Bittersweet Memory

It's March all over again, making it six years since that happened. I remember it so clearly like it was yesterday, but instead of uplifting me, it hauntingly drowns my whole being. 

The sun rays seeped through the opened sliding door, enlightening the dining area, but a shadow remained over me as I leaned against the wall. While staring at the empty chabudai in front of me, my head kept on playing the tape of what happened that day.

After all that running we did, I had unconsciously brought Sakura to my house. 

'I'm such an idiot.'

We stood outside panting like dogs desperately regulating our breath. 

"S-Sakura, I didn't mean to bring you here, I-I can take you home." My words staggered between my heavy breaths, but all she could manage was a no with the shake of her head.

"I-It's okay, I'd l-love to stay," she huffed while wiping her sweat off her forehead. 

I immediately looked away to have her avoid noticing a blush creeping on my face. 

My house was relatively small and traditional, but welcoming. Passing the dark tall wooden fence, is my grandma's garden greeting incoming visitors.

Soft patched grass, with well kept bushes, flowers, and a water path that goes around the house with koi fish. Half way through the pebble path walking path, it humps over the water like a small bridge. 

Sakura looked all over the place taking in the tranquil sight and crouched down at the hump. 

The koi fish obstructed her reflection as they swam in circles and bubbling the surface, making her giggle. 

"They're so happy to see me!" She took her small turquoise flip phone with clinking star charms to take a picture.

Seeing her enjoy the moment made me smile as we kept on walking passed the open entrance. 

While taking off our shoes, I called out that we were home and Yaka-Ma came by to properly greet us. 

"Sakura! It's good to see you and congratulations on graduating." 

Sakura bowed sheepishly in gratitude and said thank you. We made our way to the dining room, where Obi-Pa was already sitting on a cushion at the head of the table sipping tea.

"Welcome Sakura, have a seat." 

We bowed as I sat closest to him and Sakura next to me. Yaka-Ma brought a tray to serve tea and wagashi shaped like sakura flowers. 

"Obaa-chan, they're so cute! Can I take a picture?" 

Yaka-Ma nodded as Sakura excitedly took her phone out again. She had stars for eyes as she tried them, but I squinted my eyes at Yaka-Ma suspiciously.

'Don't think I didn't notice the reference.'

'Kuro dear I'm trying to help you!'  

My grandpa's loud sipping broke the awkward silence as I quietly nibbled on a wagashi. 

"So Sakura, did you receive any special gifts?" Yaka-Ma cunningly asked with a closed-eye smile that made me turn to look at her again. 

'Oddly specific..'

"Hmm? Oh yes, but my mom and dad were kind enough to take it back home for me. Most of them were from my friends and one from my tutor." 

"Lovely! And what about a special gift from maybe a boy?" 

I devoured the wagashi, my hand covering my mouth as I forcefully munched in panic. Beads of sweat were dropping down my forehead and I wasn't even running! 

'Yaka-Ma stop with the questions!' 

My grandpa noticed my tense posture and instead of putting out the fire, he oils it up with directing the attention to me. 

The wagashi forcefully went down my throat in a single gulp as I lightly fisted my chest.

"Yup! I'm alright Obi-Pa."

Obi-Pa sighed as the brief pause broke as Sakura answered Yaka-Ma's question while lightly she blushing. 

"Well...there was from a guy that I like." 

Yaka-Ma clasped her hands together with glee, but my heart sank. 

"How lovely! What did he give you?"

Sakura stretches her arm out, phone in her hand as she dangles the charm. 

"Riku asked me out and gifted me this phone charm, but because of graduation he had to spend it with family. I'll see him tomorrow though! We'll be going to the same university in Tokyo!" 

"Ah..is that so." Yaka-Ma's excitement crashed out as she held her tea cup to calmly take a sip. 

All the girls had a crush on Riku, he was relatively a nice guy, had the looks, and incredibly athletic. 

Reflecting on it, they were a match made in heaven, but hearing the news in my own home was like a bucket of ice water being dumped on me. 

