Episode 19: The naughty child of the goddess

A new busy day has started. Sidra heard the church flute singing the morning tune, she wanted to sleep in, hugged her blanket, but she remembered that's not very priestess-like, and that got her out of bed

Sidra: (I wish I could take the day off. I’m sore, it’s been a while since I did that much exercise, I guess this is but another trial in being a perfect priestess)

Sidra went about her usual routine, which priest guy expected, he was waiting for her and tried to engage in some friendly banter, expecting his relationship with her to grow

priest guy: good morning Sidra, aren’t you a bit late? heh

Sidra: (this guy again, I’m in a terrible mood to pretend to smile at him) good morning, what do you mean? I’m just in time, besides, aren’t you late to your holy tasks? if I remember correctly, you were supposed to cut the grass today

priest guy: huh? me? its Taro who hasn’t gone around to cut it

Sidra: going to blame Taro again?

priest guy: blame Taro?, it’s his fault!, he’s lazy, pretends to be busy all the time, and barely gets anything done!, you and sister Sunny coddle him so much honestly, I would be so much stricter

Sidra: Oh you really think so?... I know what you are

priest guy: huh?! what’s that supposed to mean?

Sidra: you’re lazy, pretend to be busy all the time, and barely get anything done, I think we should be stricter with you honestly

bald priest: hey you two!, stop arguing and get to work, there’s a busy day ahead of us, don’t give sister Sunny more reasons to worry, she’s not feeling well today either

They both disengaged quickly and went to do their chores.

Sidra: (why did I have to lash out at him like that?, he didn’t do anything to me… it’s just that I really can't stand bullies, always pestering others…)

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a memory came to Sidra, when she was a kid

little kid: why did you do that?, I didn't do anything to you!

little Sidra: “whi did yi di dit” pfff, weak people are so boring. What are you gonna do about it? cry?, cry then, because you’re too weak to do anything

taller kid: what are you doing to my little brother?! mess when someone your size you bully!

a fight broke out and in the end, Sidra got yelled at for getting into fights again, her parents even had to go through the embarrassing process of apologizing to the other kids’ parents

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Sidra: (I hate them… because they remind me of me…)

Sidra proceeded to overcompensate her lashing out by doing more chores than what she should have

Turt: I'm looking for Sidra, is Sidra here?

bald priest: right this way young man, Sidra is done with her holy tasks, she should be around here, oh, there she is. Sidra, the guild needs you, you must go now

Sidra was just walking out of the drying rooms with a hard brush on each hand, drenched in sweat

Sidra: (great, I forgot I had to go to the training again, and I’m already spent. but this is just another trial in the road of the perfect priestess… I want to take the day off)

Sidra arrived to the guild office, Nagye was already waiting for her

Sidra: (another day of being humiliated by the instructors, on top of that, Nagye is so frail, cant she do anything other than… what in the goddess grace am I thinking?, I must protect her!, protect her from suffering, this time, I will fight… but if I fight, that would mean returning to who I used to be, a bully who despises the defenseless… I don’t want to go back, but I also want to prevent suffering, but to do that—--)

Nagye: S-Sidra? are you ok?

Sidra didn’t notice she was holding her own head like if she had a headache

Sidra: oh, do not worry about me, I just had a bad night of sleep, but with the goddess blessing, this will be no obstacle

Nagye: oh, perhaps with a potion, sa-sadly I didn’t bring the materials with me, s-sorry about that

Sidra: There is no need to apologize (seriously, why?)

Nagye: If there's some way I can help, I-I’ll try my best.

Sidra: (help me?, heh, I wonder if that's possible, to help a priestess, or to help someone like me) ... well, I am curious about something, do you read many storybooks?

Nagye: yes, besides books on mana, they are my favorites

Sidra: Do you know about the story of Kacho?

