Between Pain and Madness — Chapter 24

Renji rested his head against the cold wall of the cell. The metal of the chains cut into his skin, and every breath felt heavy. His leg throbbed, the makeshift bandage was already soaked with blood, and the damp smell of the prison dulled his senses.

He tried to find a less painful position, but the chains held him to the stone like an insect on a web. He lifted his gaze toward the narrow bars, through which the moonlight barely reached. He felt trapped like an animal, with no way out.

He bit his lip, and his thoughts spun chaotically. The image of the tavern haunted him relentlessly: the smell of blood, the fallen bodies, his own helplessness. He remembered the moment he was almost pierced and every second he had felt death close.

“If Ubik… if Ubik had intervened…” he murmured to himself, almost voiceless. “I wouldn’t be here.”

He clenched his fists, but the chains immediately rattled, slicing through his thought.

He had trusted him. He had believed that voice would guide him to a chance. And yet, all he had gained was a deep wound, three moments where his life could have ended, and now a prison that smelled of death.

Rage bubbled in his chest, mixed with a bitter taste of betrayal.

He tried to keep his eyes open, but exhaustion and the fever from his wound pushed him toward darkness. His body slowly gave in, and his mind sank into a heavy fog. The chains seemed more distant, the walls vanished, and the pain faded into a background murmur.

Then the voice spoke.

— “Renji…”

His eyes moved beneath his eyelids, immediately recognizing the voice.

— “Ubik…” he answered in his mind, with bitter tension. “Why didn’t you help me at the tavern?”

The voice stayed calm, but cold.

— “It wasn’t my business.”

Renji felt the anger rise in his chest.

— “It wasn’t your business? I trusted you. And because of that, I nearly died three times! Because of the tavern, because of the chaos, now I’m chained. All because I followed what you told me.”

A moment of silence fell, as if Ubik weighed his words.

— “I don’t owe you survival. I only give you power. You choose how to use it.”

Renji ground his teeth.

— “Your power brought me here. If that’s all you have to offer, then it’s worthless.”

The voice darkened, heavy, like an echo inside his skull.

— “Without me, you would have died long ago. Without me, you wouldn’t even have lifted your sword against demons. You say it’s my fault, but the truth is, you were never ready to pay the price.”

Renji felt his blood boil.

— “And the price is what, Ubik? To lose everything? To be hunted, bound, humiliated? If this is your power, then it’s a curse.”

Ubik laughed shortly, a laugh that made Renji tremble.

— “Exactly. It is a curse. And you accepted it when you let me in. Don’t forget that, Renji. I didn’t choose you. You called me.”

Renji stayed silent, suffocated by anger and helplessness. The voice continued to press on him.

— “Now you’re in chains and accuse me. But your chains are not iron, they are your choices. When you understand that, maybe you’ll be ready to ask for my help again.”

Renji gathered his remaining strength and spoke again, determined, with a lump in his throat.

— “Listen to me, Ubik. Maybe I needed you until now, but it’s over. I refuse to listen to you anymore. If I escape from here, if Tiberku or anyone else helps me, I swear I will never use your power again.”

A shiver ran through his mind, heavy, like a vibration. Ubik’s voice grew more pressing, but no longer cold, almost painful.

— “If you abandon me, Renji, you will never find peace. I am the only one who can give you calm after all you’ve lost. If you reject me, you will remain with your emptiness, with your fear, until the end. You will suffer endlessly.”

Renji clenched his fists and gritted his teeth.

— “I don’t care. If all you give me is suffering and chains, then I’d rather fight without you. I’d rather bleed freely than live bound to your voice.”

A heavy silence fell. Renji felt Ubik listening, but not responding. Finally, the thought that had tormented him since the tavern burst forth.

— “Then tell me something. Did you hear what I said to the demon in front of the tavern?”

No immediate answer came. The voice disappeared, as if driven away. Silence stretched until Renji thought the dream had ended. Then Ubik reappeared, dry and pressing.

