Nothing Ever Happens

[deleted user] 1y ago

Reply:

LOL @user352674! You think you have it bad?

My name is Sato Kugo. I’m eighteen years old, currently attending high school in Tokyo.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been hearing a voice inside my head.

By all accounts, I was a strange child. I would ask myself questions and then wait for an answer. My parents would often shoot me worried glances. They thought I didn't notice, but I knew they were scared of me.

When I was only six years old, they confronted me in an overly dramatic way. But, hey, that’s the Sato family; always turning the mundane into a Shakespearean play. I hate it.

Once I told them I was speaking to the man in my mind, they took it about as poorly as you'd think. My mother started screaming something about demons and my father was already lacing up his shoes. We all promptly left the house and drove to the nearest psychiatric hospital.

Following extensive tests and evaluations, I was diagnosed as a schizophrenic.

After my diagnosis, I felt I couldn’t trust anything around me... Not even my own senses.

Now, let's go way, way back—back to when I was born. My parents had gifted me a teddy bear, which I had named Shinichi. Shinichi and I quickly became best buddies.

However, all good things must come to an end, don't they, @user352674? When I was twelve years old, I began to suspect that he was the source of the voice. I maintained my distance from him from thereon out.

But he kept calling to me...

He didn't actually say anything, but I knew he wanted me to look at him. Most nights, I could hardly sleep. I was constantly terrified that Shinichi would crawl into my bed and hurt me. I know it sounds stupid, but at the time, it felt very real.

Every morning, the first thing I'd do when I woke up, was check if Shinichi was still where I'd left him. He always was. He'd sit there, on my nightstand, beckoning me forward.

One evening, I reached my breaking point. I stabbed that damned teddy bear to death and slashed his throat for good measure. His stuffing flew everywhere, littering this psychological torture chamber I called a bedroom.

Then, I hid under my covers and waited for the police to arrive. Surely, I was in trouble, right? I mean, I had just committed murder...

I didn’t hear the voice for the rest of that night. You'd think I'd be relieved, but in truth, I was terrified. All it did was reinforce the idea that I had indeed killed someone.

Unfortunately, it returned when I awoke. "Good morning, Kugo," it had said.

The only consequence of my murder was a slap to the face. According to my parents, I had destroyed a piece of my history.

The voice never stopped insisting it was real, but I knew better: it was an inescapable illusion. I was trapped in my own mind.

My inner turmoil manifested in outer weirdness. I was severely bullied by my classmates. In elementary school, they called me a freak and would mockingly ask me if I could speak to ghosts. In middle school, they matured, along with their insults. They said I talked to perverts in my head, because I couldn't get enough of adult men.

The bullying turned me into a recluse. I stopped going to school when I turned thirteen. My parents tried everything to get me to go outside. Nothing worked.

I spent my days cooped up inside my room, working through textbooks, playing video games and solving puzzles. My hair grew long and my skin pale.

Despite not attending school, I had an insatiable thirst for knowledge that compelled me to study. I read anything I could get my hands on and learned all sorts of skills. If you want, after this, we can talk about that issue you mentioned earlier.

I can fix it… for a price ;)

When I was fifteen, I made the decision to join high school. By that point, I was far more academically advanced than the average student.

Now, you’d think my life is going well. I can speak five languages, and I’m about to graduate with a 4.0 GPA. And not to brag (OK I’m totally bragging), but I’ve already received a preliminary acceptance to the University of Tokyo.

Yet, for some reason, I still feel like something is missing. What had once been a sense of anticipation during my childhood years, was slowly turning into a persistent sadness.

Maybe, this whole time, I've been waiting for something that wasn't coming...

@user352674 1y ago

Reply:

Didn’t ask, nerd. I’ll be in Tokyo this summer. You better hope you don’t run into me. LOL!

BTW, how much to fix my computer?