Nagye: Kacho the Monster?, there’s many versions of the story since the historical origins can’t be pinpointed to uhh, I mean, y-yeah, the stories are usually about Kacho being born a human with something wrong with him since birth, and he does evil all his life to the point that he is considered a monster and hunted down like one. a-are we talking about the same Kacho?

Sidra: yes, that’s him. hmm, there was this class I had at the church, we were discussing the story of Kacho, and if he could be forgiven. the story says that he is pure evil and he won’t change, but, lets imagine a story in which he becomes ashamed of himself and decides to change, and he becomes a force of good

Nagye: th-that would be interesting to read

Sidra: let’s go even further, let’s say Kacho paid for his crimes early, before committing something truly irredeemable, and he becomes ashamed of himself and changes, but then he’s tempted to go back and become who he was in order to protect others, should he go back, or stay on his path of repentance?

Nagye: umm, I-I don’t think he can go back

Sidra: hmm? why is that?

Nagye: if he wants to protect others, and to do so, he must um, become violent or do bad things again, I don’t think it’s the same pure evil Kacho

Sidra: but by going back, wouldn’t it be like if he never really learned his lesson?, like if his path of repentance was a mask he wore and he just took it back off

Nagye: if he were to do bad things just for the sake of being evil, I-I guess that would be like he never really changed, but if he repented and-and he wants to protect others, I don’t think he can “take the mask off”, he is the mask, well, th-that’s the way I see it

Sidra: he is… the mask?

Nagye: s-sorry, didn’t mean to sound pretentious again, I-I guess what I’m trying to say can be summed up by what the poet Parmo said, something along the lines of “you can’t enter the same river twice, and the venai who crosses the same river is not the same one at the other side” ... I just ended up s-sounding even more pretentious, d-didn't I?, sorry

Sidra: hmm, it is a little confusing, but may the goddess grant me understanding (if “Kacho is the mask”, then what am I?, am I the evil Kacho, or the masked Kacho?)

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another memory assaulted Sidra’s mind

one night, she woke up suddenly and she heard her parents talking with a guest downstairs

Sidra’s father: I don't know what we did wrong, we have given her everything

Sidra’s mother: is there a treatment?, we can pay, doesn’t matter the cost, it’ll be the cheaper option in the long run

doctor: I’m afraid some people are simply born like that, like Kacho

Sidra’s mother: please don't say that, it can't be, is she really on her way to becoming a monster?

doctor: knowing where she is heading to, we have time to do whatever it takes to prevent it

Sidra was scared to think that she would become a monster like Kacho, who, in the local folklore, had become an actual dark beast. She went back to her bed and covered her ears to not hear any more of that conversation.

The next morning, when she went downstairs to have breakfast, her parents looked at her with different eyes. It was no longer eyes of disappointment, but of fear, like if they were staring at a little monster. Sidra was terrified at that realization and ran out of the house, looking for a way out of her path of transformation

she saw kids outside, and she wanted to apologize, but they looked at her with distrust and disdain, it felt like the world was against her. That day she promised herself she would change, so people wouldn’t hunt her down.

She found the local church and noticed how priestesses seemed to be liked by everyone, so she decided she would become a priestess. Despite her young age, her parents did not object her decision, and her custody was transferred to the church, where she lived and learned, was transferred to other churches to work or study, until the present, where she was sent all the way to that small town in the middle of nowhere, where nothing happens

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guild master: today you both will participate in the hostile patrol drill again, are you ready?

Sidra flinched, she didn’t notice when the guild master got there

Nagye: t-this time, it will be different

they walked to the starting point, and noticed all the instructor’s eyes on them

Sidra: (doesn’t matter if I’m the evil or the mask, I have a holy duty, and I will fulfill it, to ease and prevent suffering)

Nagye: (I won’t be defenseless again, there’s people depending on me, I can't fail!)

Sidra closed her eyes, and prayed

Sidra: (goddess, forgive me, for your child will have to act naughty today, may your scolding return me to the right path)