18: Just Apply Pressure

Another one.

Perfect.

Of course, there was a third intruder. I had to admit the plan was genius. Now was the perfect time to show up. They just had to wait until I had no fight left in me, then attack. I was an easy target. Correction, I was the easiest target. The jumpy one left me practically blind, barely standing, and my hand still had his dagger stuck in it.

Stay ready. Focus on… on the pain. I squeezed the dagger’s hilt in my fist again. My sword was somewhere by my feet. If I bent down, I wouldn't be getting back up. You can't… I can't stop. Not… yet.

"Well? Are ya the one behind all this? Answer me!" The accusatory voice was a woman's, and obviously upset. I had to be the reason, considering what happened to her friends. The timing was just too coincidental. She had to be with the two bandits. "Ignoring me, are ya? I won’t let—!"

"O-one aft… after another?" Swallow. Breathe. "Bring… it on." Cough! "I…don't c-care… who y-you… You're n-not… You're…"

I raised my left hand towards where I assumed she stood, but it dropped. The blade smacked the pedestal, and I didn’t even flinch. It's not that it didn't hurt. It simply wasn't enough to keep me going anymore. I'd gone from running on fumes, to running on empty, and then whatever came after that. The whole day left me drained, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

How could I miss the… third? There has to be a… a fourth… waiting, too. Waves of… Always in waves… Stupid game.

"Please, just—I don't… I-I need—" My eyes burned as I fought to keep myself together, but it was a losing game. Everything was. So was I—nothing but a loser. I finally broke down in front of her. There was nothing else I could do. Warm tears streamed down my face. She'd take the jewel and leave me for dead.

My knees were next, buckling as my body finally shut down. I barely caught myself on the pedestal, accidentally slamming my chest against the jewel. "Oof!" Even through my shirt, it felt cool to the touch and kind of nice for a moment, but nothing else happened. I slid off and crumpled to the ground.

"Th-this… all… your fault."

"My fault?! Hey! Ya can't go throwing around blame, like… I didn't—! What's wrong with—? Nysh, I can barely see… How?! Why aren't ya resona…?!"

I had to admit; she put on a pretty good performance. She almost had me convinced. For a second there, I swore she actually sounded concerned for me. My sister could learn a thing or two from her.

A blurry form rushed at me.

Go away…

"Hey! Wake up, ya hear me?! You're gonna be… I'll help…"

Her voice trailed off. It sounded like she was underwater. Only a high-pitched tone rang in my ears from one of the bandit's punches until it was gone, too.

There was no buzzing, humming, or vibrations. No heartbeat thumped in my head. The pain drifted away, and I wondered where my body went. It felt different from the aftermath of my previous fights. Peaceful.

Guess I'll never know what they were talking about with that resonating thing. At least it won't hurt when she…

Then there was nothing.

I felt weightless. I had to be floating somewhere, but my eyes wouldn't open. I waited, unable to do anything else.

"Back again, hmmm…? Impressive, but we really need to stop meeting like this. You shouldn't be able to just come and go as you please."

Anyone else, please. I'm begging. Not that. Not again. Not now

"Aww… What's the matter? Nothing to say? Not having fun yet? You almost had it that time, but… Oh, well," the voice giggled. "Maybe next time? Need a bigger push? You were so close. Just… Wow! But…" The amusement turned to annoyance. "I should've known you wouldn't…" Every word it spewed made my hatred grow.

"I can't—!"

"Maybe you're right. It's always the same, isn't it? You never do, but… you have to. If you don't, you might not be so lucky when… Are you trying to fail? Do you want to die?! Because… Do you have any convictions at all?! Your resolve, your… will… seemed stronger this time. You need… more, Skyler. Start believing in—"

"Stop! Please, just…" The weightlessness faded, replaced by something hard pressed against my back. "Why won’t you let me…? Send me—I want to go… home."

The emptiness gradually filled in around me. Something soft was under my head, and a strange warmth covered my body. The feeling led to an odd realization: I was actually comfortable. I didn't want to get up.

"Did ya know ya talk in your sleep? Well, more like mumbling, actually, but it sounded like ya were getting worked up over something."

Who the hell? She’s not—

I looked to where it sounded like the speaker's voice came from. Why can’t I see?! Something covered my eyes. A blindfold?! I shook my head from side to side, hoping to knock it loose. Regardless of the comfort I felt seconds before, panicked thoughts of capture and torture flooded my mind. She screwed up! I wasn't bound. I tossed whatever was draped over my body and sat up. I needed to run. I needed my sword.

"Hey, watch it! Ya tryin' to go up in flames?"

Good. Focus on that.

My hands flew to my eyes, but someone grabbed my wrists. Their hands were rough, calloused, and strong. I pulled, trying to wrestle free. They wouldn't let go.

"Get off of me!"

"Stop it! Calm down or—Ya want to hurt yourself? Ugh! I said stop, ya darn fool!" The hands squeezed tighter. "Nysh, some monster you turned out to be. You're nothing but a beat up kid. What are ya, twelve?"

