Chapter 23

Ever since I’d learnt how to transform into a human, I was always scared of how people would react.

The duchess, the first person I ever showed myself to, smiled sincerely at me.

“Wow, to think Raena was talking to such a cute girl all this time.”

I laughed it off, but I wanted to say “It wasn’t me but the fairy.”

Actually, hadn’t Raena described me to her mother before?

…Was she lying?

Those doubts were ever present wherever I went in my life, now and back then.

On Earth, I wasn’t popular or pretty or cute or anything remarkable.

I was just me, and I hated that.

When I saw my friends get boyfriends, I was always jealous, and they always reassured me I’d find someone one day.

Except, I didn’t.

I just passed through.

Changing ever so little and without anyone noticing I was there.

Well, eventually, I found my place in the world - it was in other worlds.

In games, I was always the protagonist, always sparkling and shining, and everyone loved and protected me.

I was beautiful, cute and graceful, fawned over by the most handsome and amazing men.

Here, the name Yuri Nakamura meant something.

She meant something.

As silly as it sounds, I felt more alive when I was playing games. I felt purpose, I felt wanted…

I felt happy.

Whenever school came, I went back to just me.

Just plain, simple, unremarkable me.

Eventually, my gaming obsession was discovered. The details escape me now, but I remember the ‘teasing’.

“Oh, wow, she’s played hundreds.”

“Gross.”

“Creepy.”

“Well, with a face like that, I guess that’s the only way she can date guys.”

“Do you think she touches herself playing them?”

“Shouldn’t you try harder to get a real boyfriend?”

Somehow, I’d forgotten all their faces, but I could always hear their voices.

Still, I didn’t stop going to school.

My friends stuck by my side, but then the classes changed and I was left alone.

I didn’t join any clubs or hang out with my friends - I just went home and played more and more.

But even that started to make me feel numb.

The stories weren’t exciting anymore.

It wasn’t fun imagining myself as the protagonist.

It was just something to occupy my time.

So, I started skipping through the parts that I found boring.

…I hate admitting to this, I did pray every night to be reborn into another world when I died.

I wanted to be the heroine.

I wanted to be special.

I wanted to be me.

I wanted to be loved.

But it didn’t work.

Life carried on, monotonously, day by day.

Just going through the exact same motions on every single day.

That was Yuri Nakamura’s life.

It was so unremarkable that I don’t even remember how I died.

Was it an earthquake?

Was it a hit and run?

Did I work too hard?

Did I even work?

All I know was that my life - the fairy’s life - started on the day Yui came into Raena’s life.

And…it was so much fun!

W-well, eventually at least.

Raena was super scary, cruel, quick to use violence, terrifying words and faces, but it was the first time in my life I ever felt truly…alive.

It was like I had a best friend, and then…

W-w-we-we! We became lovers!

I was so scared she’d dislike my old looks, but she lavished me with praise and KISSED ME!

In front of all those people too!

Somehow, I ended up a part of Raena’s harem and I didn’t hate it.

Why?!

…Is it because I’ve been brainwashed into believing otome game logic more than my world’s logic?

I would never deny my feelings for the villainess - or is she the ex-villainess now? - but then I stared hearing one question again and again in my mind.

Was I someone worthy to stay by her side?

Yui had wondered the same once upon a time and that motivated me to start learning magic, so I could be of some help, but-

“You aren’t very smart.”

Raena’s comments about my intelligence hurt way more than I thought.

I knew she was just being sarcastic and mean as part of our usual back and forth, but after I learnt transformation magic, I got scared.

Raena, Yui, Victoria and the people at the Armina duchy would accept me, but what would-?

I got a small preview of my future school life at Raena’s birthday party.

The negative remarks came from only a handful of guests, but they were just like the ones I’d heard back on Earth.

They stung.

They hurt so much because those comments were only about me.

It was always me.

Why was it always me?

Why was it only me who had to go through this?

When we started going to school, I reverted back to how I used to be.

I became that quiet, shy, unremarkable Yuri Nakamura.

The fairy wasn’t like this.

She was free, loud, outspoken and unique.

Would it be better if she was here?

First, it was snide or mean comments behind my back.

Then, it was to my face whenever Raena, Yui or Victoria weren’t around.

“Who do you think you are?”

“Probably some commoner Lady Raena took pity on.”

“If you were smart, you wouldn’t cling to the crown prince’s bride’s dress. She’ll simply discard you once she’s married.”

“To think someone as hideous and simple as you managed to get admitted.”

“If she has any sense, she’ll drop out soon enough.”

I wanted to stand strong and just endure their hatred, but I couldn’t.

I kept my head down and said nothing.

Not to them, not to Yui or Victoria, and not to Raena.

“What’s wrong?” Raena would ask every so often, but I never answered.

Did she really not know what I was going through and putting up with every day?

Or did she know and just not care?

…Did I mean so little-?

NO!

I snapped myself out of that downwards spiral.

Raena loved me and I loved her.

This is Raena von Armina we’re talking about.

She must have a plan of some description, but what could it be?

Why would she leave the people bullying me alone?

They hid, damaged or destroyed some of my things, and I paid a lot to replace them. I did try to keep some evidence, but it disappeared.

Sometimes, Victoria would step out during breaks but not for very long. Yui seemed to go somewhere right after school, though Raena never asked where or why.

Raena and Yui were both sis-cons, though Yui seemed to be worse (on the outside at least). There’s no way the doting Raena wouldn’t question where Yui was going, unless she already knew or if she had been ordering Yui to do something.

What was the truth?

Was there something I needed to do, or was my role to wait for something?

That belief in Raena was what kept my heart from shattering.

It was hard, but I kept faith.

After all, this was Raena.

I trusted the woman I loved.

Time passed on and on towards the freshmen’s ball.

Strangely, it was always held during the 4th week of the new school year as opposed to the 1st.

Why?

Well, in the game, it was to give the heroine time to meet all of the male leads.

Here, however, it just didn’t make sense.

It also didn’t make sense to me that Raena, Yui, Victoria and I were all wearing the same style of dresses but different colours.

PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS PART OF THE PLAN!

I looked worriedly at Raena, but she just smiled happily, red cheeked, at me.

…Mother, Father, how are you?

Your daughter, Yuri Nakamura, might die tonight...again.