A Past Performance (2)

Tension.

Hesitation.

Anxiety.

Fear.

These emotions whirled around inside me as I waited for someone to answer the door. The dull heartbeat in my chest echoed through the black void, quickening with each second. What am I waiting for? Who am I expecting? Those thoughts raced around my head as my eyes stayed glued to the door, until…

Click.

…it unlocked, and everything went si–

“You’re finally here, Jest! What took you so long?” A young woman jumped out of the entryway, ignoring the blatant silence to create an unsatisfying resolution. She wrapped her arms around me as her brunette twin tails swung side to side. The way she nuzzled her face was a bit childish, but her slim yet average figure gave it a much more mature and heartwarming feel. That t-shirt and shorts combo even brought a hint of casualness to it.

However, none of that mattered. Her presence in and of itself was surprising. After all…

“Ana.” …she was my girlfriend.

“Why are, no, how are you–”

“Don’t just stand around flapping! Come inside already!” With movement as fluid as a flowing river, she grabbed my hand, yanking me through the doorway. She didn’t even give a chance to react as I followed along out of pure instinct. It was only when the door shut with a thundering slam that I finally snapped out of it.

“Wait, Ana! Slow down! Please!” I tried to resist, but it was futile – my feet slid across the non-slippery planks.

“Huh? Oh! Okay!” She finally noticed my pleading, allowing me to rest. Even that small interaction was exhausting. It’s terrifying how much strength she could put into those tiny arms. Though, at the same time, it was exhilarating.

With that, I could take a look around the apartment. An open, one-line kitchen attached to a rather cramped living room. A television and sofa, with a coffee table in-between and a dining table off to the side. Two doors on either side at the far end: two bedrooms across from each other, one bathroom, and one laundry area. It seemed exactly like where I lived in my world. Well, almost – it was too clean. The bits of mold and discoloration near the corners had disappeared, as though this place was from my childhood.

Wait, I can’t get caught up in nostalgia. I have to deal with Ana first.

“Ana, how are you here?”

“Huh?” she cocked her head like a parrot. “Aren’t you supposed to know that?”

Why the hell would I know what goes on in my… oh. This is my subconscious… right. Her appearance made me forget that fact. Of course she can just show up the same way I hear my sister’s voice sometimes. There’s nothing strange about that… but then why does she seem so lifelike? I know my memory’s good, but this seems strangely realistic, as if she’s–

“Some thoughts are better left unthought, you know?” She gave a bewitching smile, bringing her finger to my lips.

“...yes ma’am,” I couldn’t help but cough out. “So, why are you here then?”

“Don’t you know the answer to that too?” Her face scrunched up.

“Why would I know that?” I was genuinely stumped at what was going through my head. Everything seemed orderly yet chaotic. Obvious yet obscure. Predictable yet unpredictable. I couldn’t make sense of it, even with my ability to see through illusions. “Do you know what’s going on?”

“Hmm…” Ana put on her adorably cute thinking face, scratching her non-existing beard. Steam rose from her ears, indicating her mind was working overtime. Well, that part wasn’t real, but she had a solid knack for the theatrics – one of the many reasons we got along so well.

“Anything? Anything at all?”

“Hmm… Hmm… Hmm…”

“Yes?”

“Hmm, eh. I give up,” she threw her hands into the air.

“Wait, why are you the one giving up?!?” Isn’t this supposed to be my mind? Come on brain, think!

“Well, it isn’t that important.”

“I think this is pretty important!!!”

She shrugged her shoulders.

“Aggghh!!!” Why is she like this sometimes?!? I know she has an eidetic memory, yet she’s too lazy to bother remembering anything!! Well, anything except food. I still have no idea where that all goes. Definitely not her belly.

“Obviously, it goes to my brain. It takes a lot of energy to think!”

“It doesn’t take thirty pancakes to end up with an ‘I don’t know’!!!”

“Well, duuuhhhh. It takes fifty!”

“That makes even less sense!”

“Does anything ever make sense?”

“I hope so!”

We both yelled at each other, huffing and puffing as we caught our breaths…

“Pfft.” I laughed. I couldn’t help but laugh. It was such a stupid tangent, making a big deal over anything and everything. But that’s why it’s fun.

“There’s that smile I’ve been looking for,” she quipped with a cheeky grin of her own.

Right, she’s always been like this. It didn’t matter how high or low, she always stood by my side, pushing – or dragging – me forward. The main reason I poked my head even the tiniest bit out of my shell was because of her. Headaches? Sure, there were plenty. Pain? All the time. But who cared? She was my girlfriend, and I loved her all the same.

“Thanks for that,” I said after taking a few minutes to calm down.

However, she didn’t respond, instead staring at the clock hanging above the television.

“Why are you looking at the clock?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“Oh, I’m just checking how much time’s left.”

“Left? But the hands don’t move.” The batteries had died a few years back, so the arms hadn’t moved in a long time. Almost coincidentally, it was stuck at eleventh hour, just a minute before the twelve-o-clock song would begin to play.

“Are you sure about that?”

I was stuck with an unknown sensation. That voice was clearly Ana’s, yet it felt… distorted somehow. Her irises glowed with a multitude of colors as her gaze moved from the clock, to me, and finally back to the door we’d entered. Her smile was somehow lonely yet resolved, as if she planned to see something through to its conclusion.

“What…”

“Now, it’s your turn.”

The sound of a soft jingle emanated throughout the room. And, as if on cue–

Ding-dong.