Good Morning, Bad Day

       Ryan Hold awoke to his phone vibrating to the alarm. His hand reaching instinctively for the screen, swiping with his finger to turn off the annoying jiggle. He laid in bed for a moment, staring up at the ceiling. He groaned as he got up, uncoiling himself from the blanket and sheets that clung to him, inviting back to the comfortable bed. Ryan avoided the enticings of going back to sleep, instead walking over to the blinds, lifting them to show the outside world. The sun had not yet risen, but the world was slowly coming to life, becoming brighter. Ryan went to get ready for the day. He went into the restroom, planning to take a shower. He looked in the mirror, his brown hair disheveled, his hazel eyes with circles under his eyes. His narrow frame average in height.
"Good morning handsome," He told himself sarcastically. He showered, dressed, stuffed his used university backpack, and headed out the door.

His body protested as he made contact with the chilled autumn air outside. His breath forming puffs as he made his way down the stairs, heading to his car parked in the apartment complex. He hopped into the cold front seat, his vehicle rumbling to life in protest as he ignited the ignition. Ryan shivered in the seat, letting his car warm up. He breathed into his hands and rubbed them together. His jacket was no longer thick enough for the mornings, he would need to start wearing his coat. He patted his car. Good job, Rider. He thought to his car. Finally deeming it enough time, Ryan drove out of the complex and headed off to work. As his headed down the road, from suburbs to the city, the sun rose above the city horizon. 

Ryan could feel the increase in warmth and feel his own body come alive. A small smile formed on his lips as he stretched his back. Good morning. He thought to himself. He finally parked in employee parking. He left his backpack behind, and entered the building. His co-workers and manager already inside. He headed to the custodial closet, where he grabbed the vacuum and began his morning shift. So he worked the next four hours, vacuuming the carpet of several floors and open offices, alongside edging the nooks and crannies. Next he grabbed the wipes and began wiping the desks, going over the surfaces. Moving along with passing glances, Ryan moved between cubicles, each personalized to each individual. Ryan smiled as he saw family pictures, chuckling as he saw a new additional photo of a new baby boy for... Daniel Jobs.  Ryan was happy for the stranger, but he felt that emptiness, so desperately wanting to be a father himself. Maybe one day, but for the moment he continued to finish up his work. Ryan then put away his cleaning supplies, finished with his morning shift. He headed back outside as the other employees of the building began to enter the building. 

Ryan grabbed his backpack from his car and then walked to the local coffee shop. He waved a simple 'hi' to the cashier before going over to his regular corner and sat down. He pulled out his laptop and earbuds. He began looking through his job applications. Not a single one had replied to him, not even to deny his application. Granted, Ryan knew he didn't have many skills that he could honestly put on a resume. But he had a lot to offer. Ryan felt that emptiness again. He pushed it down. At least he had a job with consistent hours, even if the shift hours were difficult. He closed the tabs, deciding he was done with job hunting for the day.

Looking up, he saw a pretty blonde lady grab her coffee and go to sit down. Ryan sat, bouncing his knee. He should ask her. His brain was already going through all the reasons that was a bad idea. So Ryan stood, going over before his regretted not doing anything. His labtop stayed open, gently humming on the table.
Pleasantries were exchanged in the distance. Then Ryan came back to the table and labtop. He sat down, face plaster with a strained smile. The choice between regret and rejection was a hard one. And neither felt any good. Ryan felt whole in his chest widen a little wider, but Ryan immediately opened a new tab to watch some 'fun' videos.

Today he mostly watched lore videos about the world and characters of the 'War of the Rings'. He had enjoyed the trilogy when he was a teenager and had been hooked ever since. A classic story of good vs evil.
Ryan finished with a lore tidbit of the Steward, a man who was politically savvy who had betrayed the heroes to save his city from the villains. I would never do that, or at least I hope I wouldn't. The video ended and the sponsorship started, interrupting Ryan's introspection. Yet, Ryan felt that emptiness with the video essay over. He enjoyed War of the Rings, but he wanted to create, not just consume. So while he had time, he began to open a new tab and a new document. The blank page staring at him from his monitor. Ryan typed, writing whatever came into his head. He stopped however, when he realized that it was mostly about a character like the Steward. Ryan stopped, he could already tell this story was going to be too derivative, or at least not good enough. He sighed, deleting the document. He just needed more practice.

Ryan left to go eat lunch. After lunch he usually went to nap in his car. However today, he decided to watch more videos, this time about writing tips on his phone.
"Stop wasting your time," The man in the video declared, "You're never going to be good enough. When making art, a comic, music, any creative piece. You are never going to be at the level you want to be at in the start. But if you want to make stuff, you are going to be okay making sh*t in the very beginning. Your skills will improve as you go along. Don't fall into the practice trap, just pursue your dream project."
Ryan had to pause to think about that. He wanted to create, and he kept stalling, because he knew his skills weren't up to par. But so what? That was just an excuse wasn't it? But what was his dream project? What did he want to make?

