Second Luck

Even though the fighting was over, Shen was very quiet. He had lost his brother and friends, but at last it was over. In the dark jungle, he stood next to his brother's dead body. Lina's hands were tightly gripping Shen's arm at that point, and her breathing sped up all of a sudden. Her eyes twitched with pain and opened wide with fear.

"Shen... the baby..." Lina writhed in pain and groaned.

When Shen saw the pain on his wife's face, he panicked. The baby came too soon. This life, which was just beginning, suddenly turned into a new fight. They didn't have time to waste. Lina was quickly put on Shen's horse, and they rode off toward town. He ran quickly through the dark forest paths, pushing the horse hard.

He remembered the last moments with Geno, the things they talked about that made him feel bad, and the many lives lost in the war. A hollow ache filled his chest. The voices in his head were tearing him apart: his brother, his friends, and the deaths of everyone in the battle... Was he the one who made it happen? If he had made different choices at the start, they might not have had to go through as much pain. But he didn't try to defend any of it. He could only admit that the choices he had made had led him to this point. But now Lina and their child were his biggest test. He had to fight again to keep the people he loved.

As the horse got closer to town, Shen finally made it to the house of a local midwife.
Lina's contractions got worse once she was inside. Things were moving quickly now that work had started. Shen knew he had to trust the midwife. Shen had to wait outside while Lina was brought into the room where she would give birth. The cries of pain and labor that came from inside him tore his heart apart. He felt weak and hated himself.

For a minute, all of the bad thoughts that were racing through his head were replaced by intense interest and excitement. The baby's cry brought new hope.

A little while later, the door opened, and Lina, who was tired but smiling, picked up the baby. As Shen walked into the room, he looked at Lina with tears in his eyes. She whispered, "Our son," as she held the baby out to him.

Shen couldn't help but cry as he held the baby. He whispered, "It was all my fault," and his voice shook with regret. "I am responsible for the deaths of so many people, including my brother and friends."

Before Lina answered, Shen's mind went back to the forest and the blood on his hands. He remembered that they had taken the same trip and that Geno had said he was killing himself by killing his brother. Did Geno's death really change the course of his life, or did it leave a permanent mark on his soul? He had to keep going no matter what.

Lina never took her eyes off Shen. She looked at the baby and began to speak softly in a gentle but curious voice. "I thought everything you said was crazy when I first met you," she said. "But Shen, I still believed in you. I met someone who was so determined to do good in a world that seemed cruel and overwhelming. You convinced me that there might still be hope, even though we were about to give up.

Her eyes moved from the baby to Shen and then back down. Now that it's all over, do you wish you hadn't done what you did to get here? Do you think that every choice is pointless because you have blood on your hands? Or can you accept that none of us made it through this without getting hurt?

Shen turned to Lina with tears still in his eyes. He felt terrible guilt. "I did it just to escape hell," he said without thinking. "I think I lied to you when I said I would try to change." I don't think I've changed very much. I can't act like I don't feel bad about killing my brother and starting so many wars.

Lina looked lovingly into Shen's eyes and silently asked for the truth. "Shen, it doesn't matter why you did it as long as you know the truth. You made the right choice. No matter how bad things may be, you did the right thing. But isn't there more to it than that? You weren't fighting just to get back at yourself or to defend a sense of justice. You fought because you secretly thought that saving even one life made a difference.

When she stopped, her voice shook with emotion. "You care, so you ask yourself questions." If you had no regrets or doubts, I would be more afraid of the man you would become. But the fact that you feel bad and guilty shows that you're still a person who wants to make things right. That's what gave our child and me this second chance.

He asked, "Do you really think so?" in a weak and sad voice. He remembered Geno's last accusations: that Shen had killed a version of himself. Would that reflection ever make him feel better?

Lina kept going as she looked at the baby, her eyes full of love. "You saved my child's life and mine. We wouldn't have had another chance. Shen, you saved us. You gave us hope even though you've lost so much, and the pain may never go away completely.

What she said made Shen's heart race. So much pain, loss, and trouble... The helpless baby he held in his arms gave him a reason to live. Shen finally gave himself a moment of acceptance, even though he still felt guilty. His actions were now a part of who he was, and there was no way to rationalize or get rid of them. When he looked at the small figure, his eyes filled with tears, but they were tears of joy, not sadness.

Shen said to himself, "I can't change the past." I can't bring the dead back to life or stop the pain. But maybe that doesn't mean that everything I did was for nothing. I have to take every punishment. Just accept that it happened and move on without trying to figure it out. Maybe the fact that this child can grow up in a better world is enough reason to keep trying.

The baby slept well in Shen's arms. Shen forgot all of his evil plans for a short time. He could tell that things were changing for him, Lina, and the baby. He was still ashamed, but for the first time, he thought the scar could be healed. The baby had become a symbol for him to keep fighting, even though he didn't know why he had been taken this far. He was now hopeful about the future.

"Doing the right thing can hurt sometimes, but it's still the right thing to do."