[23 — Farewell]

Lately… I keep wondering what things would be like if they'd turned out different.

What I'd be like… if that day had never happened.

I remember waking up early to play outside, waiting impatiently for Mom's food.

I miss the stories my sister used to read me before bed, the laughter we shared before getting into trouble, the little pinches she gave me when I stole her stuff, the clingy hugs… even the times we fought for our parents' attention.

Why… did you both have to leave me?

It's been six months since then… but it still feels like yesterday.

When I close my eyes… I can still hear that choir repeating those words.

I see the flames burning…

The smoke rising… and I start to wonder if…

God…

Really exists.

And if He does…

Why did He let that happen?

I don't know. I don't know what to believe anymore.

This little light in my hand… does it really make me a monster?

Fwoosh~

The wind was strong that day.

I climbed up the hill and finally reached the island tree.

The path had been longer than I thought, but since there was only one tree, it wasn't hard to find.

It was taller than I remembered. Looking up, I could barely see the end of it. Its branches cast a cool shade underneath, making it a surprisingly cozy spot.

I knelt behind it and began digging as deep as I could. The little stones slipped under my fingernails, stinging sharply, but I kept going.

Ruru would probably scold me when she saw the dirt all over my body and clothes.

Even my brand-new shoes were caked with mud.

Maybe if I rinsed them off before heading back…

"Phew."

At last, the hole was done.

Even after all that effort, it wasn't very deep.

I'm… really so weak.

I took out the two flowers Ruru had given me and laid them inside.

I still don't know why she bought these for me… but… thank you.

Thank you so much.

"Mom… Saya-nee… how are you doing? Can you hear me?"

I began filling the hole back with earth.

"I'm sorry… for not doing this sooner. I wanted to give you something better. I wanted to recover something from our house. I wanted a keepsake, something I could bury along with the flowers… but… I couldn't."

"I think even if I did… I wouldn't have been able to let it go."

A sharp pebble cut my skin.

"As for me… I've been doing okay. Eating at the right times, sleeping well, studying reading with Ruru… I've been learning a lot of new things."

"…"

"Who's Ruru? She's someone fun. I met her along with Destroyer. Their names sound funny, don't they? Haha… I thought so too."

"They're kind of weird… especially Destroyer. But… they don't feel like bad people…"

My little finger was bleeding.

"These clothes… Ruru gave them to me. Pretty, right? I even tied the ribbon myself. It was tricky at first. I kept losing the end... but after a few tries I got the hang of it."

"What do you think, Saya-nee? You always wanted me to try on these kinds of dresses… I bet you'd like it."

Once the hole was covered, I planted one flower in the soil and laid the others beside it.

No bath in the world would hide all this dirt.

"…I know I shouldn't trust them. And I don't! Not completely."

"But… their eyes. They're nothing like the ones I've seen these past six months. They're… different."

"It's true, I still don't understand them. I don't know who they really are. I don't know why they helped me or what they're planning."

Hm? Why is my nose itching so much?

"Don't worry, Mom. I'm only staying until we reach the capital… after that, I'll leave."

"Even if they asked me to stay… I'd say no."

"I know I'd only get in their way."

"I need to follow my own path…"

My little hands trembled.

"What do I plan to do next? Don't… don't worry about it."

"I've got it all figured out. I know I can keep moving forward. I'm already a big girl, you know?

"I… I…"

"I'm surprised at how well I've been doing, actually— Ah… w-what's this? Why can't I see?"

"Is it… starting to rain, Mom?"

"The water…"

"It won't stop falling."

"No, Saya-nee…"

"I'm not…"

"Ahh…"

"Sniff…"

"…"

"Mom… Saya-nee… I'm… I'm sorry."

"Because of me…"

"Because of me you two had to—"

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry…"

"I'm sorry for surviving alone."

"…For being born this way."

"For being… a witch."

The tears wouldn't stop.

My eyes burned.

No matter how many times I wiped my face with my clothes… it kept getting drenched all over again.

My white dress was ruined.

Ruru's going to be so mad when she sees me like this.

I'd better brace myself for the scolding.

*

When I got back to the inn, I was lucky no one saw me. Luckier still that Ruru wasn't in the room. She was probably with Destroyer.

I washed up, changed clothes, and went to the room across the hall.

Knock, knock.

I tapped gently on the door, and heard footsteps coming closer. Was it Ruru?

"Who is it now? This door really needs a peephole."

…It wasn't her. Uh… what's a peephole?

"Oh, it's you. Come in."

Weird… why'd he let me in so easily?

"Sera? You're back? Did you finish what you had to do?"

"Y-yeah. A-are you playing that, uh…"

"Chess? Yes. Destroyer-sama and I were in the middle of a game."

I stepped closer to the table.

"Not a game, Ruru. Let me correct you: I'm giving you a masterclass."

"Tch, more like you're just taking advantage of me. Don't start bragging yet, this time I'll win."

"Hah… sure you will."

These two… they're so funny.

"Hehe—"

Oh… did they hear me?

No, no, Destroyer, don't look over here.

"Oh? Was that a smile I just saw?"

"W-who's smiling?!"