— “If you abandon me… then I will speak no more. And you will discover for yourself what it means to have no answers.”

The echo of those words shattered in his mind, and darkness fell completely.

— “Wake up, you bastard!”

Renji’s eyes opened, blurred with fatigue. A massive guard, with a scarred face and armor stained with dirt, glared at him with obvious hatred.

— “So this is the one who spread talk throughout Marvek?” the guard spat. “A fugitive who killed his sister, brought death to his best friends in a tavern, and caught Kaizen’s attention. Do you know who I am? I am a soldier who lost two brothers in that chaos. And you’re the only one still breathing from there. Do you know what that means to me?”

Renji tried to respond, but the guard struck his stomach with a powerful punch. Air left him instantly, and pain pierced him.

— “No answer? Then I’ll show you the difference between us. I decide whether you breathe until tomorrow.”

He grabbed Renji by the chin, lifted his face, then drew a short serrated knife. The cold blade touched his neck.

— “A man like you doesn’t deserve judgment. He deserves to be torn apart until nothing remains.”

The guard began cutting slowly on Renji’s arm, without releasing him from the chains. Each deep scratch made him moan. Blood flowed in thin streams, and pain flooded his mind.

— “Feel that? This is just the beginning. To me, you’re a carcass I can unravel at will. You’re not a warrior, you’re a trapped animal.”

Renji tried to look away, but the guard slapped him across the face with a heavy palm.

— “Don’t look away! I want you to feel every moment. I want the difference between us to sink into your flesh!”

The knife sank again and again, cutting small pieces of flesh. The pain spread like fire, consuming his entire body. He breathed heavily, dizzy, each cut an explosion of torment.

The guard removed his glove and pressed the wound with his filthy hand. Renji screamed, feeling infection and the soldier’s dirt burn his flesh like fire.

— “This is punishment. No court, no words, only pain. You’re just a lost cause. When I’m done with you, you won’t even know your own name.”

Renji tried to resist, but his brain wavered. Every nerve burned. He felt himself tearing inside, his mind giving way.

The guard took a metal rod heated in fire and pressed it directly to his chest. The smell of burnt flesh filled the cell. Renji screamed until his voice broke, tears streaming down his face.

— “I told you! The difference between us is simple. I’m the executioner, you are the victim. And that’s how it will remain until you die.”

Renji tried to latch onto a thought, anything, but the pain shredded him completely. A roar filled his ears, and the world began to darken.

In the last moments of consciousness, the only thing he felt was madness. The guard’s voice, his own screams, the smell of blood and burning flesh merged into a living nightmare. He felt his mind breaking, one wrong move pushing him fully into insanity.

Renji’s screams faded into the echo of the cold walls, but to him they seemed eternal. Each cut, each burn, each blow added until pain had no shape. It was an ocean swallowing him.

The guard laughed shortly and heavily, like an animal savoring its prey.

— “Look at yourself. Do you think you’re a fighter? You’re just a chained child. See, that’s the difference between us. I have power, you have nothing. Not even yourself.”

Renji wanted to speak, spit, scream, but no words came. His lips trembled, his throat locked. Air entered with a noise, as if each breath were a knife.

The guard drove the knife between his ribs and twisted slowly, almost with pleasure.

— “Feel it reach the bone? That’s how death will feel. Slow, unforgiving. No need to slit your throat, you’ll drown in torment before I finish.”

Renji screamed briefly, feeling his mind shatter. The world darkened, but in that darkness images appeared: flames, unknown faces, red eyes. A voice echoed somewhere, but he couldn’t tell if it was Ubik or just the madness gnawing inside.

— “Renji…”

He didn’t know if he truly heard it or imagined it. The guard continued to strike him, but in his mind two worlds began to merge. One real, where his flesh melted under the heated rod. Another where shadows whispered meaningless words.

