Chapter 15 - Balancing Eternity

Verwa stood there, grinning, as everybody surrounded him. I had to use my left arm, because I couldn’t move my other one. He had no way to escape, and no way to attack one of us without another person covering for them.

We had won. Together.

“Haha. Hahaha. Ame~”

Verwa turned his head to the side and stared into Ame’s face. His demeanor was too carefree for somebody that was surrounded.

“AME!”

He yelled in his face as Ame stood there, staring back at him, without as much as a blink. Verwa grinned. He had no right to grin. He didn’t have a reason to either. Ame had no way to lose this.

Verwa began to speak again. And yet this time, Ame wasn't as still.

“Why is it that you mentioned your fathers identity, but not your own?”

Ame flinched.

“Why is it that you haven’t attacked me yet?”

Verwa moved his face closer to Ame’s as he grabbed Ame’s sword and shattered it.

“It’s because you're weak, Ame. That’s why. Look in the mirror and tell me if strength is what you see. Tell me if it’s your father you see, if it's your friends, or if it’s you. But you won’t. You can’t. Because you’re a hypocrite. So, you’ll just keep watching me speak as you do nothing about it! Isn’t that right, Nell?”

Ame was furious yet frozen as he stood there, fists twitching at his sides, unable to do anything as Verwa snatched his gun back and strode over to me.

“I asked you if I was right, Nell. Give me an answer, or you’ll go back to where you came from.”

He was wrong. With every fiber of my being, I believed- No, I knew he was wrong. And yet it was hard to say out loud. The fear caused by staring down the barrel of a gun causes anything that you could say to not come out. I wasn’t told what happened after death. If I ceased to exist or if I went to a different place, I would no longer be able to build my identity. I would no longer be able to be with Ame. And Dominic. And Kaya, and Sy. That was the one thing I wanted the least. And yet, there was no purpose without them. My eyes subconsciously drifted to Ame. I saw him, along with everybody else, standing behind Verwa with weapons pointed so he didn’t shoot.

Ame was clearly distressed. He looked worse than I had ever seen him look before. He was doing this for me. I didn’t deserve any of this. Ame deserved more than me. I knew nothing about value, but I was forced to trust myself at that moment. Ame’s honor was more valuable than my life.

So, I only had one answer and one choice. I smiled softly to the best of my ability. Just like Ame always did.

“No, Verwa. You’re wrong. He’s doing all this for me. He’s not a hypocrite. I don’t even know what that means, but I know that he’s not one. He’s Ame, after all.”

I braced myself for death.

But… It didn’t come. Instead, there was a laugh.

“Haha. Hahahahaha. I understand why now. You’re not a human! Humans don't get born out of flesh balls that the city uses for energy, do they? Humans can’t overpower the fear of death with excuses. How could I expect you to answer this? Anyway, I don’t kill monsters. They will be forced to live with themselves. They don’t have the potential to see themselves like we do. So, you will live. Dominic, you’re up next.”

He walked away from me as he grabbed Dominic by the neck.

“New question, Mr. Maylem. What are those children to you? Children have no place on this battlefield, you shouldn’t have brought them. You don’t even have magic to protect them with.”

He pointed to Kaya and Sy.

Dominic spoke as well as one could speak while being held by the throat.

“What's it to you? You plan on killing me anyway.”

Verwa tightened his grip and stared at Dominic in fury.

“35.”

“...”

“That’s the number of soldiers you’ve slaughtered. 35 of them. What are two children in comparison? They’re nothing. Just another bit of roadkill on the highway that we both drive.”

Dominic looked angrier than I have ever seen him look.

“If you lay a single cell of your body on them, I’ll cut it off cleanly. Then, I’ll stab you in the heart and kill myself. Once we’re both in hell, I’ll kill you again. I will hunt you down until every trace of your existence ceases to exist.”

His grip tightened again.

“Big words, Leader. You’re the only human here worth life. So, I will kill you. Be happy. Whatever family you have will see your head roll.”

Kaya and Sy both rushed at him at the same time, but got launched back with a single hand.

“It’s about time I leave. If you want to watch him die, Ame, come to Jeti City in a week. I’ll be there as the executioner, so there’s no point in not inviting you. I’m enough security for it. And take care of that wound of yours. Take some time to realize how much of a horrible fucking person you are so you can witness the entire city cheer for the death of this terrorist.”

With that, before anybody could run after him, he shot away with wind magic. And nobody said a word. The only two things I could feel in the air were despair and dust.

I was lost. I didn’t know what to do. Dominic would be executed. Ame could help. Ame had to help. He knew how to solve this. He had never failed to solve it before. But he was injured. I had to heal him.

I crawled over to him, and healed the wound on his arm, only for somebody to tug on his shirt.

It was Kaya. Before I could fully heal his wound, Kaya crawled forward and hugged him while sobbing. Ame hugged her back without a single word. He had an incredibly serious look on his face. I had never seen anything like it. I wanted to do the same thing Kaya just did, but I hadn’t known Dominic for that long. I didn’t have the right to.

Within moments, Ame stood up as Kaya stayed clinging to his side. Sy stood there, staring blankly at Kaya. I could only imagine he wanted to do the same thing Kaya was doing as well, but I didn’t know what was stopping him.

“Nell. Get on Little Man. We’re going to east Jeti City.”, Ame said.

All I could do was nod as Kaya and Sy both solemnly walked over. We got on her back as I put the worm on my lap. Ame pointed to the direction we had to go and Little Man started moving. The air was silent until Ame spoke. He tried to cheer everybody up to the best of his ability. We all had a spark of hope, and yet there was not a single piece of kindling in the world that could make it blaze fully. But, Ame still tried to turn it into at least a small flame.

