Everlasting Heartache

Afternoon light, golden and warm, streamed over his shoulder as he lounged in the chair at his desk. Between his thumb and finger, he slowly angled the ring, catching flashes of iridescent color in the facets. This stupid thing had been burning a hole in his pocket for five years...

But it had never been the right time.

Now, it was a year late, and he still couldn't get rid of it.

The knock on the door startled him. He quickly palmed the small ring and straightened in his chair. "Come in."

Unfortunately, his office door had been open. Eloi had seen him and only knocked out of politeness. They'd known each other fifteen years and hadn't really changed much in that time. He still had a boyish face, and really only his hair had gotten longer. Crossing the room, Eloi placed a stack of papers on Delziel's desk. "Latest report on Mount Pallin. More people going up there... and never coming back."

This was something Delziel's secretary, Peachy, should have brought in. Shoving the ring into his pocket, Delziel pulled the report closer. "Why aren't they heeding our warnings?"

Eloi shook his head. "Couldn't tell you... But it's clearly the work of demons."

"The two of us won't be enough," Delziel said, looking at the report, even though his eyes wouldn't focus on it.

"No," Eloi said and shifted his weight. "Especially not when you're not all here."

Delziel looked up, a slight frown pulling at his mouth. There it was. The accusation he'd known was coming.

"Ziel," Eloi said, leaning his hands on the desk. "You're distracted. I understand why, but are you even trying?"

Shoving to his feet, Delziel towered over the man. He was stuck between saying of course I'm trying and why would I even need to try, it's just a matter of doing! but neither statement came out. He glowered silently.

Straightening, Eloi's piercing amethyst eyes met his gaze. "I'm saying this because I'm your friend. Would she want you to be like this? After everything she did to save you?"

That had been uncalled for. Squeezing his fists at his sides, Delziel couldn't find the words to argue. All he found in his heart was pain. Celestia... had been an off-limits topic for a year now, but even when her name hadn't been spoken, her absence was felt. The silence stretched between them.

Eloi pulled the report back across the desk. "I'll take care of things here. Go clear your head for a while," he said, "maybe consider retiring."

The suggestion hit like a punch to the gut. "I'm not--"

"Everything handed to you is at least three weeks late." Eloi pointed at the stack of papers on the side of his desk. "I'm not saying I don't understand. I'm just saying that... she's gone and life goes on. You need to decide if you want to go on with it or just sit here collecting dust."

Delziel didn't want to lose his temper. He didn't want to say the nasty things that had crossed his mind. He could tell by the flickering of light on Eloi's face that his eyes were burning with the fury he felt, but... this was uncalled for. "I'm not allowed to mourn her on the anniversary of her death?" he asked coldly.

"Months, Ziel!" Eloi slapped the stacks of papers. "I get that today wasn't the best time to talk to you about this but it's not a today problem. This has been going on for months. I miss her too, but look at you. I say go take a break, and you're ready to sprout horns over it! Take a break! Just a week at least. Sort yourself out and come visit." Eloi bravely came around the side of the desk to grip Delziel's shoulder. "Marcy and Cammie are worried about you. You haven't come over for dinner in weeks, and the kids miss you. At least come visit us if you're not going to go anywhere?"

Still angry, Delziel closed his eyes, putting out the flames. Pushing Eloi's hand off, he went around the other side of the desk, grabbed his sword off the rack where it had sat for months, untouched, and left.

Stalking the halls of the building that served as office, training hall, and dorm for the Knights of Emelet, Delziel exited to the street and kept going. He didn't know where he was going, but he didn't intend to come back until he could think clearly.

"General oso!"

Glowering, Delziel kept walking.

Peachy caught up to him anyway, dragonfly wings buzzing as the berrykin hurried to match Delziel's pace. "There've been reports on Six-slope that people have been going missing at an alarming rate oso. Captain Marcia has suggested we check it out oso."

Looking at the peach-colored, peach-scented berrykin, Delziel found him holding a folder out.

Snatching the papers, Delziel opened the folder as he walked. There was a handwritten note within. He immediately recognized Marcia's handwriting.

"If Eloi got to you first, I'm sorry. I tried to talk him out of saying anything, but you know how he is. The governor of Six-slope has requested KoE backup to assist the National Guard in securing the Mytril mines area. All they need or want is someone to help kill monsters. Please use this as an opportunity to unwind. When you're done, come visit. The kids miss you."

The rest of the report was pretty much as she'd summarized. Except she'd left off that she was sending Peachy as Delziel's "backup."

"Looking forward to working with you, General oso!" Peachy said cheerfully, his pompoms wiggling with excitement, crackling electricity between them.

Delziel shoved the folder back toward the berrykin. "Put this away," he ordered.

Peachy obediently shoved the report into his front pouch, then sped to catch up with Delziel again. Even if Delziel didn't want company for this trip, berrykin were good for that. He just hoped he would be enough to keep Peachy alive. Most berrykin were peaceful, but there were some, like Peachy, who thought having a battle record would get him dates. Further, this situation on Six wasn't normal. Normally, the monsters on Six-slope weren't too bad. However, the report said the number of them was noteworthy. Added to the disappearances, there was a mystery, though Delziel suspected the answer was pretty straightforward.

He didn't like taking orders from the people he was supposed to be leading, though. And he really didn't like having them send someone to babysit him. But it was something that needed doing, and he knew he hadn't been doing his job properly. This... was what he deserved.

I'm incompetent, and this was just a consequence that was coming. Celeste was the one holding me together, and everyone else knew it.

Angry all over again, he picked up his pace, heading toward the huffelant dock. Likely, there weren't any regular flights to Six-slope, but he was the general of the Knights of Emelet. They wouldn't say no.