The guard lifted the rod again and struck his face. Pain exploded in his skull.

— “You will fall to your knees, even in chains! And when you want to die, I will remind you that I showed you the truth!”

Renji barely felt the difference between cold and heat, between cut and burn. Everything was a whirlwind. His eyes rolled back, saliva mixed with blood, and each moment pushed him closer to madness.

He tried to breathe deeply, but his body no longer obeyed. Yet in the chaos of pain, one thought lodged deep: if he survives, he swore he would not forget the guard’s face. He swore he would tear him apart, with or without Ubik’s guidance.

The guard paused for a moment, panting, watching the blood on the floor and the trembling body before him. He wiped his face and smiled, as if satisfaction filled him with energy.

— “You’re not dead yet. Good. That means I still have time to have fun with you tomorrow. And the day after. Until you beg me to end you quickly.”

He delivered one last boot to Renji’s chest, leaving him breathless, then stood and left the cell, slamming the iron door.

Renji lay suspended from the chains, almost unconscious. His flesh burned, blood dripped steadily, and his mind wavered between darkness and hallucinations.

A short, crooked smile appeared on his lips, though he didn’t know why. He was on the edge of madness and felt one more step would break him forever.

The real world began to dissolve. The cell walls faded like smoke, and the stone floor turned into a red field, full of boiling blood.

His breathing was ragged, but in his ears there was only a constant roar, like a broken bell. His eyes moved chaotically, and the shadows in the corners of the cell stretched, taking shape.

Suddenly, the guard was no longer a guard. In front of him appeared a huge figure, with red eyes and sharp fangs, dripping blood. It grinned widely, like a demon descended from hell.

— “See, Renji? This is your reality…” the voice whispered. He didn’t know if it was Ubik or something else. “Everyone is a demon. Everyone wants to tear your flesh. You will never find peace.”

Renji tried to respond, but his mouth only let out a broken groan. His teeth rattled in his mouth, blood streaming down his chin.

The shadows now surrounded him, whispering in different tones. “Traitor. Prey. Nothing.” The voices multiplied until they became a chorus of madness.

He felt his chains burning on his skin, as if made of fire. He pulled at his arms desperately, but the harder he tried to escape, the tighter they squeezed, tearing his flesh.

In front of him, the blood from his own wounds pooled and began to move. A face formed, with black eyes and an open mouth, staring directly at him.

— “Renji…” the blood murmured. “Call Ubik. Otherwise, you will die now. Here. Alone.”

Renji felt his heart explode in his chest. He bit his lip, the taste of blood pushing him further into delirium. He heard his own name shouted from all directions.

His head shook, trying to drive away the visions, but they became clearer. The guard returned in front of him, but no longer human, a nightmare creature, skin torn, knife transformed into a giant claw. It approached slowly, smiling, as if the torture had only begun.

Renji tried to scream, but a short, mad laugh escaped his throat. He no longer knew if he was crying or laughing, if the world was real or a dream.

One thought pierced his madness: “If Ubik listened now, I would tear apart everything I see…”

At that moment, the voice he had rejected earlier returned, stronger, terrifyingly calm.

— “You said you would abandon me, Renji. And yet, here you are, calling for my presence. Not your words call me, but your pain. You are mine, whether you accept it or not.”

The world sank into dense darkness, and Renji lost all sense of time. A fire clenched his chest, an abyss filled his mind. Between life and death, between man and monster, all that remained was Ubik’s voice.

Ubik’s voice spoke one last time, like a deep echo fading slowly:

— “Rest, Renji. When you wake, you will be closer to me.”

Renji tried to murmur something, but his tongue locked, and his body relaxed suddenly. His head fell to one side, blood dripping slowly onto the cold floor.

Darkness enveloped him completely. No pain, no shadows, only a forced, deep, cold sleep.

Renji fell asleep, unconscious, trapped between chains and the voice that still breathed in his mind