“We’ll go to a town in Jeti. I’ll take this opportunity to investigate Justin Beckwith. You three can do whatever. Stay strong. I’ll do everything I can. I’ll kill whoever. The only reality that matters is the one where all of us live.”

Nobody responded, but Kaya’s expression was less solemn.

Despite being ignored, Ame still managed to smile softly at me.

“Thank you.” I said.

He nodded as everybody went silent.

With extra time, I poured all my leftover energy into healing my arm. I thought I would stay awake, but I miscalculated. I collapsed onto Ame’s lap and passed out. The only thing I heard before I fell asleep was a giggle from the God of Time. I wasn’t sure why she didn’t help earlier. If she helped, none of this would’ve happened. I was too asleep to get angry, but too awake to be content with what I had.

…

______________________________________________________________________________

Inside of Verwa’s designated military base to the east of Jeti City, Dominic sat strapped to a chair with a thin rope. He was able to break out at any moment, but he knew better than to do that. This was because Verwa was standing in front of him, giving a lecture that Dominic didn’t care about.

“That’s why, Leader, Ame should’ve died back then.”

“I’ve heard this before from his own mouth. Also, I’m not the leader. Ame is. I’m a guide.”

Verwa scoffed at him.

“I refuse to admit that man is the leader. You’re a respectable man, despite your race. Why do you follow a person like him?”

Dominic’s demeanor softened, because this was the first question that he felt comfortable to answer.

“I followed him because he was the first person to let me follow him. He laid down the cement for my road. I don’t care where it ends. Because he let me walk it. Kaya, Sy, and now even Nell are all standing on it with me, despite me not having one when I met Ame. That's why I follow him.”

Verwa turned his head to the barred window and stared outside at the busy street.

“I guess a broken clock is right twice a day.”

They both went silent for a moment, before Verwa spoke up again.

“I know a bit of your past. Your time in the Maylem army, your path, and the death of that wor-”

Dominic stared dead into the eyes of Verwa. The ropes around him snapped as he shot up and gripped his neck. Verwa was not concerned. His face was straight. He could still speak, despite being strangled.

“Why do you walk down the path you do, Dominic Karna? You don’t need to exist. You can kill yourself at any time. So, why do you carry your sins with you in that sword?”

Dominic gripped his throat harder and leered at him.

“The reason isn’t something given to you. It’s something you make. That’s what I’ve been told many times. Unlike you, I remember what I’m told.”

Verwa grinned.

“Then remind me.”

Dominic let go of his throat and sat back down on the chair.

“I told you. I’m a guide. That’s the purpose she led me to.”

Verwa held his hand out and cut Dominic’s arms with wind as he sat.

Dominic grit his teeth and looked out the barred window of the tiny room.

With a new strenuous and desperate look on his face, he spoke.

“...What should I do now, Eternal Flame?”

______________________________________________________________________________

My eyes slowly opened as the world around me shifted into one I didn’t know. I was in reality. This was an area I didn’t know, though. I laid down in a bed, staring up at a softly lit hotel room.

I slowly sat up and looked around. I didn’t see anybody. I was immediately reminded of our predicament. Dominic wouldn’t be here to help us.

I got out of bed and slipped my shoes on. I fell asleep so suddenly that I had no choice but to wear my usual clothes. I could only assume that Ame had booked this room and got us to stay here.

I didn’t know where anybody was, so I rushed down the steps into the lobby. I saw Kaya and Sy sitting on the lobby’s couches. Ame was nowhere to be seen.

Kaya seemed to be asleep, with her head hanging over the backrest and her mouth wide open. Sy was lying on his stomach, taking up the rest of the space on the couch while kicking his feet slowly. I was glad they were speaking to each other again.

I walked up to Sy and spoke softly.

“Where is Ame?”

Sy yawned and pointed towards the door.

“He went to look for something… I think. I don’t remember…”

I sat down in the tiny space in between his legs and Kaya. I wanted to go back to sleep and wait for Ame to come back, but I really wanted to spend time with Kaya and Sy. It wasn’t wrong for me to want that.

My thoughts were being corrupted by what Verwa had said to me.

“How’s it feel having your gluttony catch up to you?”

Catch up to me? That was stupid. It was all stupid. I knew that it was a sin. I didn’t want to think that way.

I stood up, only seconds after sitting down.

I turned and spoke to Sy.

“Can we go somewhere?”

He turned to me with stars in his eyes.

At that same time, Kaya’s ears twitched. Her eyes shot open as she ran up to me.

“YES! The commercial district! We can go there!”

I had never heard of this, so I had to quickly piece together the words ‘commercial’ and ‘district’ together in my mind to find the definition.

“I would be happy to go, but we don’t have any money.”

Kaya smirked and pulled out a pile of money held together with rubber bands. I had no clue where she got this money, nor did I care.

I nodded with wide eyes as she dragged me out of the lobby and out into the city.

I didn’t realize it while I was inside, but it was quite late. It was almost pitch black outside, but the city lights, stars and buildings lit up the entire area.

We began to speedwalk past hundreds of people on the sidewalk, until we reached the commercial district. I didn’t know what Kaya was looking for, so I let her drag me around. Every time Kaya saw something she was interested in, she sprinted forward. I had to run to keep up, and Sy had to almost boost himself forward to catch up.

After a while of finding absolutely nothing, I heard a song come through my ears. I didn’t recognize it, but it felt familiar.

“Cloooosee your eyes… look at meee, find youuu, a trueee, reality~”

I felt as if I had heard this before. Before ‘I’ existed. I broke free of Kaya’s grip on my wrist and ran off towards the sound.

“Nell?!”