An open heart

However, I was struck by another interesting detail.

“Am I correct that the common religious belief here is of polytheistic nature?” I asked without much thought.

Al’Reeza looked at me, bewildered.

“What?!”

Oh dear! Focus, Vilém, focus! Context!

“In my world there are religions believing in many gods and goddesses. That’s called ‘polytheism’.” I explained.

“But there are also religions who just believe in one singular god. That's called ‘monotheism’. Many people don't believe in any deity, that’s called ‘atheism’.”

The daimon girl listened with growing disbelief on her face.

“The poor people!” she exclaimed. “Just what do they believe in anyway?”

I shrugged.

“That’s vastly different. Most believe in money, wealth, power, political influence or social status. These are in my eyes the most deplorable.”

A multitude of expressions flashed across Al’Reeza’s face. But she just said:

“Agreed!”

You can’t believe what range of emotion was condensed in just this one short word!

“But there are also others: very rational people, mostly scientists, who believe in the power of knowledge, rationality, mathematics and science. They are sure, the world and its phenomena can be explained completely without any higher beings or deities. In their worldview gods and goddesses are simply redundant and therefore unneeded.”

Still Al’Reeza's face showed a wild mix of emotions, indicating severe inner turmoil.

“Sounds to me no less deplorable.” she stated flatly.

“And may I ask: What do you believe in?”

Funny thing: in Central Europe, where I am from, religion and religious beliefs are absolute non-topics in most conversations (like death, afterlife, space exploration, parallel worlds etc.). Most people are very skilled in weaving around these themes, so most of the time I was alone with my thoughts about religion, god and belief. But I’ve reflected very long and hard on these topics and was glad I could finally share them.

“Don’t be too shocked, but I’m not what you’d call a ‘believer’. I simply can't accept a claim, a statement or a teaching I’ve not also verified myself. My background and my upbringing was monotheistic, but all their claims of the one, singular god lacked proper grounding. This grounding I found in science, but science can't answer the last big questions: what is it in the end, that holds the universe or multiverse together? Why does it exist? What is the true meaning of existence? Science ends at the boundary of form and matter and is therefore too limited to properly answer these big questions.”

“Pardon, but where do you find solace then?” interrupted Al’Reeza who’d patiently listened up to this point.

“I never cease to ask, until I find some answer I cannot question anymore.” I answered simply. “Or if you want to put it this way: I’m a believer in experience.”

I pointed into the endless icefield surrounding us.

“When I see these skîbæriaen plains and let me fall into this view, diving deep into it until there is nothing else but white, endless emptiness, I feel myself dissolving together with my fears, my hopes, my aspirations, my dreams, it all comes to a standstill, to peace.”

I paused shortly.

“A little bit differently is my experience with building or crafting something.” I resumed my thoughts.

“I can get such vivid pictures of machines in my mind that my hands know exactly without thinking what they have to do to build it, as if they are guided by something out of my control. Everything falls into place as it should with such precision that I can even do test runs in my mind to verify, if there aren’t any flaws. Of course that can’t replace real world testing. That would be irresponsible!”

Again I paused, and Al’Reeza still listened patiently.

“But regardless of these two seemingly opposite states of mind, I experience a deep, indescribable peace and happiness in them. I often ask myself if these feelings can’t be transferred into everyday life with its tasks, but that doesn’t seem possible. These two worlds are too different to connect with each other, and so I’m a wanderer wherever I am, here or on earth, condemned to slip from one into the other without being able to properly settle into one of them.”

I didn't know what else to say, as these things are really difficult to describe (and moreso, nobody wants to talk about them, as I’ve often painfully experienced!), so I fell into a silence that Al’Reeza respectfully shared. Finally she stated, her voice raw with emotion:

“Vilém, I think you are a mystic. An incredibly gifted crafter and mystic. I think I’m beginning to see why the golden dragon was so interested in you. And what I have missed at our first encounter.”

I wasn’t keen to remember that experience, but so was she regarding the golden dragon!

“But you lack proper training.” she added, breaking the silence once more. “You are entirely self taught in the way of mystics, and that path is immensely laborious and slow, sometimes even dangerous if you walk it all alone. So if it’s alright for you, I could introduce you to a mystic colony my magic teacher knows very well. It might help you to find at least some of the answers that burn so hotly in your soul.”

I was moved beyond words! What could I say?

“Thank you!” I finally managed to croak. “Thank you for extending your hand so generously to a stranger, who isn't even from this world!”

“And yet we are already deeply connected, even though it’d happened through an act of violence I can’t apologize enough for.”

“It was incredibly painful, I must admit that.” I answered.

“But I understand the situation you were in. It was an accident, you already apologized and helped me so much out of your way and are continuing to help me in means nobody has ever helped me. Except perhaps my master.”

“Ah yes, your master!” she interjected. “You already told Yára a bit about him, but you never got to conclude it. May I ask, if you want to continue your story with him?”

I sighed.

“Of course, what do you wanna know?”

“Why is he so special to you? What was his teaching?”

I shrugged.

“That’s easy. In a world with a crooked education system he was the only one who could really teach me something of actual worth. To be specific: he taught me the basics of engineering and the fundamentals of crafting. To me that was something special, although objectively it was nothing special.”

I paused.

“But he also took care of me personally. I left my parents when I was eighteen, because I couldn’t stand any longer that they constantly wanted to mold me to their expectations and beliefs - which were by the way terribly superficial and shallow.”

I shuddered at the memory!

“My master not only taught me how to build and how to craft, he also took me in and showed me at least a little bit how people and society work and how to properly deal with it. Because as good as I was at crafting and inventing, I always was bad with people, social situations and society as a whole.”

The daimon girl next to me moved, surprised.

“You don’t say?” she said with genuine disbelief. “I’ve never met a human as interesting and captivating as you!”

I laughed bitterly.

“Thank you! But you see: it takes a daimon to tell what no human could've ever said to me!”

Al’Reeza stepped closer.

“I hope that doesn’t diminish the value of what I’ve told you.”

I shook my head.

“No! Never! I’m incredibly grateful! I just took that as an example to show that I don’t belong among ‘normal’ people, humans, social situations, whatever. But as it looks, I seem to thrive under unusual circumstances and non-humans.”

She cast me an unreadable look.

“Well, if that’s true, why do you even strive to return to your old world?”

I fell silent. Never had I thought about not trying to find a way back home! It was like a reflex, this seeking to return to the known and familiar circumstances, despite them not being ideal, sometimes even painful. But what did I know of this new world anyhow? I’ve met three people, beings, persons, whatever so far, four if you count the golden dragon. But what about the others? It was really far-fetched to already make a conclusion based only from my experiences so far!

Why would Al’Reeza then ask such a question? Did she have some hidden, underlying intentions? I studied her face with its exotic beauty, red skin, high cheekbones, golden, slitted eyes and spiralling horns, but couldn’t find anything except open, unfiltered curiosity and expectation in her gaze.

“Hey!” broke the deep, rough, bestial voice of Lily the reverie from the rear. “What are you doing Reeza? Concentrate! You’re off course!”