Why’s Everything Got to Be So Damn Boring!?

This world is at peace. There's nothing to worry about—no fighting, no famine, no disease. Nothing.

It's lame!

I cried out, fist clenched, face to the forest canopy. The sun filtered through the leaves, casting a pleasant warmth onto my cheeks. The breeze rustled my cloak and played gently with my hair. It was a perfect day, and its perfection was really pissing me off.

Behind me, I heard the dry voice of my companion, a witch called Marigold. The name really didn't suit her, as nothing about her was bright or cheery or particularly flowerlike. "Got it all out of your system?" she asked.

I glared back at her. "It doesn't sit right with me," I said. "Why's everything got to be so damn boring?" I had lived for 26 years in this pitiful world, and I was sick of it. There's a restlessness that arises from absolute peace. Some are able to rid themselves of that restlessness or fight it back with basic tasks or hobbies, but not I. I longed for deeper meaning—adventure, conflict, hidden truths. I knew that there was something beneath the veneer. There had to be! It went against human nature to exist so simply and without question! "Well, it's fine," I said. "I'll do it myself—I'll make the world open its eyes! After all, that is my duty as a Holy Knight."

"That's just something you made up," retorted Marigold, showing not even the slightest sign of excitement or curiosity. I told her to be silent. Every title and order is merely something that someone made up once long ago, after all. All I had to do to prove the existence of a Holy Knight was to become one—with time, my escapades and accomplishments would define the concept! I had tried explaining things like this to Marigold the day before, but she seemed immune to philosophy. I made an attempt to capture her interest with some ontological quandary regarding the nature of magic, but at the end of it all she just asked if she'd get paid more for listening to my "crazy talk." As much as I would've liked to have someone to discuss the mysteries of the universe with, I didn't have the liberty of bestowing additional funds just for her feigning interest in my thoughts. I hired Marigold for her magic anyway, not her conversational skills.

We reached a small clearing in the forest. In the center of the clearing was a large stone. I had noticed on a previous hike that this stone had some strange markings carved on it. As far as I knew, these markings weren't language or even magic. Truly unknown things were a rarity, and so I returned to the clearing often to examine the stone and its surroundings, hoping to find some lead in my quest for hidden truths. However, I quickly realized that I was not qualified in the ways of magic or linguistic history, so I could not rely on myself to accurately appraise the nature of the markings, and that is why I needed to hire a mage. Luckily, Marigold came to town just a few weeks later looking to find work after graduating from her apprenticeship, and so I had offered her a short-term position to assist in my mission.

"This is the place," I said, walking up and gesturing to the stone. Marigold inspected the carved symbols for some time before shaking her head in confusion. "I can't make this out. I've studied the ancient languages and various forms of magic inscription, but this is something completely different." She cocked her head, thinking. I asked if she could do some kind of spell. Marigold seemed annoyed, and asked what kind of spell I meant. I said that I wasn't really sure what kind of spell I meant, but that she must have something that could analyze the markings or activate them, somehow.

"You really don't know much about magic, do you?" she said. "You can't just analyze something without at least knowing what you're looking for." I told her we were looking for hidden truths, but she said that was too vague. Apparently it only works if you're doing something like dowsing for water or pinpointing the location of an internal injury. Whatever. I've no interest in such things. I told Marigold to just pump some magic into the stone to see if anything would happen. She didn't react for a moment. Surely she was caught off guard by my genius—no, it seemed not. She gave me a disgusted sidelong stare.

"We don't know what this is. It could really do anything," she said. Marigold clearly was a little uneasy about the whole thing. She had probably never seen anything she couldn't easily understand before.

"But, that's why we have to find out!" I proclaimed. "We'll learn something new, maybe something that can make life a little more interesting! And, you know, if we end up dying, we'll get to see what lies beyond this realm! Though, I've never heard of any magic that kills people. We're... probably safe, right?" Marigold still looked uncomfortable, but I egged her on again.

"Double my pay," she said, staring at the stone.

"Double!? You insult me! This may change the world, and here you are trying to—"

"Double or nothing, Godwin." 

I sighed. It seemed that there was no other choice. I couldn't just give up now. I reluctantly agreed to Marigold's ridiculous upcharge, but not without making an offhand comment about her caring for money and nothing else, which she did not appreciate. Glaring at me, Marigold told me to stand back, and she planted her staff in the soil. She breathed deeply with a wide stance, and the breeze began to pick up. Her hair and cloak fluttered as her staff started to glow a cold blue. Tendrils of light crept out from the glowing staff and arced through the air, pouring magical energy into the stone.

