Eleanor Rigby

"Joy. I know this is not the right moment. But I'm really sorry. I didn't want you to stop singing altogether."

She was quiet against my chest. Probably all out of tears. She looks up, in my eyes and then to Biel, who had moved to the base of a nearby tree and is sitting with his hand in his head, almost hiding from the universe. And finally to the dead body right behind me.

"Aaah. Look at all the lonely people."

Her voice cracks without getting out a single verse. 

I conclude for her: 

"Where dooo they all belong?"

We were in this mood for at least one hour. I couldn't shake the feeling that it could've been any of us. It could've been me. Dead. Surrounded only by complete strangers. Nothing was achieved, he didn't even fill the Jaguar's belly. 

How would his parents feel? How would I even find them? How would I even break it to them: "Hey, you know your kid. His death was pointless". 

"Do you think he was sent to another plane?" She asks.

"What do you mean? Like heaven?"

"No. Like where we are right now. We came here after our death, didn't we?"

"Is there an even worse world to throw him into?"

That is an extra callous answer from me. But it did seem to take a smile from her.

"There could be many. I've read this Isekai where every time the guy eats a meal he goes back in time. So he is always hungry."

She is right back at me. Cannot help but smile, what a ridiculous premise.

"I miss the food from our world. We would do churrascos every sunday with Biel's family. Apparently it is common where they are from to unite the family and friends, eat some meat, hear samba and watch soccer."

"How did you d … come here?"

"Well, you surely heard of the protests in the International Court? I cannot imagine it didn't make the news, since I'm pretty sure they brought the building down."

"What? They didn't do anything like that. My mother works at the court, and she didn't say anything about that."

What? I'm genuinely confused.

"How did YOU die?"

"I don't really know. I was at our home apartment talking with mom, then I heard the sounds of planes closer than they should be and other loud noises. Can't remember anything after that."

What is happening in the real world? There aren't planes in the middle of the city. "closer than they should"? That doesn't make any sense.

Come to think of it, there were a lot of beams of light when we were at the camp, probably a lot of people coming to this side. There were also a lot of people in the sky realm before choosing this Isekai too.

The only explanation I can think of is a foreign invasion. Is it an all out war there? 

Wow.

My death was even more useless than I thought. Was it even related to anything I ever did?

There are a lot of other questions too. Does that mean my family is also dead? Should I have waited and picked a world with them? 

Everybody seemed so young in the sky realm, though.

There must be a way to get answers … 

Do they even matter, though? 

Argh, I'm so confused. No point in thinking. Better do something else. 

I get up and see Biel checking the body. Joy follows suit and goes for the ashes. 

"Found anything?" I ask

"He had a small pouch and an actual leather belt. As well as a scabbard for his blade. I say we take it."

I pick up the pouch. There are a few coins and a piece of clear cloth, looks like some kind of scroll material. It is pretty rough and had sketches of the five of us.

For some reason only the ones of Biel and Joy are detailed. Even though Daniel and José were also captured theirs are as rough as mine, maybe this guy didn't get a updated version? 

Anyway, this confirms that we are wanted and they won't simply forget if we lay low for a week. This feels less and less like a video game. Feels more like we're stealing from a corpse than getting loot from a mob.

"Should we really?" 

Biel seems conflicted, Joy doesn't answer.

She has her back to us. Sitting and hunched over, is she still crying? 

I gently approach and see her hands are all black and she is using her fingers to write on one of those pieces of cloth she dried before. So thats what is was, paper. I can see she is journaling.

"REGRET; 

I'VE ALWAYS VALUED WHAT I HAD. I'VE ALWAYS DONE WHAT I HAD TO. I'VE ALWAYS EXPRESSED MY FEELINGS. I ALWAYS TRY TO HELP OTHERS. I DID MY BEST TO LIVE WITHOUT REGRET. I NEEDED TO EXPRESS MYSELF, BUT THEN I NEEDED TO SAVE A LIFE AND NOW I NEED TO MAKE EXCUSES. HE IS NOT COMING BACK BECAUSE I'M SAD. OR BECAUSE I LIVED WITHOUT REGRETS. MY RECKLESSNESS KILLED HIM. IF ONLY I HADN'T BEEN RECKLESS. I PROMISSED TO BE THE DOCTOR.WHAT IF IT WAS ONE OF THE BOYS ... WHAT IF WHAT IF; IF ONLY IF ONLY; REGRET MAKES YOU LIVE IN A WORLD PARALLEL WORD DEVOID OF TRUTH. NOT A SINGLE TRUTH, ONLY EXCUSES. THE TRUTH IS MY DECISION SEALED HIS FATE. I DIDN'T KILL HIM BUT MIGHT AS WELL HAVE. I DIDN'T NEED PAPER. HE DID NEED A PHYSICIAN. I'M SO SORRY, BUT YOU CANNOT EVER HEAR MY EXPRESSION OF REGRET. I COULD NEVER MAKE IT UP TO YOU. STILL I CANNOT THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE TO DO OTHER THAN SCREAM THAT I AM REALLY SORRY. I REALLY AM SORRY."

She then takes another piece, takes a deep breath and starts reading her raw words. Before long she writes:

        What if there was no if only

        If only I lived without What if

        What if I chose life

        If only I didn't choose folie  

I wouldn't cry. Why would I cry. 

She gets up, gets the sword, wraps the paper in the hilt and fixes it with cordage. She then gets the sccabard. She points to the body's right hand.

"Is that a coat of arms in his ring? We have to take his things to his family!"