"Twelve?! I'm not—! I'm twenty, and…" Wait, go back. She called me a—? "M-monster? Me?" Maybe I am. I'm obviously some kind of freak to these people. I mean, I even killed—

"Yup. I think that's what the odd little fella was screaming. Hard to tell, really. He was loud, but hard to understand. Not too clear with his words, that one. He didn't look very good, either. Not with a face like that. Yikes… I haven't seen injuries like those, or even yours, in a while. Anyway, I'm gonna let ya go now, but don't be rubbing your eyes, aye?" I nodded silently. "You're lucky I came prepared. I might not have Asa's touch, but… I did my best."

She eased off with her vice-like grip on my wrists. I felt something pull at the side of my head and loosen a moment later. I wasn't wearing a blindfold; it was a bandage.

"It wasn't pretty. Nothing life threatening, but ya were in some bad shape. Now, how 'bout telling me what happened, ya know, instead of tossing blame this time?"

"Blame? I didn't—When…?" Then it clicked. The voice I heard at the pedestal after the fight was hers. "That wasn't… I was talking to—" I hesitated. Do you want the nice lady to think you're insane? Don't you dare tell her you were talking to a disembodied voice, idiot. "It… wasn't you. Sorry. Just forget about it," I muttered.

"Fine then, Mr. 'Tough Guy'. Whatever ya say." Her sarcasm seemed a little much, but I probably deserved it.

When the last of the bandages on my head came undone, I opened my eyes. The world gradually came back into focus with each blink. It was night, and she was staring back at me with steely-gray eyes.

"Keep blinking. Okay. Stop. Let me take a peek at ya." She smiled about something. "Blue…" she almost sighed. My cheeks warmed slightly. "It's been so long since…" she trailed off. My face grew hotter, and I pulled away. She'd lingered in my personal space for too long. I didn't need whatever else she was trying to do. My eyes could see just fine now.

She must have taken the hint. She stepped into the shadows and wrapped herself in the blanket I threw off to escape moments earlier. It turned out to be a cloak. She pulled a hood up to cover her head, but braided locks of dark red hair spilled out. From what I saw in the moments before she covered up, she had a short stature, wore fur-lined leather armor and gloves with matching boots, and had muscles; a lot of muscles. No wonder I couldn’t pull away from her. She definitely intimidated me. If I’d been playing Wonder Sage, I’d have assumed she was a barbarian themed avatar.

"Stop gawking, will ya?" she scolded.

"I-I'm not—!"

Don't argue, dumbass. Just apologize. Maybe try not to piss her off, if that's even possible. A small fire glowed nearby, snapping and crackling, not like the funeral pyre I lit. We were camping at the ruined church. The jeweled pedestal stood at my right, still maintaining its eerie glow, but my sword was suddenly missing. Where is it?

Confused, I went to scratch my flushed cheeks. What is this? My hands were basically mittens. She'd bandaged more than just my head. She wrapped almost my entire body to some degree: my arms, chest, and even my feet. Blood stains seeped through from my wounds caused by the bandit's dagger, especially my left hand. I looked like a ridiculous half-wrapped mummy, though.

She did… all of this? Well, what do you say?

"S-sorry," I apologized for the second time. "I didn't… Th-thanks for… taking care of me."

"Fabrienne."

"Huh?"

"Thanks for taking care of me, Fabrienne. It's my name, but… everyone kinda just calls me Fabri. What about you, little man?"

Little? She can't be much taller than… Wait. She isn't. She's shorter than me!

At just over five and a half feet in height, I never considered myself tall. She'd be lucky if she even reached the five-foot mark. Even if she did, it was probably only thanks to the thick soles of her mud-caked boots. I bit my tongue, preventing a sarcastic comment that would have likely resulted in more injuries to my already beat up body.

"Thanks… Fabrienne."

She immediately frowned and wrinkled the bridge of her nose as she mulled over my newest apology.

"Now we're getting somewhere, but… let's just stick with Fabri, aye? Hearing ya call me Fabrienne sounds… weird." She waved her hand, dismissing it entirely. "I only get called that when…"

Does she have a screw loose? She just told me—

"Okay, so…?" She paused and waited for something. "This is when ya tell me your name."

Maybe I can tell her my name is… "Kar—" Shut up! Are you really so pathetic that you'd actually use that name? Here? Now?! What a loser. Just tell her, and move on.

"It’s… what?"

"Skyler. Just… Skyler" My voice was practically a whisper of embarrassed shame.

"Louder. Ya have to say it again if ya want me to hear it."

"I-I'm Skyler."

"All right, then, Skyler. Let's try this again."

Fabrienne stepped closer to the fire, tossed some small twigs into the flame, and sat cross-legged with the fire separating us.

Now what’s she talking about—? Hey!

