A Fleeting Moment

The city was blanketed in white.Snowflakes drifted from the sky, twirling down like forgotten thoughts, before melting away into the cold, gray ground. The streets were bustling, lights shone brightly in the nightime. Blues, reds, yellows and greens. The occasional hiss of tires on wet asphalt and the soft crunch of boots on snow. People traveled in groups, friends laughing and families smiling. The city, usually so quiet at night, felt full of life, overflowed with the sounds of festival joys.

But...to Shishui Renz it all seemed...distant, out of place, the edge of a dream.Shishui Renz stood at the bus stop, his breath a mist in the chilled air. He stared at his feet, letting the cold bite at his exposed cheeks, but not really feeling it. Although people moved in groups around him, Shishui felt alone. The night was still to him, the world moving around in slow, mundane cycles. He watched as cars passed by, people hurried along the sidewalks, their heads bent low against the snow and the wind. Everywhere there was life, movement. Vibrancy. Shishui wasn’t moving.

I’m not moving.

He sighed, adjusting the strap of his bag over his shoulder. The bus was late. It always was. There was something comforting in the way the routine felt predictable, cold, mechanical. He’d get on the bus, sit by the window, stare out at the passing world, listen to his music and wait for it to be over.
The usual.But tonight everything seemed...louder. More Alive than usual. Shishui felt conscious of himself. He stared as a couple passed by laughing. Shishui’s face grew red. 

Ah, I wonder what that feels like.
Tonight the world seemed to move slower for him and he felt more alone than ever. Shishui held his breath as the world seemed to still. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets, fingers stiff with the cold. He pulled out his phone, hoping the familiar feeling of scrolling through an endless stream of random thoughts and videos would help keep his mind busy.
His thumb hovered over the screen, but he didn’t click on anything. Instead, he tapped the music app, and selected his playlist “Moods for a Melancholy Night” was the title and hit play.

The soft hum of the first track filled his ears, although a sadder song, it brought a warmth that enveloped him. It was a song he’d heard a hundred times, and yet, it always felt new. The lyrics were haunting, a quiet, slow start melody that seemed to speak directly to him. As the bass thumped in his ears, the world faded a little more. Shishui felt his mind drift...

I wonder if they’re happy. Everyone else. They all seem to have it figured out, don’t they? 

He thought to himself.Shishui watched another pair of college students walk by, laughing, arms linked together, as if the world were nothing more than a stage for their own private play.They seem happy.

He glanced down at his own reflection in the glass of the bus stop. The face staring back was his own, but… not quite. There was always something about it that didn’t fit to him. Shishui smiled - Oh no! I'm ugly! I look like a horse! - There was an awkwardness in his smile, the way his eyes always seemed to avoid their own reflection, the feeling that no matter how much he wanted to connect, he was always a little too far away...even to himself. Shishui stretched his jaw. 
Why am I so damn awkward. So damn weird...
Shishui wasn’t a complete shut-in. He went to school. He tried to interact. But he never quite knew how. Conversations felt like he was trying to speak a language he hadn’t learned yet. Small talk? It was like trying to read a book written in a different alphabet...and he was blind! Sure, he had his interest and hobbies, music, anime, gardening, but social interaction? People? They all felt hopelessly out reach.

Am I just… bad at this?The bus was still nowhere in sight. He shifted from foot to foot, the cold creeping into his bones. The music played on, filling the silence with its low, melancholic drums.Can I be better...I want to be.
But how?
He looked up.Across the street, a homeless woman was struggling to adjust a large, heavy bag slung over her shoulder. She staggered a little, pulling at the straps, trying to keep the weight balanced. Shishui’s eyes lingered on her for a moment. She looked like he felt… overwhelmed, like someone carrying too much for too long.She’s alone.There was something in her posture, the way she held herself, that made him pause. For a moment, he forgot about the music, forgot about the quiet thoughts spinning around in his mind.

Is she okay?He shifted his weight again and glanced around. People walked by, some noticed her, others, decidedly, didn’t. The usual. He didn’t want to just pass by. Not this time.
Shishui took a step forward.

His boots crunching against the snow. It was strange - he didn’t usually do things like this. Wasn’t sure how to, but something about the moment made him feel like he had to try. Like maybe, just maybe, this small act would change something in him. That he could finally connect.

“Yo!...um..excuse me ma'am, do you need help with that?” Shishui’s voice came out quieter than he intended. He cleared his throat. "I mean, it looks like it’s kind of heavy.”The woman looked up, startled, her face softening into a surprised smile when she saw him. She was older than him, maybe in her late forties, or early fifties, dark and sliver hair peeking out from under a thick scarf.“Oh, um…” She hesitated, glancing down at the bag. “I’m fine, really. Just a bit awkward with the weight.”“I could carry it for you,” he offered, his hands almost twitching with the desire to help. “...If you don’t mind.”

The woman looked at him, then at the bag, and finally gave a small nod. “Well, I suppose it would be a relief.”

Shishui bent down and picked up the heavy bundle. 

It wasn’t a grand gesture, but as he took the weight from her, he felt a small, unfamiliar warmth. She had trusted him with something. She had let him help. He was helping.

So this is how it feels. This...is great.

They walked in silence for a moment crossing the street slowly, the snow continuing its soft dance in the cold air. The woman glanced over at him, her expression softening as she observed him.“You’re very kind,” she said with a gentle smile. “Most people wouldn’t stop for a stranger. Let alone someone like me."





“I guess... I guess I just felt like helping,” Shishui mumbled, his cheeks flushing a little. He wasn’t used to people thanking him, or noticing him, for that matter. The act felt so small, so simple, but in that moment, it was enough.

For a few brief seconds, there was no awkwardness. No self-doubt. Just two people, walking in the snow, sharing a quiet moment of humanity. Shishui stopped, adjusting the heavy bag...Then came the light. A flash of white.A distant screech cut through the peace, sharp and sudden. Tires skidded across the wet road, the sound of metal on snow screaming toward them. People screamed. Shishui turned his head, heart pounding, but everything happened too quickly. His bus had arrived, hurling straight towards, swerving wildly. The driver’s face was distorted in panic, their hands furiously trying to turn the wheel with desperation. The bus was out of control. It skidded across the road, tumbling.Shishui froze. Then turned, the woman’s face was a mask of fear. Shishui, by instinct, leapt. He grabbed the old woman, pushing her onto the sidewalk.

Please - please be safe

She landed just in time.He didn’t. Shishui fell. Body wet against the snowned floor.There was no more time to think. No more time to act. Only the harsh, burning vechicle tumbling towards him. It overturned, the heat burning Shishui back...Everything happened in an instant.And then...

Darkness.
However, In that fleeting moment, Shishui’s thoughts weren’t of fear. They weren’t of regret, nor pain. They were warm and they were simple:

                        I helped someone. 



" END OF CHAPTER 0 "