A Reason to Fight: Part One

Shen's tense nerves were not much soothed by the cool morning air. His senses were assailed by the town square: vendors selling their wares, kids running through the streets laughing, and the heady aroma of freshly baked bread coming from a neighboring booth. In a fruitless attempt to fit in with a world that still felt completely foreign, Shen tugged his coat closer.

Before a loud voice broke his concentration, he kept his head down and stared at the old leather of his boots as they scraped the cobblestones.

"Shen! You're there."

Shen looked up and saw Geno, the man he thought had been his brother.

Geno strode forward with assurance, his broad shoulders making him a commanding presence against the bustling square. He wore a soldier's uniform, its dark leather edged with the silver shine of his rank.

Geno replied, "You're late," in a tone that was a combination of familiar taunting and frustration. "Said you’d meet me here ages ago."

Shen paused, taken aback by the effortless familiarity. He whispered, "Sorry... I got distracted," adding a casual quality to his voice.

As Geno placed a firm hand on Shen's shoulder, a grin appeared on his lips. "As usual. I'm glad you have me to help you stay on course.

Shen forced a weak, hesitant smile. However, Geno carried on as though they had spoken a thousand times before.

"You are familiar with the procedure. By sundown, we need to deliver a report, inventory supplies, and examine the garrison. Standard stuff."

Shen listened carefully, taking in everything Geno said. Shen was putting the pieces of a life he had inherited together, while his brother was only reciting their tasks. A soldier. I'm supposed to be that person.

"And keep that sword sharp," Geno said, his tone barely changing. "You might be fast, but speed alone won't save you if you're careless."

Shen gave an involuntary nod, but a wowan across the square abruptly caught his attention. A young woman was kneeling in the dirt close to the stone walls of a little church. Her lips moved in silent prayer as her shaking fingers traced the surface of a modest wooden cross she held on a necklace.

Although she seemed frail, there was a silent strength in the way she held fast to the cross, as though it were her only mooring in a stormy sea.

"Saw her earlier," said Geno, tracing Shen's eyes. "One of the nuns from the church."

An elderly nun came out of the church before Shen could ask any more questions, her feet deliberate and sluggish. With a stern yet compassionate expression, she put a hand on the younger woman's shoulder.

"Lina," murmured the elder in a low voice. "It’s time."

Lina nodded, her face tensing up. With the cross still in her grasp, she stood up elegantly.

Shen sensed an unexplainable attraction to her, an odd connection between her grief and the emptiness inside of him. However, Geno's voice brought him back to reality.

Geno motioned down the road and said, "Come on, let's move,"

Shen silently trailed after, his eyes scanning the busy streets. With merchants talking, kids scuttling between carts, and the distant sound of a blacksmith's hammer striking iron, the village was a tapestry of life. This was not the place for him. Nevertheless, he was present.

As they went, Geno broke the silence. "I've been telling you this for years, you know. Your life could be so much simpler if you would just listen for once.

Shen gave him a puzzled look. "What are you talking about?"

Geno let out a sigh and shook his head as if the solution were clear. "Being promoted to general. It's the quickest path to achieving real success and leading a moral life.

The words were heavy and purposeful as they hung in the air. Shen didn't answer, but Geno continued without noticing.

"Consider it. You would be protected, respected, and have prestige. Generals are admired by the public. You would also have a nice home, great wages, and not have to eke out a living like a common worker. Geno's tone had become serious. "And if you do end up getting married? The laws of the kingdom provide protection for a general's wife. You might create a family that genuinely relies on you. Doesn't every man desire that?

Shen stumbled a little. Protection, status, and respect... The ideas were alien, but they pulled at the borders of his disjointed mind.

Shen warily responded, "That sounds… straightforward," his tone tinged with concern.

Geno laughed and gave him another pat on the back. Simple? It's the greatest offer you'll find. Shen, you're capable; you just don't have the motivation. That's what distinguishes successful men from unsuccessful ones.

The words reverberated in his head, bringing back memories of his previous existence, which was characterized by avoidance, a series of strained relationships, and neglected obligations.

"What's stopping you, anyway?" Breaking out of his reverie, Geno asked.

Shen paused, finding it difficult to express the vague anxieties that prevented him from acting. "I… I don't know if I'm cut out for it."

Geno remarked, "That's your problem," with a frustrated shake of his head. "You think too much about everything. It has nothing to do with readiness. It's about doing the necessary tasks. I promise you will regret it if you don't resolve that issue right away.

I'm sorry. Shen felt the word strike him like a punch to the body. His history was a landscape of lost opportunities and a monument to sorrow.

The sun was a flaming smear on the horizon by the time they made it back to the town square, and the cobblestones were covered in deep shadows. They passed the church once again on their way. Lina was kneeling close to the entryway. Her actions were precise and reverent, her face a mask of silent grief as she used a small blade to cut intricate patterns into a fresh wooden cross in the waning light.

Mesmerized, Shen slowed his pace. He was drawn to her not only because of her melancholy but also because of the way she bore it, a burden she had long borne but never forgotten.

"What are you staring at?" Shen was startled out of his reverie by Geno's question.

Shen hastily said, "Nothing," but as they continued walking, his eyes continued to linger on Lina.

Later, when the evening chill descended, Geno's comments came back to him, mingling with the eerie picture of the distraught nun.

He remembered Geno's words: the quickest path to a noble life filled with accomplishments.

The words kept repeating in his head, drawing him in closer to introspection. He never thought of himself as honorable or even capable of accomplishing anything worthwhile. But wasn't that what this second opportunity was all about? To take a different action? To improve oneself?