Ryan's pondering was interrupted then by a phone call. Seeing the sender, he swiped his finger to answer. Ryan listened as he heard 'Happy Birthday' sung from the line by his family. His Mom and Dad, his younger brother and sister. He missed them, oh how he missed them.
"Love you my precious boy, happy birthday!" His mom called out after the song.
"Thank you, Mom," Ryan said, his face breaking into a thankful smile.
"Yo, your twenty-four! How does it feel to be old?" Her sister teased.
"Not really that different," Ryan stated, "But you're the one who is a Senior, not me."
"Oof," His sister replied, "First, don't remind me I'm a Senior. Second, you should leave the snark to me."
"...I thought it was clever." Ryan grumbled.
"I thought it was pretty witty." His brother responded supportively.
"Thanks bro," Ryan responded, "I appreciate the backup. Speaking of pretty things, how is it going with that girl?"
"You mean girlfriend!" Ryan's sister interjected, "They're dating now!"
Ryan could feel himself smiling for his brother, he was glad for him, he really was. But the fact his younger brother was finding success in his love life... Ryan felt that emptiness again. It was getting harder to ignore.
"Yah, I'll introduce you next time we see you." Ryan's brother finished, Ryan coming back to the conversation.
"When do you think you'll be back?" His mother asked, "You're coming for the holidays?"
Ryan's face was struggling to keep a chipper, despite the fact it was just a voice call. "We see." Was all Ryan was able to say positively.
"Hey son, I love you. You're welcomed back home whenever you need, you know that right?" Ryan could hear his Dad's offer. Ryan new he was being sincere. But that man, the way he just... Ryan had to take a deep breath to keep his frustration down.
"I know Dad. I love you too." Ryan meant it, but it didn't make the frustration go away, "It's almost time for me to go back to work. Thank you all for reaching out."
"Love you!" His siblings shouted.
"See you soon," His mom called.
"Bye everyone." Ryan said as he ended the call. He sat there for a moment longer in his car. He placed his hands over his eyes as he sighed. Today had been such a good morning, but all these little instances. He should be happy, but he felt more empty and frustrated.

He had a job, functioning car, and apartment. But he was barely saving money. He had no girlfriend, no chances at providing for a family. Hadn't accomplished any noteworthy creative endeavor. And he had a strained relationship with his Dad, which he so desperately wanted to make proud.
AAAAAH! Ryan internally screamed. His body slumped in the seat. Now he was tired, his evening shift was about to start, and he didn't take his nap today. What a bad day.
Ryan looked at his phone, trying to distract himself for a bit before getting back to work. He flipped through his apps, not wanting to watch any more videos. His eyes were drawn to his scripture app. He clicked it, more out of spite and frustration than expecting anything meaningful. 'Scripture of the Day,' popped up as he opened the app. He clicked it.

Matthew 11: 28-30
"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Ryan sat, the words piercing deep into his heart. Part of him wanted to deny, wanted to push this feeling away. Why couldn't things be easy? Why couldn't things go his way? ...But, if life was going to remain difficult, could it really be so bad to ask for help?
Ryan didn't have much time before his next shift. So he clasped his hands and closed his eyes. God, help me. I feel lost. I know I've been avoiding you recently, but please... could you help me? Can you give me peace? Help me find what I need? Ryan prayed silently. It was a short prayer, as his alarm went off. Time to get back to work. Ryan hopped from the car and headed back inside the building. Ready to clean toilets and take out garbage.

Ryan was thankful for the work. He was still tired, but at least he had something to do to keep his mind distracted. He was getting to the higher floors, taking out the trash of each cubicle's trash bin. He could see that some folks were still working. Two men and a young woman. They seemed to be working overtime on some project or another, and they all looked like they had a long day. Ryan thought for a moment, before leaving his custodial cart. He came back after visiting the vending machines, heading over to the working group.

"Uh, hello," Ryan announced as he came close. The three folks looked up, looking tired and even a little annoyed, "I know it's been a long day. And I don't know if you'll like it, but I usually find a simple candy bar helps my day." 
Ryan then passed out the candy bars he had brought to the group. The man with the trimmed black beard, the one who had looked the most annoyed, now looked in surprise at Ryan, his eyebrows shooting up. "Oh, uh, thank you." Despite looking older, the voice hinted younger. So Ryan had to guess maybe thirty something.
"Yes, thank you," The lady said, graciously taking the candy bar. Ryan guessed she was in her mid-twenties. She was really pretty with her white bottom up shirt, skirt, and brown hair in a ponytail. Ryan tried to ignore her. He wanted to do a good deed because... it was a good deed. Not because he thought she was cute.
"Thanks man," The last man said, a good looking fellow probably in his later twenties. His smile looked forced to Ryan. "I'm not a fan of this brand, but I appreciate the break. I'm Dave Speilt." Dave offered a handshake. Ryan tried to keep himself from being to anxious, "I'm Ryan Hold."

