[29 — Cold Night? (1)]

"I know ■ you'll
■ afraid "

"■ Save Katou
falling"

"Katou
■ you
right ■"

"■ have ■
afraid,
■save."

"■■■ Katou"

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

.............
......
...
..
.

"Aaah!" I woke up with a start.

The room was ridiculously dark.

As if the lights being out wasn't enough, it also looked like it was dead in the middle of the night.

I grabbed the pocket watch hanging on the bedframe.

It was 1:30 AM.

"That damn dream again…"

I really had no idea how to escape from it.

My sleep was usually heavy. I didn't dream often. But whenever I did, those bizarre images came flooding back into my head.

I won't pretend I didn't understand them. Even if everything seemed foggy in my memory, the feelings tied to the dream hit harder than ever the moment I woke up.

It felt like those anime episodes I was sure I had watched, but when I tried telling someone about them, the details slipped away. Horrible… and yet, impressive how those fragments could still affect me so deeply after all this time.

"Sigh…" I exhaled.

Maybe what I really wanted to forget wasn't about the game after all.

*

I kept thrashing in bed, rolling from side to side like a fish out of water.

Tried counting sheep, tried doing math from 0 to 100 in pairs of twos. Useless. I couldn't fall back asleep.

Normally, in situations like this, I'd grab my phone and put on rain sounds. Not long ago I'd found this app that let me adjust knobs for thunder, wind, rain, even crickets and a crackling fire. Too bad, in a medieval world, that kind of luxury wasn't exactly available.

The closest I could think of was firewood crackling. But… it didn't feel safe to actually set something on fire inside this room.

With no other choice, I got up and stepped out to the balcony.

Maybe a little fresh air would help me calm down.

"Keuk… c-cold!"

The wind was as icy as I'd expected, though still bearable.

My senses were dull. My body knew I should've been in bed instead of staring blankly over the city. (Not that there was much to see anyway.)

Truth is, I've always been a night owl. Loved the night sky, loved the stars.

Whenever I felt lonely, I hugged Abobora-kun and sat by the window to watch the city lights.

He always looked uncomfortable staring at the security bars. Probably felt trapped. Which made me think about how ungrateful life really was.

Children never understand the protective gestures of their parents.

"Heh… Wish I could hug him now," I whispered, leaning against the railing.

Back then I used to climb to the rooftop just to see everything from above, but… well, things happened, and I quit that habit.

Now, in Blesson, the view was completely different from the modern world.

There were a few lanterns lit along the street, and the sound of laughter drifted from the front of the tavern.

Most of the nightlife seemed to gather there. But what struck me most was how, even in this medieval world without electricity, there wasn't a single spot of perfect darkness.

At last, I understood what history books meant by calling darkness humanity's oldest fear.

"Nn… haa~"

Since sleep was out of the question, I started pulling my thoughts together to try making sense of this madness. Like it or not, I'd been stuck in this world for nearly two months, and hadn't made any real progress.

Even though I was training and upgrading my gear every single day, it felt like my life in the game was nothing but one big filler arc. There wasn't a single major event that could actually shake things up or change the course of the story.

Had I really become just some random mob character?

"No… that can't be it."

If I were irrelevant, the mercenaries wouldn't have bothered to kidnap me. And it wouldn't explain why they fed me when I was clearly at their mercy.

"Hm…"

To figure it out, I'd have to dissect what kind of personas those three were hiding. Hard to pin down since they were clearly masking their personalities back in the forest, but one thing I knew for sure: mercenaries chase profit. Always.

Then the question was: what profit could they possibly find in me?

Status? Money? Advantages?

Still unclear.

Maybe the answer was tied to my identity more than I thought.

At first, I suspected I was like Sera: Hunted by the Inquisition for having some kind of magic. But no matter how I looked at it, I didn't seem like a 'witcher.'

Of course, maybe I was wrong and just hadn't triggered it yet. But honestly? I doubted it.

Speaking of magic, my contact with it had been minimal.

I hadn't found anything on the subject that could give me any relevant information.

The Inquisition smothered any trace of it, sure. But still… I hadn't expected a total erasure.

I'd have to wait and see if other cities were different.

For now, all I had to go on came from people's chatter. Which—let's be honest—wasn't the most reliable source.

The only one who could give me something solid was Ruru. She could confirm my identity, help me piece together the fragments of my lost memory.

"Memory, huh?" I stroked my chin.

Weird.

Now that I really thought about it, the whole thing was confusing.

I was doubly disconnected.

Not only did I lack memories of the game, but I also lacked the memories of the old me. The Katou before I took over.

