Ikigai denigrated by The Absurd [Part 2]

The next few hours were very uneventful. The others rested their eyes, while I was completely lost in the wild world of my mind. Trying to come up with answers for what happened to me earlier. I did remember from my first day here; when Quen and I were going to sleep at the hostelry that exploded. The sensation I had today was very similar to the one I had back then. This comparison just made me worry. I had the impression that something bad was going to happen. I just don’t know what or when. I wonder if I should tell everyone to be on the alert? I shouldn’t make them worry too. I’ll just be diligent with my observations.

I just wonder what is happening to me? If the two instances are the same, why did I have them when I did? Does this mean I have a unique ability? Does it have something to do with Mana? I suppose that it’s not much of a stretch that I might have some type of Clairvoyance or Precognition. This is another question I could ask Vapula, to hear what he thinks. He did say that he knew that the mansion was going to be an attack; to then chalk it up to a possible vision. I just am so—

Someone distracted me by kicking my foot. It looked Quen’s but when I looked up at her, she had her hands on Írui’s cheeks. Írui was laughing at Quen about something. I think Írui made it look like Quen was playing footsie with me. Funny. I grinned slightly. I then looked at Nel. She’s a little mad at me because I didn't talk to her like I said. But what was funny, she didn’t say that she was mad. I could see it in her face. So, I guess I should take a break thinking and talk to her.

“Hey, Nel. What are you reading?”

She looked at me with that signature scowl.

“It's a book about pastries.” She responded.

“Do you plan on making any?”

“... Yes...” She said quietly, hiding behind the book.

I asked a few more questions about the book and her hobbies. She soon lightened up to me again. We even got others interested in our conversation. Food and dessert will always be a great topic of discussion. The conversation made the time go by pretty fast. We then had to make a stop in one of the cities that is on the way back to the mansion.

The main reason why we stopped in this city was the same as when we first came through here on the way to the emporium. To get some snacks, and since we just got done talking about food. We got quite a bit of food. Some of the vendors were surprised at how much we were spending at each of them. I’ll admit, it was a little excessive, but we were having fun.

Unfortunately, it was very busy in the city, way more than last time. So, because of the type of monster pony we have. They were getting easily distracted, so they were hard to control. We had to wait for the crowd to dwindle a little. This took up a lot of time. Dusk was approaching by the time the crowd got small. We soon left the city.

⧫⧫⧫

Getting back on track. I didn’t talk a whole lot more after we left the city. I was again lost in my thoughts. I was also lost in the memories of my former life. Just for some reason, when I had that sensation earlier. I had the lingering thought about the worthless life I was forced to live. Now, one may be asking... ‘What was so worthless about the world that I came from?’ Before I was suddenly transported here: I was attending a fantastic university, a solid career in my future, and had loving friends. Yes, those are all true and I will always cherish those blessings.

Ultimately, what made that old world of mine worthless: were the people that dwelled within it. Constantly surrounded by arrogant and incoherent people. Weak minded and pathetic. Most of them just had themselves in mind and no one else. So, I had to force worth into my world. With that said, I did say most of them, but somehow, not all of them. I was able to amazingly find some of the best ones. Even when I was schooling in Japan; some of the lowest points in my life. I found one person that had true worth. There was a word that this person often used around me. Ikigai. It roughly means 'a reason for being' in English. It took me the longest time to form an opinion around the idea of a reason for being. I’m not even fully sure if my opinion on it is right or justifiable.

The conclusion that I came to was that there is no reason for being. There is only acceptance in a world without reason. Knowing this gave me something better than purpose. I gained control. Not only over my own life, but the lives of others. Now, I’m living in a new world with characteristics that are all too familiar to my old one. The biggest difference is when comparing the two worlds. Is that I have so much more knowledge and power than I did before.

This fact brings me joy. I don’t care what others think of that. They are only afraid of what I can become and what I am capable of.

“Haah...” I stopped from looking out of the window to place my hand over my face with a sigh of self embarrassment. God… That’s all so pretentious. I sound like an edgy teenager. Well, I did think of some of that stuff when I was around that age. So, I guess that isn’t unusual. The main thing is, I have something of worth in my new life that I’m willing to do a lot for. You can say that might be my Ikigai.

“Is something wrong Ryosuke?” Quen asked while placing her hand on my leg.

“Oh, just thinking about my past and what the future might hold.” I grinned.

Quen slowly looked away, unsure of what to say.

I saw that the moon was out. This is the first time I noticed it, but then flew behind large trees, once we entered the forest. I must have been thinking to myself for hours. I can tell that the others were getting a little tired too. I then yawned, unintentionally. Elros and Nel did the same shortly after. That almost made me laugh. Seeing how relaxed they are around each other, including myself. It's a nice thought to have every once in a while.

“Uhhgg! How much longer!” Elros whined.

“Quit complaining.” Írui remarked.

“We've been traveling like all day!” Elros sighed.

“Well, we have been, haven't we?” Quen added in confusion.

“Doesn't matter, Elros is just annoyed that it’s dark out.” Írui commented.

“Haha, okay everyone. We’re just a little tired.” I added.

“Yeah, we can even take a quick nap if we want!” Quen announced.

“Why not, Nel did.” Elros added, then gestured to Nel.

Nel was curled up and lying on Írui, completely asleep. However, in those small moments of peace, my vision trembled as my body shifted against my will. We came to an abrupt stop! All I could concentrate on were the wheels of the carriage, kicking dirt from the road everywhere!

To then worry as the sound of the horse creatures quickly echoed in the night air, as I saw one of them running away!

The murmur of the others' confusion began to take up my thoughts. No one sounded like they were hurt, but the cloud of dirt around us began to change to a black smoke and quickly surrounding our carriage.

I heard Aeryvon or Vahaemarr moving around in the front. One of them I think has their sword ready. Everyone inside the carriage was confused and worried.

“Get ready!” Aeryvon shouted.

Elros and Írui quickly got out of the carriage to get their weapons from the back. I instantly tensed up once I heard the harsh echo of metallic weaponry clash into whatever it was.

“Aeryvon!” Vahaemarr shouted!

“What happened?” Írui asked in panic!

“Aeryvon was thrown into the woods!” Vahaemarr quickly responded.

“He’s a tough guy! He’ll be fine!” Elros remarked.

“I can’t see anything! Quen! Can you get rid of this smoke?! … Quen?!” Írui shouted.

I looked around in the carriage and Quen was still inside struggling to breathe!

“She’s in here but something's wrong!” I shouted!

“It’s—It’s the smoke!” Vahaemarr struggled to breathe!

“What?! Why? What should we do?!” Írui panicked!

“Just stay close to each—”

“Elros?! Are you good?!” Írui shouted at Elros' sudden pause.

“Okay… Let’s just relax.'' Said an unknown and feminine voice.

The smoke cleared slightly, unveiling a woman who had Elros in her arm with a blade pressed right to his neck. Close enough to pierce the skin on his neck that would cause a wave of blood to flow.

“Do anything I don’t like and I'll cut this pretty boy's neck open!” They shouted viciously.

Damn it! I feel so helpless! What should I do?! I can’t do anything! I’m useless in situations like this! I need information, I need a plan, I need to know of events before they happen!

I can’t just sit in the carriage with an overwhelming sense of defeat. Completely helpless. There must be something! Anything!

This can’t be real… Unbelievable…