"Nice to meet you Ryan. Been cleaning for a living long?" Dave asked friendly like.
"Uh, I've had this job since the building was completed last year." Ryan explained, "But I was working in my Dad's house cleaning business since I was a teenager."
"Really," Dave responded.
"So yor weally, hmm," Ryan and Dave both turned to see the lady, who was finishing her candy bar, trying to quickly swallow what was in her mouth as she had tried to join the conversation. She blushed from embarrassment.
"I'm sorry. I was just saying you're probably really good at your job. I'm Samantha. I go by Sammy," She stood up to reach with a handshake, which Ryan complied, "Thank you again."
"No problem," Ryan said. The bearded gentleman also reached out a handshake.
"Gid." He introduced.
"Well, uh, good luck with whatever your working on," Ryan stated, "But I do need to get back to work. You all have a wonderful night."
"You too!" Sammy called, Gid and Dave nodding as Ryan left to continue to do the trash bins, heading further up the floors. After he was done, he took the elevator back to where they had been. Ryan saw they were still working. He was curious, and he also wanted to be near Sammy again. So he risked it as he headed over.

"Still at it, huh?" Ryan asked the group. Gid grunted, continuing his work. Sammy forced a smile, but Ryan could tell she was tired.
"We're almost done," Dave stated, "We'll get out of here as soon as we're able."
"Oh no, I'm not trying to hurry you. Just curious is all, about what your doing." Ryan apologized.
"Nothing much," Dave responded as he returned to focus on the task.
"Just a report that needed to be put together, early tomorrow morning." Sammy replied, as she turned back to her computer, "It was last minute and it was more extensive than our boss first realized."
Ryan nodded, "Well that sucks. Sorry about that. I don't think it means much, but there isn't much more than I can do to help."
"You're fine," Sammy said, distracted at the monitor, "We already appreciate what you've already done."
Ryan nodded, "I'll stop distracting you all. Good night once more. Hopefully see ya around some time." With that and a few more good night exchanges, Ryan headed to the elevator to leave.

That is when it happened. The earth shook, windows shattered, lights flickered, and the building vibrated as the earthquake hit. Ryan fell to the floor from the shock. He could hear Sammy yelp. Ryan could barely crawl as he went to shelter under a desk.
Then as quickly as it started, the shaking stopped. Ryan got up, looking over to the others. Dave had been covering Sammy. Both of them stood up shakedly. Gid went over to ask and see if everyone was alright.
Ryan then got a bad feeling. He looked around, and he didn't know why, but the building just seemed worse for wear then it should be. "We need to leave."
"Just a moment," Dave said heading to his computer, "Just need to make sure we logged out."
"We need to leave now." Ryan affirmed. Dave turned, about to explain company policy, but remained silent as he saw Ryan staring him down. Dave nodded, grabbed his stuff, and began heading towards the stairs. Gid and Sammy followed. Ryan led the way, moving quickly down the steps. He didn't know why, but he felt like he was on a time limit. His swift movement seemed to spur the others to quicken the pace. Sammy taking off her heels as she followed.

The building then made a horrible creaking and cracking sound, the sound echoing down the stairway. Ryan tried to keep a constant pace, but behind him the group tried to speed up. Dave accidentally in his panic pushed into Ryan, Ryan was barely able to stabilize himself on the railing. But Dave fell forward, falling down the hard steps to the next landing.
"Ah! F*ck! B*tch!" Dave cried as he got up. However lifting his leg in pain. "Dammit."
Ryan didn't wait to ask permission, he went down and pulled Dave's pants up. Looking at the ankle, it was terrible red. Either sprained really badly or broken.
"I'll carry you," Ryan stated quickly, already  saying the explanation in his head.
"No," Gid said as he placed a hand on Ryan's shoulder, "I'm bigger, I'll carry him." With that, Ryan stepped to the side, letting Gid hoist Dave unto his back, and continued down the stairs. They were moving more slowly. Gid up front with Dave, making sure not to slip and fall.
"Just go around us," Gid stated as he huffed, "Just slowing you down."
"We're fine following you, Gid." Sammy stated in the rear. Ryan just nodded with her sentiment. Gid said nothing more as he continued down the stairs. Dave clenched his teeth in pain with each jostle. 

Then they made it out of the stairwell and out the doors into the parking lot. Ryan was about to smile when he heard Sammy cry out in pain. Without her shoes, she had stepped onto the broken glass outside. Cutting up her feet. Ryan quickly went back. He didn't explain himself as he knelt down, offering to carry her on his back. Sammy didn't say anything as she flopped onto him. Ryan stood, ready to move when the aftershock came.

The earth shook once more with a quake that was almost as strong as the first. That is when the building, not built to code to cut corners, shook, buckled, and began to fall. 
"Throw her," came the silent voice in his head. Already panicked and barely staying calm, as the earth rumbled beneath his feet, he obeyed the prompting. He forcefully swung Sammy into his arms, and then running, threw her forward as far as he could. The building crashing behind him, and Ryan's world went full of debris and then darkness.