Maybe that was part of the original lore, but… I couldn't shake the feeling that I was missing something. Something crucial.

"Where am I going wrong?"

To find the answer, I'd have to go back to the start. Break down the foundations and build from there.

"Ah…" I inhaled deeply and shut my eyes.

First base: I was transported into <Vinsatsu Legends> after DMing the devs.

Second: I lost my memories and got dumped at the start of the game with no gear, left to chance. (A real jerk move, if you ask me.)

That alone was insane, but not shocking when you consider how much isekai material I'd consumed over the years.

The real question was… why here?

Why was this tiny backwater town chosen as my starting point?

Was there an actual reason?

What was going through the devs' hea—

"Wait! D-devs?"

That's when I realized something strange: one of my so-called 'bases' came entirely from what Vindt told me. Which was hilarious, considering she was about the least trustworthy person alive.

And yet, like a complete idiot, I swallowed her words whole without a shred of doubt.

Am I dumb? Or just careless?

The more I thought about it, the dumber it sounded.

She hadn't actually told me anything… so how did I manage to build theories off that?

Everything I'd pieced together assumed I'd started from square one. But… was that really true?

Suddenly, I remembered the message I sent her before being dragged into this world.

I repeated 'first time' so many times in that text that I made a rookie mistake. A slip any amateur would regret.

What if the timeline wasn't straightforward at all?

What if...

I was dropped into the middle?

"In medias res…" I muttered.

The realization finally hit me.

Those three simple words explained more than my whole rambling monologue.

It was still a hypothesis, but… everything clicked if I thought about it that way.

"This isn't the true start of the gam— Kya!!!"

"The start of what, Destroyer-sama?"

I nearly jumped off the balcony.

"God damn it, Ruru! What are you doing sneaking up on me like that? You almost gave me a heart atta— I mean, I almost cut you down with my sword!"

…This devil of a girl. How is she so stealthy?

"Fufu~ I'm glad you didn't cut me, Destroyer-sama."

"Ugh!"

I straightened up before Ruru could notice anything odd. That's when I saw she was holding a blanket in her hands.

"Ahem. What are you doing here, Ruru? Shouldn't you be in bed?"

She stepped closer and draped it over me.

"You should cover yourself, Destroyer-sama. You'll catch a cold."

"...T-thanks."

Ruru leaned against the railing beside me.

"I was asleep, but I woke up for some water. On the way back, I thought I heard your voice and… well, here I am."

"I see…"

Her alibi was convincing enough.

Note to self: keep my mouth shut during late-night ramblings.

The walls were thinner than I thought.

*

Fwosh~

The balcony was small. Standing side by side, there was barely any space between us. One wrong move and we'd be brushing shoulders.

Looking closely… this was the first time I'd seen her in pajamas.

"D-did you want to tell me something, Destroyer-sama?" Ruru whispered softly, eyes fixed on the horizon.

"N-not really. Just… was gonna ask if you weren't cold in clothes that thin."

For some reason… I felt weird.

"A little. But the breeze feels more pleasant than bothersome." She inhaled slowly.

"...I see."

Maybe I should offer her the blanket too— but no. I wasn't planning on staying out here long anyway.

No point staying up all night.

"The night is beautiful… Sometimes I wonder how many stars there are in the sky…"

Her words caught me off guard.

"Stars? Does that even matter?"

She shot me a mildly annoyed look.

"Maybe not… but… does everything really have to matter?"

…Now I was intrigued.

"What do you mean? If it doesn't matter, then why waste our time on it?"

"..."

Ugh… guess I said something stupid.

"It's not like only big things have value, Destroyer-sama." She leaned slightly closer. "If everything was important all the time, nothing would stand out. Without the little things, the big ones wouldn't hit as hard."

"S-sure…"

What's with her tonight?

Normally I'd argue this to death. But now, I held back. Didn't feel like it'd go anywhere.

"..."

She rested her head on the railing and started watching the bustle in front of the tavern. She looked a little down… and I think that was my fault.

For a second, I thought about speaking up.

She'd come into the room just to keep me company. Even her attempt at small talk had been for my sake. The least I could do was return the gesture, right?

But staring at her, that same strangeness gnawed at me. My chest felt tight. Uncomfortable.

I couldn't hold it back.

"Hey, Ruru…" I murmured.

"Hm? What is it, Destroyer-sama?" She tilted her head, searching for my eyes. I turned away.

"Why are you always looking after me, Ruru?" I should've stopped there, but the words slipped out. "I mean… you already know, don't you? I'm not the Katou you remember."