As much as I tried to keep my cool, my eyes drooped as my gaze was at the reflection of my own tea cup. 

Seeing my own sadness was making me feel worse. 

Obi-Pa cleared his throat a bit before speaking. "Well, just make sure to be good to each other and focus on your studies." 

Sakura nodded in acknowledgement to his advice and her phone started to ring. She stood up excusing herself while bowing to take the call outside in the hall. 

Yaka-Ma rubbed her hand gently on my arm as I kept my head down. Obi-Pa furrowed his eyebrows in confusion until they arched in the thought of a discovery.

"Ohhh, you like Sakura." 

At hearing him, I pressed my elbows onto the table, covering my face with my hands as I let out a grunt.

"Obi! not out loud please." Yaka-Ma whispered yelled. 

Sakura's footsteps were heard coming back and we all stood up straight sipping tea at the same time like nothing was happening. 

"I'm so sorry to cut the visit short, but my mom called me to come back home now." 

I immediately stood up to walk her out as my grandma thanked her anyways for stopping by. 

The good thing is that Sakura lived further up my house, but I still felt the need to escort her in case of Matsura. 

The sun was setting, filling the sky with pink and purple hues, but unlike the exhilarating running experience we had earlier, we were walking at the same pace. 

No words were being exchanged, our hands to ourselves, and the pattering of out feet on the dirt road along with the chirping of the crickets were ringing in my ears. 

We were passing by the rice fields, the water reflecting the sun's faltering shine into the nightfall. 

Her home being a small spec in the distance was now in front of us in full view. I stopped at the little gate of the house, Sakura's family members were seated outside chatting as the younger kids ran around the yard.

A grown-up version of Sakura came to the gate and surprised Kuro with a hug.

"Kuro! It's good to see you, thank you for bringing my daughter home." 

"N-No problem.." I shyly rubbed the back of my head after we hugged. 

"Why don't you join us for a bit?"

Sakura tried to pull me by the hand, but I dodged it as I bowed at her mother. 

"I appreciate the invitation, but my grandparents are waiting for me." 

Her mother awed as she gave Kuro one last hug. 

"We hope to see you next time Kuro. Tell you grandma I said hi!"

I nodded as Sakura's mom went back to attend the guests and I started my way back home, but I couldn't help but feel someone's stare. 

By the time I got home, it was already dark and the moon was out. Locking the gate behind me, I laid down on the grass looking at the stars with a dissapointing sigh. 

I hear the door slide open along with some footsteps, my eyes turning to the school bag that is laid next to me. 

Yaka-Ma kneels down in silence looking up at the sky. 

"How did you know about it Yaka-Ma?"

"Well.. It was a bit of an accident." 

With a shriveled smile, I reveled my secret, delicately laying it on top of my bag. The yellow silk shined under the moonlight, the delicate embroidery of purple hues were stitched with love, and accented white near the color area. 

Yaka-Ma's eyes glowed as if she had seen a chest full of gold, but to me it was a chest full of despair. 

She took a closer look at the obi that was an accented dark purple amazed by the stitching. My fingers caress over the yellow kimono as I was only left with my imagination as to how beautiful Sakura would look wearing it with her sunflower clips and hair braided to the right side.

My eyes close, sighing at the weight of the thought and Yaka-Ma looked at me anxiously.

"You should've given it to her Kuro, you worked on it so hard! It's beautiful..."

But her question tugged on my heart as this work of art wasn't just some lousy graduation gift, it was much deeper than that, it was my love letter to her.

A warm feeling swelled inside of me as my heart began to compress. I felt tears swiveling down the sides of my cheeks, not comprehending what I was experiencing.

'Is...it raining? Why does it feel...hot.....' 

But before I could touch my face, Yaka-Ma held my face gently, wiping the tears as she had watery eyes threatening to fall. She hugged my tightly and I felt comfort in the bareness of my emotions.

The heartbreak erased the highlight of my day with Sakura.