The Pain of Unaccomplished Dreams

After Benny had been kidnapped by the white hawk, the crows that had attacked them had dispersed. They had left behind several dead crows and scattered black feathers. Philia rubbed at her bleeding cheek, watching them go.

"To control that many animals, it might not be a very strong witch."

"Thanks for that information."

"Don't get sarcastic with me!"

"In case you didn't notice, in all that chaos a white one managed to steal Benny!"

"It what?!"

"It went in the direction of the forest." Ansel is staring into the distance, then he saw it. "It dropped Benny!"

"Where?!"

"Inside the forest!"

"We have to go get it back!"

"Wait, Philia! Think rationally!"

"I am thinking rationally! Her majesty, the queen dowager herself, gave us the mission to escort that teddy bear to my great-grandmother! We have to ensure its safety!" Philia struggled to calm Iris, but realizing their intent is the same the horse calmed down and let her undo its reigns. "I can't let that stupid bear ruin this mission!"

"Philia!"

Without waiting for her friend, Philia rode Iris in the direction of those lush green trees. Philia didn't care about her own safety, she only thought about completing this mission...a mission that is giving her a chance...a chance to change her own future.

"If I can't complete this mission...I'll just be a failure...! A failure to my household...!"

The burden in Philia's heart felt heavier with every second she thought that this mission would fail because of her carelessness. She was trying to ensure that Benny was happy and didn't cause problems, which is why they avoided traveling along the main roads between villages and towns...she didn't think that this careless action would result in it being kidnapped!

"Philia!" Ansel rode up beside Philia, he struggled, but managed to wrestle the reins in her hand, forcing the horses to stop. "Stop, you idiot!"

"Shut up! You don't understand! You're still a squire, you can't understand-!"

"So what if I'm still a squire! At least I'm not the one running myself ragged because of what other people are saying about me!"

Philia had flinched, as if being struck. Ansel always knew that his childhood friend always pushed herself too hard, that she felt like a failure in her own family. Being the great-granddaughter of a famous witch known across the world can do that...especially when the rest of one's family is well-known for their magical accomplishments, but not Philia. Out of all the descendants of the Witch of the Slumbering Forest...only Philia had no magical power so to speak. As such, there were always whispers and rumors that she may not truly be a descendant of house Solaris, that her mother cheated on her father resulting in a talentless child being born into house Solaris.

"You don't understand...I have to-"

"No one in your family cares! They all love you!"

"Shut up! What do you know?!"

"Because even your great-grandmother doesn't care! Don't you remember what she taught us as kids?!"

"She was wrong! What does she know?!"

"I said listen to me, you idiot!"

Ansel didn't hesitate when he tackled Philia off her horse. Now that Benny isn't around to witness the violence...neither of them pulled their punches and acted like they always had as kids. Philia punched Ansel in the face, resulting in him pulling her hair.

"That hurts!"

"Then don't pull my hair!"

The two tussled in the ground as both horses could only watch, unable to interfere. Rocco got bored watching the two fight and went to graze nearby and Iris kept glancing at the tussling pair to the forest where Benny landed. She is clearly unsure if she should to go after the teddy bear right away or stay with her rider. Eventually the two laid on their backs, covered in dirt and bruises...bringing back memories for the duo.

"We used to...fight like this as kids...whenever we had a disagreement..." Ansel is panting heavily, using his hand to rub at his bloody nose. "I still remember when you broke my nose because I ate the strawberry off your cake..."

"I was saving that for last, you asshole! Everyone knows you save the best part for last!"

"So...now that you calmed down, you do realize that you just attempted to enter a forest protected by a spirit, right?"

"Ugh..."

"Granny Estrella always told us that we should try to avoid angering spirits. Just to let you know, I'm definably not saving you if you anger it!"

"Then, what should we do? I have no magic to use to get us in if it set up a barrier and you don't know any useful spells."

"Give up and hope Benny wanders out?"

"How is that a plan?!" Philia drop kicked Ansel across the chest. "If the bird is the familiar of a witch, it would be free to cross the forest from the sky. That means that the witch must be on the other side of the forest as well."

"So if we find the witch..."

"We can force her to save that dumb bear! From now on, I'm tying a rope around its waist so it can't run off!"

"You think it would let you do that?"

"Who cares what that stupid teddy bear thinks!"

"I get this feeling it would never allow that..."

"Shut up and get on your horse! We're going to get around the forest as quickly as possible and find that damn witch! How dare she target us...!"

"Just don't kill her. Don't forget, witches get judged by their own kind. Killing one over a stuffed animal would only get you on their hitlist."

"Granny Estrella is a famous witch, like hell they'd try anything..."

"Stop cursing so much. You're a lady. It'd make your mom sad if she hears you're still as tomboyish as when we were kids."

"Shut up! Don't tell me you're still writing letters to my mom?!"

