Chapter 13 Part 1: A test

A steady knock resounded in the empty hall.

“Come in,” Amalie’s dampened voice invited. Jun pushed open the door, seeing the rune book where he had left it. The pile of completed paperwork and wax tablets had shifted across the desk. Amalie graced him with a smile.

“Well, did your excursion satisfy them?” Her eyes were slits as she brought her hands together, elbows resting on the wood, mouth hidden behind fingers. Jun tapped his foot at the entryway, a nervous habit from his old life. He straightened and strode in, clearing his head. Amalie watched, head tilting to the side as he walked to her desk instead of his study chair.

“I trusted you,” Jun said. Amalie’s eyes opened, glazing over to hide any reaction. “Why did you tell them?”

“Tell who, ‘what’, Jun?” Her hand rested before her, dropping so he could see the calm expression.

“About my faith,” Jun avoided the who first. If she had revealed it to anyone, he wanted to know. While coming back here, he wondered if Amalie had told others to help him. He hoped she hadn’t said anything more than she needed. Being confrontational like this… well, he wanted to force her into a corner. The image as she had stood against the Matriarch played out as she took the same expression.

“I haven’t told anyone, Jun.” Her voice was calm and collected. Jun was beginning to wonder if he should have thought this through a bit more. “You know as much as I how dangerous it would be to have people find out, particularly when your faith is so low.” Jun gritted his teeth. “And it would be a poor reflection on me to have others learn of it as well.” He hadn’t thought of that. “So who found out?” she asked, a simple curious tone lacing her words. Jun let out a sigh. He should have thought this through a bit more.

“Solara.”

‘Ah, her. She carries an artifact.’ Arnold appeared beside her. ‘Serena, the healing staff, if memory recalls correctly.’

“A healer?” Amalie hummed. “So what did you do to give yourself away?”

Jun’s shoulders rose as he shook his head. Amalie snapped her fingers and Arnold began his adulations once more before she cut him off, ordering him to connect with another artifact.

She promptly excused him and Jun collected his book, bitter that she had seen through his bluster, though not surprised. He let his feet carry him to his room, passing Mei’s who was closing the door as she offered him a sweet, ‘good night’. Jun returned the saying before he entered his room. The bed was far more luxurious, the drapes could be closed to offer him more privacy. A servant had cleaned the place and left a closed mug of water for him. Jun removed his shoes, before walking on the rug. The soft material felt wonderful on his exposed toes. He reveled in at as he put the book on a shelf and came to the edge of his bed. With a little finagling, he removed his shoulder cloak, eyes catching the sight of his burn marks. With his lowered faith they had become unsightly, another reminder of how far he had fallen.

Say a prayer of gratitude three times.

He snuffed at the notion. Like that would help. Still, it was so simple, so easy that if he did it and it didn’t work, he could ignore the advice and the interaction with Solara and Serena. Well, except he needed to understand how they’d found out.

Feeling self conscious, he looked around and closed the drapes. Then, with stilted movements, he knelt by the side of the bed, just like he had seen Ellen do so many times back on earth.

That thought made his heart skip. He missed her and felt frustrated. This was her thing, not his. Still, he was running out of ideas and one try couldn’t hurt.

“Silver Flame.” He voiced, not knowing if his mindful prayers would suffice. His throat seized. This was just… so ridiculous. While he fought the urge to stop, a warmth spread in his chest. With furrowed brow he continued, hoping that it would be enough of a test to prove it didn’t work and he wouldn’t have to do this anymore.

From his mouth tumbled out a few words. Gratitude for Mei, for finding his family, though there was heavy sarcasm that laced those words. His mind began to draw blanks as he considered what else to be grateful for.

He stopped there. Then grumbled. He hadn’t really tried. He started again. This time giving thanks for Amalie’s help, for entering the school. He didn’t know how Amalie had known to come to the Jinshari estate, but he was grateful she had. With another lapse, he stopped. A thought formed as he stayed there. There was one other thing he could be grateful for.

“I’m grateful that everyone is alive and well. I pray that we may meet again on more friendly terms.”

He waited. The normal amount of prayer circulated through him and he stored it away, heaving a heavy sigh as he rose from his spot. Opening the drapes he felt a slight tinge of regret. There was a part of him that hoped it would be as simple as saying those prayers. He had been reasonable though to curtail his expectations. He finished his routine and headed to bed, wondering how he could solve his dilemma.

With a weary heart, he dreamed of his days back on earth, sitting around a campfire and cooking the fish Ellen had caught with Zeke. Mei showed off a rope knot she had mastered while building the fire.

The memory stayed with him as he heard Ellen’s singing. This time, he joined in.

As morning came, his chest was heavy and his limbs refused to move. His eyes flashed open, seeking who held him down, expecting a Jinshari. However, no one was there. Jun tried to open his mouth to call out to Mei but the words died before leaving his lips. Everything was unnaturally cold.