Gambling Without Food

“Why the pip do we keep doing this?” Rollnaldo groaned, as he lugged his merch cart up the steep mountain path we were trekking along. His stomach let out a long drawn out growling noise.

“I knew we shouldn’t have wasted the last of my reward points on booze.” I whined, as hunger ate at me as well, while an icy wind sent a shiver down my spine.

Three days had passed since we left Scratcherville and since then, we were yet to find another trace of civilization along our path. To make matters worse, as of yesterday, we crossed out of the mild climate of the Wager Woods and into the cold and rocky Martingale Mountains. Like responsible adults, we should have planned ahead and stocked up on rations and other supplies when we had the chance, but instead we wasted our time partying and gorging ourselves before leaving the next morning with intense hangovers.

The cold air made me put up the hood on my sweatshirt and yank its pullstrings. “How far are we from the next town?”

“No clue.” Rollnaldo shook his head. “This mountain is like a maze. I lost track of where we were hours ago.”

“Wait, are you saying that we’re lost?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“Maybe we should try retracing out ste-”

He abruptly shooshed me mid-sentence. “Shut the pip up for a second. Do you smell that?”

“What are you-?” As I sniffed the air, the scent of cooked food caught my nose. “You’re right, I think it's coming from up ahead.”

The two of us went up the gravel mountain side path until we were met by the source of the smell…

“Is that what I think it is?” I stared at it completely befuddled.

Rollnaldo nodded as he took a big whiff of it. “Yep… Five cheese macaroni with breadcrumbs sprinkled on it and a side of garlic bread.”

In front of us, just sitting in the middle of the road was a neatly prepared meal sitting on a set of fine china. The random dish itself though wasn’t what raised the biggest red flag…

I squinted my eyes suspiciously. “This is obviously either a really bad trap or a prank.”

“Probably, but I’m so hungry that I’m willing to take that risk.” Kneeling down, he got closer to the bowl of mac and cheese that was just beneath a large cardboard box being propped up by a stick.

“Are you sure that's a good idea? What if the food’s poisoned.” I attempted to stop him.

“If this kills me, make sure my ex-wife doesn’t get her grubby hands on any more of my stuff.” Completely disregarding my concerns, he crawled under the box and proceeded to pick up the fork that was set on the plate. Just as he was about to take his first bite, the stick, which seemed to have a fishing line tied around the bottom of it, was yanked and the box fell down on top of him.

A figure suddenly leaped out from the bushes. “Alright, put the money in the bag and nobody gets hur-!...” A girl wearing a green bandana over her face jumped out from behind some large rocks. “...oh, Recruit Number Five, it's you.”

The person ambushing us removed her face covering, revealing none other than Eight, who appeared to have dyed her hair a lime green color from the last time we saw her. She was wearing a puffy black winter coat and a pair of shorts that matched her hair. Underneath those was a pair of black leggings. Despite the cold climate, she was still wearing flip flops.

“What the heck are you doing out here… and I thought I was Recruit Number Four” I looked at her confused.

She held up an empty plastic shopping bag. “Isn’t it obvious, I’m trying to rob unsuspecting travellers. I need to get funding for my organization somehow… Also I decided to demote you for betraying me.”

“Mmmmm. Mmmmmm.” Rollnaldo’s muffled voice emanated from the box.

She flipped the box off of him. “Oh how I’ve missed you recruit number one!”

Sitting on the ground, he was stuffing his face with the macaroni. “I have to say, you might be absolutely bat-pip crazy, but you’re actually a pretty good cook.”

My stomach suddenly rumbled again. “Give me a bite of that.”

“No, you had your chance. This is mine.” He selfishly pulled the plate closer to himself as he took a bite of the garlic bread.

“I was actually planning on tracking the two of you down. I need your help with something.” She interjected in our petty argument.

I let out an arrogant laugh in response. “The twenty-four hour cooldown period is over, so I challenge you to a-.”

“Fine, we'll flip a coin. I pick heads.” She didn’t even give me a chance to finish as she flicked a coin up in the air. It landed. “Oh would you look at that, I didn’t even have to activate my gambling sorcery.” The coin had landed on heads.

“That was even cheaper than last time! You didn’t even give me time to react. I would have definitely activated my gambling sorcery.”

“And I would have activated mine and redid the flip.” From her pocket she pulled a sticker similar to the one from last time and slapped it on to my chest. “Just for that, you’re getting demoted again to Recruit Number Six.”

“You got cocky and underestimated her.” Rollnaldo murmured as he continued eating his food.

I let out a huff. “What is it you need us for.?”

She clapped her hands together. “I’m glad you asked Recruit Number Six. Thanks to both of you getting my bombs confiscated, my super secret domestic terrorist organization has been set back a large sum of money. I got a plan though to recuperate that.”

“And that entails?” I attempted to get her to elaborate.

“I’ll tell you more later, but first we need to get up there.” She pointed upwards toward the peak of the mountain above us.

“We’re supposed to climb that?”

She chuckled. “Of course, how else are we supposed to get up there?”

“Not happening. I’m not about to leave my merch down here unattended.” Rollnaldo protested.

“Don’t worry, Recruit Number One, we’ll just bring it with us.” Eight waived off his concerns.

“You must be crazy if you expect us to drag his entire cart up that mountain.” I retorted.

“My name is Crazy Eight so…” She trailed off as she grabbed something from behind the rocks she was using to hide earlier. “It's easy, we just tie it up nice and snug with this rope and we’ll pull it up behind us as we go… Unless you’d rather leave it here.”

Rollnaldo let out a deep sigh. “Hand me that spool of rope. Let's get this over with.” Taking the rope, he thoroughly tied down all his crates to his cart. From there, he was ready to start our forced ascent up the Martingale Mountains.

Somehow within minutes of reuniting with Eight, she managed to coerce us into climbing a mountain with her. Once again this chick was nothing but trouble…