"Someone has to! You didn't write her a single letter since we came to the capital three years ago!"

"You traitor!"

"How am I a traitor when you didn't write to her once?! I never promised to help you isolate yourself from your family!"

Philia couldn't forgive Ansel for always telling her family what's she's been doing or her progress. Despite the fact the two always fought, Ansel cared about Philia and was much more concerned over the fact she pushed herself to the point of being sent to the infirmary from exertion more than once. While he may have longed to be a knight because of his childhood dreams...Philia is the opposite. She longed to use magic and to be a mage, but had no talent. The only talent she had is her swordsmanship. Ansel longed to be a knight, but had no talent with the sword...yet he held the talent to learn any spell should he put his mind to it.

"We're finally on the other side...Do you see anything?" Ansel looked around. "I can't tell at all..."

"...Ansel..."

"What's up?"

"You're talented in magic...so you can use your magic to sense others."

"..."

"You remember it, don't you? The training Granny put us through."

Ansel remembers that clearly...the day that the light in Philia's faded...the jealousy she felt when she looked at him...the day that their carefree laughter changed and became bitter due to Philia's jealousy that Ansel...Ansel who was not family, not a member of their house...had a talent for magic that she had lacked.

"Granny! Teach us magic!"

"I'd rather learn swordsmanship from your grand-ow!"

"Shhhh! Granny would never teach me alone...You have to do it too, Ansel...!"

"Alright, alright. Even I can't resist my cute great-granddaughter's pleas."

"Yay!"

Ansel remembers how cheerful and mischievous Philia used to be as kids. Carefree and unburdened by the weight of her family legacy. Ansel also remembers how Philia began to resent her great-grandmother...practically begging her mother to go to the capital far away from her. Ansel only went with her because he did truly care for Philia and because he knew...knew that if no one was with her, she would break herself.

"Remember." Philia held her hands over her abdomen. "Focus your mana into your core...circulate it throughout your body...You're talented...so you can do this easily..."

Ansel didn't want to do this...he never had much of an interest in magic. He didn't want to hurt his childhood friend either...but he also knew that this is necessary. Philia didn't want to fail a mission given to her by royalty, wanting to make a name for herself...to protect her family honor. He didn't want to be the reason why she failed this mission either. He didn't care for fame or fortune...he could care less about becoming an official knight either. He wanted Philia to be happy again...just like in their childhood.

"Ansel!" Philia's innocent and carefree smile was infectious, making him smile. "Granny said we're going to see a meteor shower tonight! We have to take a nap which is boring, but we have to or we'll miss it!"

Ansel's dream was once to become a knight...but being a knight doesn't mean anything if the person he wanted to protect most isn't able to smile beside him.

"Can you sense anything, Ansel?"

"No...I don't know if it is because of the spirit that protects this forest, but I don't feel any other powerful mana in the area..."

"Are you serious?!"

"It's getting late too." Ansel stopped spreading out his mana, staring at the sky. "We should set up camp."

"We'd be sitting ducks if the witch decides to attack."

"We'll take shifts. We won't be able to do anything if we're both exhausted."

"..."

"We'll try again in the morning. Those birds can't see at night so they won't be able to move either. We should wait until morning to look for Benny."

"Got it..."

Philia knew when to give up and admit she is wrong...no matter how badly she didn't want to. Ansel didn't bother arguing with her, wanting to get some rest as he had exerted himself using magic. Philia stared up at the stars...Iris nudged her with her head and she merely reached up, patting the side of the mare's head.

"I have to prove them wrong...I'm not a failure to my family..."

"Did you hear?"

"You mean the stain of the Solaris family? I heard she became a knight."

"She can't use magic like any of her relatives and is stuck swinging a sword around."

"How the might have fallen, hahaha!"

"That's true. I bet she used her family influence to become a knight. That boy she came to the capital with is still a squire, isn't he?"

"A failure who can only rely on her family's influence."

"Hahahahaha!"

"Hahahahaha!"

"They're wrong about me...I didn't use my family name...I'll prove it...I'll prove how accomplished a knight I am by completing this mission...I don't need magic to prove it...I don't..."

Philia didn't notice as Ansel had his back to her...but he was awake the entire time. He was worried that if he didn't, Philia wouldn't switch shifts and simply let him sleep until morning. Ansel made sure that he pretended to have woken up in the middle of the night to switch with Philia early...and he silently cast a spell of slumber of Philia to ensure she fell asleep.

"Even if you don't have magic, you can still save others with a sword..."

Philia dreamed of being like her great-grandmother, a powerful witch who can do good across the world...Ansel dreamed of being a knight to protect his loved one's smiles. Neither of those dreams would come true...because Philia has no magical talent and Ansel...Ansel wouldn't be happy being a knight if the person he cared most for wasn't happy as well.