:Welcome to your new life:

The truck...

Hit like a truck.

Reed shouldn't have been surprised that it hurt, but it hurt like being ripped apart on an atomic level.

He hit the ground, bounced, rolled, and came to a stop at the bottom of some stone stairs.

Breathing slow and deliberate, Reed waited to see what all he'd broken or lost this time... Instead, he was surprised by the lack of pain. Other things filtered in: grass was tickling his nose, sun was warming his bare butt, the stone stair had bruised the top of his foot...

Foot?

Reed considered that further.

Yes, he had that correct. There were feet attached to calves, which were attached to knees, that were extensions from where his thighs used to end.

"Is he dead?" a woman asked.

"They're not supposed to come out like that..." an older man said.

"Bella, go check on him," a second woman said.

Reed slowly opened his eyes. A curtain of flame-red hair had covered his face, but he could see through it. An old man with a staff and robes stood at the edge of the clearing.

A woman, six inches tall, floated down into his view. Her pixie wings fluttered as she leaned closer, pressing her hands to her thick thighs. "Oh—" she gasped. "He blinked. I think he's alive!" She darted off.

Biting his lip, Reed tried to hold back his laughter.

Was this real? Was this really happening?

The old man slowly stepped closer. "Blinking doesn't mean he's alive, Bella," he scolded.

Bella, the pixie(?), giggled. "Oh, yeah."

He couldn't hold it in anymore. Reed's laughter bubbled out, rolling from a chuckle into full body cackling into the dirt and pavers. This was actually happening.

The old man stopped walking closer. "Astralitar," he intoned, starting his prepared speech, but Reed was laughing too hard to pay much attention, and that clearly annoyed the man. He cleared his throat. "Astralitar—”

Pushing to his hands and knees, Reed looked down at himself. He chuckled again, realizing this was a two-hand situation. Not only had he been given legs and hair, but this new body was blessed. Sitting back, he tossed his head to get some of his hair out of his face, since his hands were occupied. "Reed," he said to the old man. "And who're you?"

Now that he was sitting up, Reed realized that the old man, the woman, and Bella weren't his only audience. There were five people total standing at the edge of the clearing. Four people wearing purple cloaks with deep hoods, and the old man. Well, adding the pixie, there were six.

He had apparently been ejected from a portal at the top of a short set of stairs. The portal, which was a stone arch made of a single piece, had a faint blue glow in the center, as if a sheet of soap bubble covered it. The stairs led down to a paver path that was overgrown by soft grass, and trees surrounded the whole setting. Above, the blue sky was cloudless, the air was warm, and none of it recognizable. Reed was not in Kansas anymore... nor Alabama in December for that matter.

"I am High Priest Baltaz," the old man said. He cleared his throat again and lifted his arms. The chimes on his staff clanged with the movement. "Astralitar, we have summoned you—"

"To save the world?" Reed asked because the guy was making a big production out of it. "Can you save the speech for a minute and give me some pants?"

The tallest woman of the bunch snorted. The smaller woman next to her gave her a stern look, though he could really only see the bottoms of their faces beneath the hoods. Her full lips pulled into a frown.

Baltaz lowered his staff and scowled at Reed.

The buff woman stepped forward. Reed wouldn't have known she was a woman if she hadn't had her cloak pushed back, revealing her brick-house of a body and massive tiddies straining her linen shirt. Her trunk-thick thighs were clad in leather pants. Reed was almost jealous of the massive collection of knives she had strapped to her. Unhooking her cloak, she pulled it off her shoulders as she strode toward him, revealing her chin-length light purple hair. "The Astralitar is correct. Grand speeches can wait until he's decent." The cloak engulfed him as she tossed it over his head.

Reed caught the garment and made sure he was covered before shoving his hair back from his face. In the process, he noticed the lotus tattoo over his heart in red ink. It pulsed slightly with light when his fingers brushed it.

"Meg'ante," the shorter woman with full lips said. She was the one who had spoken earlier, Reed realized. "You're breaking the rules."

"He asked for something to wear, and no one else thought to bring anything," the very large woman said.

"They don't normally come naked, either," another woman said. Something moved under her hood, near the top of her head.

"Or fly out of the portal," Bella giggled.

Sufficiently covered, Reed slowly got to his feet, careful to keep the front closed. As he shakily stood, he realized that the purple-haired woman was eight feet tall and her thigh was as thick as his waist. The other women in the clearing lowered their hoods, the one with full lips had bright yellow hair and long pointed ears. When she opened her cloak, Reed was presented with a petite body and tits that could suffocate a man to death. She wore a form-fitting black dress with a plunging neckline—not what Reed would have expected from a fantasy setting.

The next woman to reveal herself had pink hair and cat ears. She wore a short skirt and crop top, her fluffy tail swaying behind her thigh-stocking-clad legs.

"Hi! I'm Amel'issa. She's Saffron," she pointed at the yellow-haired woman with massive jugs. "That's Snow," she pointed at the last girl who was dressed in traditional red hakama and white top with straight black hair and flat cut bangs across her forehead. "And Meg'ante. They're all very nice, but I think you should pick me."

Reed blinked once at the crowd of cliches. If he’d been a teen, this would’ve been impressive. But Reed was over thirty… and it was still impressive, but he couldn’t tell how old any of the ladies were, and that did matter to him. Bella hovered nearby, watching his expressions intently, her hand lifted to hide her delighted smirk, as if all of this was a massive joke she was trying not to spoil.

Saffron scoffed. Meg'ante winked at Reed. The Miko looked down at the ground as if she were uncomfortable about being included in the first place.

"Before he chooses," Saffron said as she strode forward. "We should find out what he represents." Before he could stop her, she snatched open his covering. Thankfully, he kept hold of one flap of the cloak. She wasn't looking below. She was looking at his chest.

"Peace," Meg'ante announced.

"It's red," Saffron scoffed. "That changes the meaning."

Reed snatched the cloak back from her. Maybe he should have let the old man speak before letting these women get involved?

Saffron turned to look at Baltaz. "A red lotus. Explain what it means."

The high priest shuffled nervously. "I will have to consult the books," he said hastily.

"You don't know?" Saffron demanded.

Reed swayed slightly. It had been a very long time since he'd been able to stand. His new body didn't lack for muscle, but his balance was a bit off. "How about we go straight to the Dark Lord business? There's always a Dark Lord in these situations..."

Everyone in the clearing turned to look at him.

Beltaz smiled broadly. "Of course the Astralitar would know why he was summoned. We'll have the ceremony in the proper order. First, the Astralitar must be properly dressed."

Saffron stepped back in disgust as the old man put himself between her and Reed and bundled him down the paved path to a stone arch on the other side of the clearing. Above, the sun gleamed a warm, golden light. Birds chirped in the trees surrounding the ritual site. The weather was beautiful and nothing at all like the drizzling rain in December that he'd just come from.

Ducking his head, Reed couldn't help but grin. He spotted the pixie floating close to his shoulder, peering at him curiously.

He could deal with a Harem Anime setting. He'd been given a fine and fit body with all its limbs, fantastic hair, and five girlfriends.

What else could he ask for?