She then leaned over and pulled my sword from behind a large bag like it weighed nothing, then laid it across her lap. Her expression turned stern. The friendly banter vanished, replaced instead with a tension I didn't understand. Catching my eyes darting to the stone blade, she raised a single eyebrow without losing her focus.

"I know where ya got this. I know where it… belongs, and that's not with someone like… Ya wouldn't happen to be here… looting, would ya? These Elvish ruins… too much has already been stolen. The way ya clung to the pedestal makes me think ya might've laid claim to the jewel, too. I don't take too kindly to thieves or liars. Mind telling me what happened?"

Looting? Thief? Liar?

My stomach sank. She'd never believe the truth. I looked behind her, towards my camp and the fountain. Something told me I wouldn't get very far if I ran.

"I'm waiting, little man. Lost your tongue?"

"I’m not… I didn't steal anything. I needed… I-I begged for…" Shut up! Are you going to tell her you whined like a little baby until the statue gave it to you? Really? She won't believe—You don't even believe that, do you? "W-well, I mean… It's not what you… I-I… He—!"

"He? So… someone else stole it, then? 'He' gave it to ya?"

"N-no," I whispered. She probably didn't hear me. Afraid and ashamed of the truth, I hung my head in defeat. My eyes unfocused as I watched the flames between us. "There's… no point. I-I can't explain how I… I just want…" My voice cracked. "I want to go home." I needed help, and she… she's what I got? I don't even have my—his sword now, and… How can I…? "I… I can't… I can’t! I can’t do this anymore!"

"H-hey, what are you—?! Stop! Stop it! Skyler, you’re gonna hurt yourself!" She stood and reached towards me.

Fresh blood soaked through the bandage on my left hand, staining it a dark red. I'd unknowingly made a fist, and slowly increased the pressure while my breathing came in quick, shallow bursts. My gasps for air sped up, leaving me almost choking on each breath, interrupting me when I tried to speak.

"Do ya hear me? I said stop that!"

"Why?" Tears returned to my eyes. "I… I don't… care." The world distorted into a wet, flickering blur. "I don’t care!" I balled my dripping fist even tighter, wrapping my other hand around it and squeezing harder. My entire body tensed and trembled from the fresh wave of pain I unleashed. "I… I hate it! I'm… so tired… all the time, and it… It won't stop! Why…? Why won’t it stop? I—It just dumped me here to be… hunted… to die. It's a game, I… I guess? That’s… what It said. I don't… It just… It keeps… taunting me, mocking me, and… and… now? Now, I'm even worse off than… S-so just… do it. Judge me all you want. Label me. C-call me a… a liar, a thief, a freak, a monster, a m-mur—" The word wouldn’t come out. I swallowed hard and tried catching my breath.

Say it. Come on. It's one little word, so just… say it.

"Nysh… I'm not gonna let ya wreck your hand. Give it here, so I can take another look, okay?" She pried my hand free, grabbed my wrist, and crouched beside me instead of waiting for me to comply with the demand.

Own it already. There’s no denying what you did. You killed him, plain and simple. He’d still be alive if it wasn’t for… Knocking him into the fire was all too easy, wasn’t it? Poof. He was gone. Sure, you had yourself a little cry after, but you weren’t done. No. You tried to do the same thing to that jumpy… Already bleeding and injured by the other one beating him, but you still went right for him, bruised and broken… You wanted it, to finish him, to break him with your precious sword in the end. Isn't that right? I… Shut up! Then do it. Say the word, killer. You know what you are, so tell her. Admit it. Go on, say it already. No… Say it. I… can’t. SAY IT! MUR—!

"Mur… der…" It came out as a whimper.

"What?"

"M-murder…"

"Murder? I never—" She released my hand, and pulled away wide eyed. I was free.

"Murderer. I-I… I'm a… a murderer, b-but I didn't—How was I…? I don't… know what to do. I should be… You should have… left me there and let me… I didn't ask for your help."

"That’s not—"

"Do what you came here to do, then leave, or just… leave me alone. I want… it to be… over. It has to be over. Please… I… I'm… done."

I got up, unable to stay with her any longer. My legs were unsteady at first, but I pushed through it and wobbled away. I had to get away from her.

"No. W-we’re not done yet. You haven't—"

"I… I am. B-bye… Fabri."

She shouted something, but I ignored her. She didn’t bother trying to stop me, restrain me, or even chase after me, so whatever she still wanted obviously didn’t matter as much as she thought it did.

That’s right. Leave me alone.

Either she’d still be there when I woke up, or she wouldn’t. Tomorrow was coming, whether I wanted it to or not. She'd stripped me of my sword and left me vulnerable. I couldn't protect myself anymore now, not if something else found me.

Off in the distance, light from my fire still smoldered deep in the ruins at my camp, my home, but it wasn’t really home. I just had a pile of leaves.

My stomach growled, but I felt sick.

"Great. Another warm, dirt flavored meal to look forward to. Maybe I’ll cook it while I can."

I didn't bother. I went to sleep hungry.