A Gusty Night and a Glowing Skyline

Wind whipped at my face. Below, the bustling city teemed with life, blindingly bright, glowing with the light of a thousand business signs beckoning the denizens of the night. Any other night I would have found myself in one of the establishments, pouring drinks for my swine of a boss with a smile on my face. A decade of repetition: wake up before dawn, ride the train, work past sunset, and —if I was lucky— go home to sleep before the cycle restarted.

It wasn't that I was special. Millions lived the same way I did, trapped in the monotony, slaves to a capitalist society that worked them until their bones were dust or they had an "accident" at the station. I'd chosen a different route.

My name is Kyomi Yozora, thirty one years old. I was an accountant at a company so generic it's not even worth naming. I'd started there after graduating, lured in with honeyed words and false promises of promotions and company unity. By the time I realized my mistake it was too late; the hooks had already sunken in and the only way I would ever escape was by getting married or dying. I'd argue they're the same thing.

My parents disagree. That's why on the rare occasion I'm not slaving at my desk being berated by my manager I'm sitting at their table being berated for being single. "When are you going to give us a grandchild?", "You know Aiko's daughter just had her first child". Ignoring the fact I had no desire to push another human being from between my legs, when did I even have time to date? 

That wasn't to say I had a traumatic childhood. It was mediocre by all accounts. Back then the expectations stopped at grades, something that had never been an issue for me. I always scored in the top ten for exams and was vice-captain of my school's Naginata club. I had a decent number of friends and when I entered university things stayed pretty much the same. It was a blissful time in life, one that I don't think any working adults appreciate until it's passed. God I miss the sheltered bubble of youth.

I would have never guessed that I'd one day be standing on the ledge of an office building, praying that a gust of wind would push me off balance and send me plummeting to the street.

But my fated fall had yet to come and I still lacked the courage to jump. So, as dumb as it was, I stood on the precipice of the building on my phone.

You can judge me if you want. I wouldn't blame you. Who wouldn't laugh at a middle aged woman playing on her phone while she contemplated killing herself? It was absurd, the type of otaku behavior you'd expect from a greasy overweight man fondling a figurine of his "waifu".

Not that I was much different. For six years I'd used a game as a crutch to get me through the days. Royal Hearts, a mobile otome game inspired by historical Western-Europe. The protagonist Sarah Matthews (I was always glad you could enter your own name) is the stereotypical commoner turned heroine who finds herself at Orattvis Academy, a school for nobles, after she is found to have a birthmark that signifies she was chosen by the gods. That said, she's rather unremarkable with no real talent to speak of other than a rare aptitude for divine magic and five-hundred millimeter thick plot armor.

There are four male leads in Royal Hearts for the player to pursue. Starting with my least favorite, there's Richard Gredig, the heir to the Gredig Trading Co., a merchant conglomerate that is responsible for the regulation and distribution of the empire's main crop, wheat. In terms of looks he's alright, but his backstory reminded me too much of my real job.

Next there was Charles Sommaland, a spellsword and ladies' man with a quick and easy smile and a suave tongue that could swoop any woman off her feat. At least that's how his profile described him. In truth his "suave tongue" often came off as exaggerated and misogynistic. Not that that ever stopped me from choosing his route.

After Charles came Louis, renowned swordsman and heir to the Bourbon dukedom. At seventeen he was the youngest of the male leads while also the most stoic. His cold personality and midnight black hair made him the perfect choice for any girl thirsting after an aloof knight archetype. My only complaint was his submissive relationship with the final male lead, Crown Prince Stolz Goldsplain.

Stolz Goldsplain was what many considered to be the true, canonical lead. Set to inherit the empire upon graduating from Orattvis, Stolz is as domineering as he is caring. Of all the male leads he is by far the most sincere and there was a consensus amongst the fans that he must have been the dev team's favorite. Everything from his dialogue to the complexity of his route overshadowed the other leads and I wasn't ashamed to admit he was my 2D love. Unsurprisingly the main issue was that he was engaged.

His fiancé, Aurelie Scelerat, was the villainess of the game. An arrogant, jealous girl, Aurelie fulfilled every trope an otome villainess could. From scheming to bullying she did it all, constantly blaming the player for sabotaging her already broken relationship with Stolz. Her story culminates in her trying to poison the protagonist only to be caught by the main cast and exiled from the empire. It's a satisfying scene though I've always wondered why they didn't just execute her instead. It wasn't like they ever brought her back in any of the updates.

"If only there had been a Stolz by my side," I said, staring at the blond, green-eyed prince on my lock screen. "I wouldn't have minded marrying him."

A burst of winter wind and a falling phone I stumbled to catch. It wasn't how I had planned to go, but I didn't complain.

I was finally free.