I looked on expectantly, and perhaps for the first time in my life I was truly excited by the sight of magic being done. But, soon Marigold stopped, and nothing of interest had happened... no, wait! I couldn't believe my eyes; The stone was still glowing, even after the magic had dissipated! "Marigold, it's glowing! The stone is glowing! Can—Do you think I can touch it?"

Marigold sighed. "Knock yourself out." Really? She wasn't going to scold me? Well, I couldn't turn down such a rare opportunity. I reached out, and gently, as if touching a lover for the first time, I placed my trembling hand on the stone. My proverbial affection was quickly proven unrequited as a jolt of pain shot through my arm, sending me tumbling onto my backside with a grunt. Marigold stifled a laugh. I looked up to see her smirking. "Finally, Marigold—now you see!" She quickly turned away, hiding her face. "Oh, you turn away, but I see right through you. You and I have shared in witnessing something henceforth unknown! A mysterious energy, emanating from this stone. Whatever could it be?" Marigold snorted, looked back down at me, and burst into laughter.

"It's not the stone, you idiot!" she blurted out in between breaths. "I just shot it up with magic; it's completely normal for it to glow! It's just a normal rock! It's just a normal rock."

Ah. So it was just a normal rock. That spark of unadulterated thrill I felt was nothing special. That sudden shooting pain that sent my body down but my spirits so, so high was merely the residual magic of a perfectly ordinary witch who was now in an uncharacteristically good mood, wiping tears from her eyes and sighing out the last of her laughter. Feeling defeated, I slumped onto my back, staring up at the bright blue sky peeking through the canopy. I reached up, grasping at the air, as if I could somehow take the sky and tear it down. With a sigh, I let my arm drop back down and hit the dirt. The earth was cool.

Marigold spoke. "Hey, don't worry about the double pay thing, OK? I haven't laughed this hard in ages. Plus, I feel bad for you." I could hear the smirk on her voice. My pride was being chipped away. Marigold appeared above me, offering a hand to help me up. I looked at her hand, then at her face. Her slight smile was welcoming, but in her eyes was pity. Her hair waved softly, and combined with the soft light that shone through only at the edges of her rather small form, it gave the impression of light glittering beneath the surface of clear blue seawater. 

Time seemed to slow. I gazed into Marigold's eyes, and she gazed back. For a moment, my mind was blank. Then, from someplace deep within my being, a flame of emotion burst forth, burning up everything: my disappointment, my frustration, my doubts—all incinerated in a blazing surge of passion! All that remained was one single, powerful, feeling that grew and grew until I could contain it no longer, and it rose quickly from my core, escaping my lips:

"Marigold, you're blocking out the sun."

"What?" Her expression quickly changed to one of confusion. Clearly, she didn't see the metaphorical significance of the situation.

"You're blocking out the sun," I repeated. "You stand over me, offering your kindness, but for your sympathy I cannot see the light! If I were to take your hand now, I would be giving up, renouncing my Holy Knighthood... I would be forever confined to grovel in the shadow of the common folk who think not of reality, but only of whatever they themselves can see and touch. So this stone was nothing! So I made a mockery of myself—and what of it! My faith and ambition are unbound by the confines of this limited world! The sky, the endless sky beyond the sky, past the curtain hung by the divine to keep us from seeing too far—that is what I seek. So away with your condolences, Marigold. They are blocking out the sun."

I climbed to my feet, dusting off my clothes as Marigold stepped awkwardly to the side. Her default demeanor had returned, but at this point my resolve was firm—I could put up with her blank stares and dry attitude so long as I remained steadfast in my pursuit of the world's true nature.

"Now," I said, "Despite all that, I can admit that today's excursion has been an utter failure. But, perhaps failure is the first step to success. There is yet more to explore; I'm sure we will come across something of interest if we continue our efforts. Shall we return to the tavern, assess our options...?"

Marigold just stood in place, thinking. I asked if something was wrong, fearing that my single-minded determination had proved to be too much for her. She inhaled deeply, her eyes closed, before shaking her head with a sigh. "Look, uh. You're a real weirdo," she said, as if simply stating a fact. To me it seemed the opposite: everyone else was strange for their lack of ennui in this boring world, and I was the only normal one. But, I knew there was no point in saying so, and I let Marigold continue: "Really, I should be helping people in the village, not going on this wild goose chase. But... I can't lie. I still don't understand you, at all, but part of me enjoyed this."

"The part of you that likes watching grown men fall flat on their asses?"

"Yes, I suppose it would be that part," she answered. It was embarrassing to have made a mockery of myself like that, but I thought that it was better to be laughed at than to be hated, at least. Even if Marigold was only in this for the schadenfreude, that was fine...

"So," I said, "You'll keep helping me?"

"If you keep paying me." 

...and even if she was only in this for the money, well, that was fine too. I was certain that in due time she would see the light. After all, she'd be the one to help me uncover it.