my worth in creating the shelter … 

“Daniel. You can go to sleep. I'll keep watch” 

We trade places unceremoniously. Both of them are now under a bundle of bamboo, tied together by our hand made strings, that we leaned against a nearby tree and above a bunch of the less humid leafs we could find. It took at least two hours to make enough rope, splitting the wood in halves by knocking into trees and against each other and place everything in a good angle.

I pick some of the dry fiber I gathered. Split them in two meshes and twist each with one hand and then twist again, one against the other. 

The night drags on. I work my hands against the fiber, twisting strands into cord, trying to quiet the thoughts gnawing at me. The “skill tree” taught me the technique, but only practice gives it life. Perhaps this is what the system is — not a gift, but a school.

It is good to focus on something else. Before long, there isn't any sign I was ever having an anxiety attack and even start feeling a bit sleepy. I guess I have to power throw for now, keep guard. I imagine which wild animals are there around here, but cannot say I'm very eager to meet them. 

I take note (mentally) that we really have terrible visibility here. We are a bit downhill from the camp. In addition to that, it was pretty inconvenient dealing with the terrain inclination and overall lack of space around here. We'll definitely have to move to a better place tomorrow.

In addition to that, we need better tools. It seems it'd be particularly useful to have means to cut stuff, get more wood with less effort. José was using a sword, so maybe I could borrow his and make some more blades from bamboo. 

I go towards it, trying to not wake up him just yet. He didn't let go of the sword all day and is sleeping embracing it — It might even be dangerous, he could probably get cut. I guess it is better to not risk taking it from him right now. 

Oh, wait. 

I spot José’s knife. Just a knife, but with it, possibilities open.

I'll start splitting a dry bamboo, I kept some dry ones on the side before as it is hard to find anything dry around here.  

This is actually so exciting. It might not be best done right now, but I need to practice and, honestly: I cannot help it.

Unfortunately, as I'm shaving both halves with the knife for a tinder bundle, I guess I made too much noise and José woke up.

“What are you doing with my knife, man? Stealing now?” He grips his sword, uncertain but dangerous.

“No, no, no, José. I'm sorry. Hold this. And watch.”

I hand him the shavings and start to drill a hole on one side of the stalk, to make space for oxygen in the air to participate through, and a notch opposite to it to guide the motion. I use the other half as a support and place it between my tight and a nearby tree.

I start grinding one against the other, the fastest I can. The notch wasn't big enough, it falls twice. 

I take the knife again and make a better notch. 

Once again, the stem against my leg and the fast motion that now is also smooth and continuous. I can see confusion in José's eyes and start feeling the heat and strain on my arms, but I won't stop. 

Finally, smoke. A spark. 

“Quick” I say while standing my hand for the tinder.

There is a smoking black mass inside the hole with a red dot around the center. A fragile ember glowing red, trembling with possibility. I dump it on top of the bamboo shaving and the ember breathes, spreads, and suddenly. 

The popping sound, the smoke, the heat, and the dancing golden plasma dressed in a seductive red that is a sharp reminder of the power of humanity.

“Hahaha, Nice one man!"

We did it. We conquered fire!