Episode 26: The brute's grief

There was a moment of silence between Taro and Shizuka, just the cracking of the bonfire kept the air warm after what Shizuka said

Taro: (could this be… a confession?!. hmm, I highly doubt it) “guild matters”?

Shizuka: yes!, I’m surprised you still remember. yeah, I want to talk about guild matters, specifically what happened after the guild secretary knocked us out. when I woke up, I realize I had been crying, I had Ari by my side, so even if I was a little scared, I felt better by hugging her and telling her what I dreamed about

Taro: what, dream about?, more, memories?

Shizuka: yeah, but that’s not the topic, it’s what happened after. you were crying too, you were talking while unconscious, not in this language, but your native one, the one from our world. When you woke up, you looked shocked and confused, but unlike me, you didn’t have anyone to hug you. sure, we were all there, but I realized that we all assumed you’d be alright, and I don't think that’s right

Taro: huh? but, I, ok

Shizuka: I may be worrying too much, but I don't think the things you have lived here have been easy. just the dream you had there, it made you cry, just like my dream made me cry, but I had someone to talk to, and you still struggle with the language. Even if you wanted, even if someone were to listen to you, I’m sure if would be hard to say everything

Taro: that… that true

Shizuka: I'm sure you’ve been carrying a lot of things you haven’t been able to talk about with anyone, I can see it by the way you seem to stare into nothing, just like I used to before, like when I fell into the pond, remember? hehe.

Taro: hmm (I can’t deny that’s true, sometimes I space out without realizing)

Shizuka: I’ve been thinking about this and rehearsing it ever since we got knocked out, I don't think you should go through all this alone. I want to listen to you, just like you listened to me, but not in this language, that would be complicated, I mean in your native language. even if I can’t understand everything, it’s alright if you let it out like that

Taro was surprised by the offer; it was the first time someone offered to listen to him like that. even in his original world, his family would not care, or listen to him halfway before being interrupted or saying something he didn’t necessarily need

Taro: it, it ok Shizuka, I, tough

Shizuka: it’s not like I wanna force you to talk, I know I can be an “imp” sometimes, but I know how to take things seriously, so if you want, you can say anything you want right now, I’ll listen to you, even if it's something little, even if it's just to remember how the language from our world sounds

he contemplated the offer in silence and sighed before speaking

Taro: -I don't really know what to say right now, I’m not used to this kind of thing, but at least I wanted to hear myself speaking without sounding like a caveman for once-

Shizuka: there we go hehe, I think I understood a bit of what you just said?, ah, no, I won’t interrupt anymore, sorry

Taro: -its ok, thank you for listening to me. I guess it's true, it has been tough recently… no, it has been tough ever since I got transported here. I thought it was going to be like in the animes, that I would have an overpowered skill, that I would hmm get the romantic attention of a lot of cute girls, that I would be a hero. instead, I have no powers, I’m not the kind of person to be attractive to girls, I’m not even close to being the chosen one-

Shizuka listened to him attentively, not with her usual confused stare, but a stare of focus.

Taro: -not that I complain, I get to eat every day, I can sleep under a roof, I have friends now, there’s people that have been kind to me, but sometimes I feel a little… tired?. it’s like putting the few good things on a scale, and bad things on the other side, and the bad things are heavier, I don't know how to explain, well, it doesn’t really matter-

Shizuka just nodded without understanding a word, Taro was surprised at how many things he did feel like saying. his voice would shake at times by the weight of his emotions, making him clear his throat and swallow from time to time

Taro: -working hard just to be allowed to live in the church, and getting yelled at, and given more work to do on top of that, being laughed at by the local adventurers, some people are straight up rude, like that innkeeper that yelled at me. What's their problem?! I didn't choose to come here, and even if I did, why do they have to be rude?, that’s not normal, decent people don’t do that!, they’re jerks, they just mess with me because they know they can get away with it! -

he angrily threw a rock in frustration. Shizuka was startled, but she decided to continue listening. Taro clenched his fists tightly, trying not to shake

