Mo' Magic, Mo' Money, Mo' Problems

An elder mage sat across from Francisco. The differences between them were night and day. Francisco’s inadequate armor told the older wizard that he was still wet behind the ears. The elder mage, on the other hand, the wrinkles on his face shared his many adventures and knowledge. His robe showed intricacy in design as if magic sewed the threads itself; the robe breathed a glowing light.

Francisco sat in a pitch-dark room. Glowing wisps were floating around him that helped him see. Of course, he noticed the mage’s glowing robes, but his silky white beard was also visible in the dark. A blue orb spun around on the table between them. Francisco never saw anything so mesmerizing.

He swore it was similar to the crystal balls that fortune tellers use, but this specific sphere was difficult to look away from. The spinning colors inside the sphere created a calming sensation. Francisco didn’t get the chance to see the phenomenon, but he imagined this must be the world’s equivalent of the aurora borealis. The elder mage cleared his throat, causing Francisco to shudder slightly. The room had been eerily silent until then.

“Francisco Lincoln Alvear, you have chosen to visit the Department of Magic Assessment to hone the path of the magic arts,” the elder mage announced. The dancing wisps froze.

“Umm, yeah,” Francisco nodded.

“The sphere in front of you will test your arcane acuity and your arcane affinity! There is an assortment of elements, but only one may be your main study,” the elder mage stroked his beard. “Are you brimming with tenacity, much like the element of fire!? A stroke of light that gives warmth and heat, but can transition into a blazing inferno if you’re not too careful!”

The wisps turned red, almost giving off heat as they vibrated rapidly.

“Or does the healing properties of water call to you!? Control streams and droplets of nature’s natural resource! Though a supportive element, man is no match for a flood!”

The wisps turned blue, dropping the temperature to freezing as Francisco could see his own breath.

“If others refer to you as electrifying, then maybe the power of thunder will appear! The adrenaline of casting lightning is heavy! A stroke of flashing light that gives warmth and heat-”

“You’re repeating yourself,” Francisco chimed in.

“Please don’t interrupt me,” the elder mage frowned.

“Sorry.”

“A stroke of flashing light that gives warmth and heat, but can transition into a thunderstorm!”

The wisps turned yellow, they gave off an electric charge causing the hairs on Francisco’s arms to stand.

“There are many branches of elemental magic! But only one will be your main craft! The road of magic is studious yet full of grandeur! There will be a plethora of unworldly experiences awaiting you! Your mana will forever be your lifeline! Are you certain that you want to choose the path of a mage!?”

The wisps blinked numerous colors, almost like they were angry. Glowing shapes appeared on the wall, sliding and spinning around the two men. The air felt thick and unbreathable. Francisco found himself breathing heavily.

“Y-yes, I want to be a mage,” Francisco coughed.

“ARE YOU CERTAIN!? CAN YOU BEAR THE RESPONSIBILITY AND KNOWLEDGE OF THE MAGIC ARTS!?” The elder mage screamed.

“YES, I AM PREPARED FOR THE PATH OF THE MAGE!” Francisco tried to match the elder mage’s energy.

“THEN PUT YOUR HAND ON THE SPHERE AND SEE YOUR MAGIC POTENTIAL! WITNESS YOUR ARCANE AFFINITY!”

Francisco stared down at the glowing ball. Colors spun around quickly. It was almost like the inside of a kaleidoscope got swallowed by a laundromat washer. The entire room rumbled, and the sphere spun around haphazardly. Wisps flew around in every direction, emanating different degrees of temperature.

The financial advisor raised his hand and panted heavily. He slammed it down on the sphere.

Slap!

Pssst.

A gray cloud formed in the crystal ball before dissolving into nothing. The room immediately stopped shaking. The wisps dissipated, and the shapes froze.

The elder mage widened his eyes. “Wow, umm, can you try that again for me?”

“Huh?” Francisco questioned. He raised his hand and slammed it on the crystal ball again.

Slap!

Pssst.

A gray cloud appeared again only to turn into nothing.

“This has never happened before,” the elder mage laughed.

“Is this good?” Francisco raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, not at all. The sphere is saying you have absolutely zero potential for magic,” he chortled. “I have never seen someone score a zero!”

“Ok…” Francisco squinted his eyes.

“I’ve got to show somebody this! Maria!” The elder mage cupped his hands around his mouth and leaned back in his chair. It was then that the darkness in the room broke. A flash of light blinded Francisco as the black curtains opened up to reveal a younger woman (close to Francisco’s age) cloaked in magic garbs.

“Yes, what is it?” Maria politely asked.

“Check this out! It’s insane! In all my years, I have not seen anything like this!” The elder mage waved the younger mage to come closer to the table. “Go ahead, Fiscal.”

“That’s not my-… I don’t feel like-”

“Oh, c’mon! Do it for the lady, just put your hand on the ball again!” The older mage urged.

Francisco’s nostrils flared as he raised his hand again.

Slap!

Pffft.

Gray cloud went poof.

“No way! Zero!” Maria pushed her face closer to the sphere in astonishment.

“I know! Crazy, huh?” The elder mage smiled.

“I mean, children at least score a five, right?”

"Yeah, it’s a phenomenon. This guy is at least in his mid-thirties,” the elder mage stroked his beard.

“Okay,” Francisco slammed his hands on the table. “I am in my twenties, I am actually twenty-three!"

“Oh, tough break, kid,” the elder wizard frowned.

“No! No no no no! I’m not done. So is there any way that you can help me?”

“That’s not really our department. I would think that there’s nothing you can do with zero.”

“Great,” Francisco sarcastically responded. “Can I get my money back?”

“Uh, well, no?” The elder mage scratched his head. “We accessed your magic potential and your magic potential is zero.”

“Awesome. $500 to slap a crystal ball. This was very uneventful. The customer service was incredibly sub-par,” Francisco groaned and sat up.

“Look on the bright side. They say more magic brings more problems.”

“Who says that?”

“No one. I’m just trying to make you feel better. Using magic is phenomenal.”

“I am livid,” Francisco muttered. He proceeded to walk out but got stopped by the black curtains. The financial advisor tried to find an opening but ended up fighting it in a tantrum before light spilled into the room once again. “Get rid of these curtains!’

Francisco marched into the lobby and back outside. He took a deep breath. Swords and magic weren’t going to be his bread-making. So far, he had no income. His food and inn expenses were catching up to him. There was one more solution for him in this world. He aimed for this world’s version of a financial institution. “I can’t sling fireballs, but I can definitely balance a ledger!”