Gambling on the Beach

“What the-!” I had to do a double take, since what laid in front of me didn’t seem real.

Rollnaldo shoved his merch cart through the door of the bungalow just behind me. “Well, this is a pleasant surprise.”

The interior of the igloo was definitely not what either of us expected. On the outside it was just an ordinary igloo made of snow, but on the inside it was as though someone took an actual Hawaiian beach bungalow and shoved it into the igloo. On the walls hung a couple of surfboards as well as some decorative tiki masks. Rather than beds in the room, there were three hammocks suspended from the ceiling and in the corner, there was a pile of coconuts to complete the aesthetic.

“Why the heck is there a place like this in the mountains?” I wondered.

“Who cares, after the day we’ve had, I could use a nap.” He parked his cart in a corner of the room and dove head first into a hammock.

“Hold on there, Recruit Number One. We’re not here for leisure.” Eight immediately rained on his parade.

“You just forced us to climb a mountain. Can’t your scheme wait until tomorrow.” He complained.

She tipped over his hammock, causing him to fall out and onto the ground with a thud. “No can do. You have a timeshare seminar you have to attend in a little bit.”

“Why the pip do I have to sit through some stupid seminar?” He sat up from the wooden floor.

“Because we’re broke and you signed an agreement.” She responded matter of factly. “In order for us to stay here for free, you have to sit through a nine hour long session.”

“But why just me though?” He continued to protest.

“Trust me, I would have much rather pawn the boring stuff off on Recruit Number Six while the two of us have a romantic vacation together, but unfortunately his ability is crucial to my plan… On the bright side, according to this pamphlet though, they're offering a free all-you-can-eat buffet during the seminar.” She attempted to sway him

“Free buffet, huh. What time was this thing again?” That last part she tacked on seemed to peak his interest, as he suddenly changed his tune at the prospect of free food.

“It’s in an hour. While you take care of that, Recruit Number Six and I have some important work that we’ll be taking care of.” Her eyes had a mischievous look in them.

I let out a sigh, knowing she had some kind of trouble planned. “What is it you need from me?”

She let out a chuckle. “I’m glad you asked.” She unfolded her vacation pamphlet so I could see it. “There’s a very particular reason we came to this resort and are taking advantage of this timeshare trial… You see, this resort is famous throughout the kingdom for its weekly lottery drawing which only guests can partake in.”

I already could tell where she was going with this.

She continued. “This month’s prize pool is one hundred thousand dollars worth of chips. With that kind of money, we can fund my super secret domestic terrorist organization, no problem.”

“Let me guess, you’re planning on using my gambling sorcery to rig the drawing.”

“Righto, Recruit Number Six!” She smacked my shoulder. “But…”

Of course there’s a but.

“...But this resort has a strict no gambling sorcery rule, so we’re going to have to do this discreetly without getting caught.”

“What happens if we do get caught?” I wondered.

She shook her head, as her tone turned serious. “Trust me, you don’t want to know.”

Great…

♣️♣️♣️

“Aren’t you cold without a jacket?” I wondered as the two of us sat outside in front of the entrance of the largest igloo on the resort grounds, which was the size of a small city block. Before leaving, Eight had changed into nothing except a lime green bikini. I wasn’t sure how she could bear it out here. The most I owned was a hoodie and I was freezing my cheeks (both kinds) off.

“We’re not going to need jackets where we’re going.” She declared as she pushed open the arched wooden double doors leading into the igloo.

Immediately, we were met by a rush of hot air that steamed out from the inside. It was so hot, I had to immediately remove my hoodie and tie it around my waist. As we entered, my mouth gaped open as I stared in awe at what was in front of me. “How is this even possible?”

“What, it's just a beach?” She casually strolled in, seeming unphased.

“Thats the point.” I muttered to myself as I followed her.

I wasn’t sure how it worked, but somehow this resort managed to cram an entire tropical beach into this igloo without it melting. It had everything from the sand and palm trees to an entire body of water with waves that people were surfing on. It even had a mural painted on the ceiling to simulate a sunny horizon, as powerful lamps illuminated everything. I finally figured out where all the guests were. The entire facility was completely packed with gamblords, dice people, card people.

“Try your best to act natural and blend in… and whatever you do, don’t muck this up.” Eight directed me.

“There’s so many people here, that shouldn’t be too-...” My attention was suddenly drawn elsewhere.

“Hey, what are you looking-... oh.” She let out a chuckle as she flicked me in the back of the head.

“N-nothing… there’s just a really…uh… interesting sand castle over there.” I nervously stammered as my face turned red.

“Stay focused, now’s not the time to be distracted by ‘sand castles’.” It was obvious that she could tell exactly what I was looking at…

Getting caught redhanded, I turned my attention away from a group of tanned bikini babes playing beach volleyball that ‘just so happened’ to be directly in front of a ‘sand castle’. Continuing across the beach, we made our way over to a little beach shack that had a sign that read, “guest services”.

Eight walked directly up to it and began aggressively ringing a little bell that sat on a ledge in the shack's windowsill. “Hello, I’m a guest and I need servicing!” She shouted into the seemingly empty shack.

There was a low rumbling noise, as a yellow rectangular cooler on the ground began to shake. After a moment, its lid flipped open, and a snowman—one covered in a yellow mystery liquid I hoped wasn’t what I thought—popped up from it. “Cowabunga!” It responded with a smile from its mouth that was made from small seashells.

The strong lemon scent wafted into my nostrils and the half of a lemon stuck in the middle of its face for a nose, made me breath a slight sign of relief as he probably wasn’t made from frozen pee… hopefully.

Eight waved her pamphlet in front of the snowman’s face. “I just checked into unit 104 and according to the promo in this brochure, guests get one free ticket for the lottery.”

“You’re totally right dudette, but I believe the concierge department is the one that takes care of that.” He responded as he pointed across to a shack on the other side of the beach.

Eight let out a huff, as she made her way over this next shack. Once again she obnoxiously smacked the bell on the desk. “Hey, I need concierging!”

Once again, a snowman popped out of another cooler on the ground. This one was colored red and had a strawberry for a nose and also smelled strongly of strawberries. “Aloha Dudette, how can I help you?”

She irritably waved her room key in his face. “I’m a guest. I want my complementary lottery ticket.”

“Oh, the ticket promo. It's actually the guest entertainment department that handles that.” He pointed his twig arm toward another corner of the beach.

Eight turned around with an even more annoyed look on her face as she kicked up some sand. “I swear, these snowmen are lucky I don’t have a blow torch.” She muttered under her breath.

For the third time, we made our way across the beach to another shack. There was a bell at this one as well which she pounded with a closed fist. “Come on, I don’t have all day!”

As expected, a snowman popped out from the cooler. This one was blue and smelled like blue razzberry. “Cowabun-.”

“Let’s just cut to the chase. I’ve already been sent to two other departments. I want my mucking free lottery ticket… NOW!” She angrily raised her voice as she spoke over the snowman.

“O-oh, the promo. Yeah I-I can help with that.” The snowman dropped his surfer accent while he had a slightly frightened look on his face as Eight gave him a death stare. Reaching under his counter, he grabbed a slip of paper and slid it across the counter.

“I appreciate it.” Eight spoke as she shoved the ticket into the back pocket of her shorts and began to walk away like nothing happened.

“So much for acting natural and blending in.” I murmured to myself.

“I heard that! Keep it up and I’ll demote you again.” She snapped at me.

With our ticket now secured, we were now on to the next phase of Eight’s scheme…