Shizuka: (I didn’t consider this, but it makes sense, that he would be angry about the things that happened to him)

Taro’s voice was cracking and shaking, and tears started welling up, but he couldn’t stop the stream of emotions he opened

Taro: -but what can I do? I can't just fight them, I'm not that kind of person, and everyone is stronger than me, they would beat me easily if they wanted, I'm just… too weak. I couldn't do anything against the tree monster from earlier, I couldn’t stand up for myself when that priest guy was clearly bullying me, or when I got yelled at… and I really thought I could come to this forest to save sister Sunny on my own, I would have died lost and alone a day ago. I also think about my family, and all the things I did wrong, I wish I could go back, I’m… so weak…-

he started crying tears of frustration, he tried to stop himself to calm down, but couldn’t. the tears wouldn’t stop

Taro: s-sorrri, I, -I didn’t want to show you this. the brute is crying?, how pathetic, isn’t it?, I should just… toughen up or something-

Shizuka: (I thought I was prepared to listen to him, I thought he would cry like I did, but, imagining it and actually seeing it are way too different things. Did I do something wrong? Perhaps I shouldn’t have asked him for this, I don't know what to say or do. but… I said I would listen to him; I will not betray him!)

Shizuka sat closer to him, and without saying anything, she started rubbing and patting his back

Shizuka: its ok, you can cry

His grief was contagious, her voice had cracked in that last sentence, but she nonetheless let him cry until he calmed down. afterwards, he thanked her for listening to him. They both could not know Ari and Nagye were awake, witnessing them from the blanket hammock

The next day, the girls woke up well rested, much better compared to the previous night. Taro was still sleeping

Sidra: the idea of sleeping together with the bonfire lit was most genius, I really feel refreshed, blessed be the morning

Nagye: y-you also did things to us, like hu-hugging us

Sidra: goddess gracious, I was asleep so it doesn't count, “hehehe”

Shizuka recognized that last little laugh as a playful jab at her like she had done to Sidra the day before, but she her mind was more worried about Taro

Shizuka: g-geez, you’re a little imp Sidra, hehe

Ari: Shizuka, come help me light the bonfire again, let’s get food ready before moving again

both girls were preparing the bonfire, then Ari got close to Shizuka, and whispered to her

Ari: What happened last night?

Shizuka: hmm? nothing in particular

Ari: I mean, I heard Taro crying

Shizuka: uh, you were awake?

Ari: I heard a noise so I woke up, and I heard Taro speaking in tongues before crying, did you do something to him?

Shizuka: no way, I just hmmm, I basically asked him how he was feeling since he was transported, and then happened what you heard

Ari: what did he say?

Shizuka: I don’t know, I asked him to tell me in his language because it would be difficult in this one, but I think I understood some of it, I think he talked about all the bad things that have happened to him, I think he was angry at some people too

Ari: you really asked him and basically didn’t even listen to him?

Shizuka: no no, I did listen to him, and even if I don’t remember the language yet, I think I understood him, with my heart

Ari: “with your heart”? what is that supposed to mean?, oh well… I didn’t notice he was that sad, he cried a lot

Shizuka: right?, he cried even more than me, I really didn’t know what to say. no wonder he’s still sleeping. I’ll… apologize to him later

Ari: I’ll also check on him, though I also don’t know what to say, I don’t think I’ve seen a man being sad, besides my father

Sidra: should I wake Taro up?

Ari: ah!, Sidra? I didn't notice you. yeah, the fire is lit not, we’ll start making the soup soon

Sidra went to where Taro was sleeping and stared at his sleeping face

Sidra: Nagye, would you come to see this?

Nagye: w-what is it?

Sidra pointed at Taro

Sidra: do you see?

Nagye: (are his eyes still swollen from crying?. I… I can’t keep freezing when my friends need help)

Nagye couldn’t understand what Sidra meant at first, but then she took a good look at Taro’s sleeping face, peaceful, relaxed, rejuvenated by the long rest

Nagye: I-I see…

Sidra: right? hehehe

they stared at him for a while longer while the others wondered what was taking them so long