The Heist That Wasn't (But Kind Of Was)

Placing an infiltrate into the fortress of an ancient evil, Mia found, took a whole lot more planning than movies made it look. It wasn't merely a question of sneaking in at night—it took maps, lists of equipment, contingency plans, and seemingly a surprising quantity of paperwork."Risk assessment form, triplicate," grumbled a clerk whose title appeared to be "Administrative Liaison for Hazardous Magical Enterprises." "Magical insurance waiver, witnessed and signed. Notification of next-of-kin preferences, and." He handed her another form. "Heroic last words registration, in the event mission ends in disastrous failure.""Heroic last words registration?" Mia stared at the form. "You want me to have to state what my last words are going to be?""It's for the official records," the clerk replied patiently. "Future bards need precise information for their epic ballads about your bravery.""Suppose I don't die bravely? What if I just, like, trip over something and happen to save the world by accident?"The clerk seemed to be genuinely upset at this possibility. "I. don't think we have a form for that.""I'll improvise," Mia said, handing back the blank form. "I'm an improviser."Three hours of red tape later, they at last made their escape to the strategy room of the palace, where Kael sat studying intricate maps of the region surrounding Shadowhold with a group of the kingdom's best scouts and magical researchers."Tell me you discovered something useful," Mia said, accepting a cup of coffee—a genuine cup of coffee, shipped in from a kingdom that had learned to grow magical coffee beans."Good news and bad news," said Captain Reis, the older scout. "The good news is that we've discovered several potential avenues of approach to the fortress that don't involve the main defenses.""And the bad news?""They're all completely suicidal."Captain Reis unfolded a bigger map with red X's. "The Blighted Wastes are so named for a reason. The whole area has been tainted with dark magic for more than a century. The air itself is poisonous, the water is not safe to drink, and the native wildlife includes mostly things that are interested in eating your soul.""Delightful," Mia said. "What about magical protection?""We can provide you with spells that will protect you for maybe six hours," said Magister Aldric, the court's chief wizard. "After that, you need to find cover or the corruption will consume even magical defenses."Mia traced the map with her finger, crossing out possible routes. "How long to reach the fortress?""By foot, following the most secure route we've mapped? Two days.""So we need magical protection that will at least last at least twice as long as something you can provide.""I fear so.""And non-magical protection?"Magister Aldric looked confused. "I don't get it.""Where I come from, we have ways of protecting people from poisonous environments without using magic. Sealed suits, air purifiers, that sort of thing.""You want to create. armor that cleanses air?""Something like that." Mia looked around the room. "Do you have someone here who works with mechanical stuff? Like, clockwork or engineering?"An hour later, she was in the palace workshops talking to Master Inventor Celia, a woman whose workshop looked like the magical equivalent of every mad scientist's lair ever dreamed up. Clockwork birds flew overhead, mechanical flowers popped open and shut based on the amount of light that struck them, and in the corner, what appeared to be a self-stirring cauldron was bubbling something that smelled suspiciously like hot chocolate."Cool," said Celia, studying the rough sketches Mia had drawn. "So you're going to create a suit that has its own air, but will be able to shut out magical taint?""That's the basic idea. Can it be done?""Theoretically, yes. We'd need crystal filters for the magical purifying, clockwork mechanisms for air movement, and probably some kind of emergency magical safeguard." Celia began to sketch changes to Mia's design. "It won't be comfortable, and it definitely will not be pretty, but it should work.""How long to build?""For a fully tested, working prototype? Six months."Mia's heart sank. "We don't have six months.""No, but." Celia grinned. "For a completely untested, possibly dangerous experimental version that would maybe last long enough to get you to the fortress?"Give me until tomorrow night."That would kill me.""So may the toxic magic air. At least that way you'll die in something really revolutionary."Meanwhile, while Celia worked on their environmental preservation, Mia spent the rest of the day studying everything she could find out about Shadowhold and its fortifications. The fortress, as it turned out, was even more ridiculously constructed than it had appeared in the viewing crystals."It is not architecture," stated Magister Aldric, showing her detailed magical scans of the fortress. "The entire fortress is partially outside of regular reality. A couple of the towers are wider inside than out, some of the walls exist in more than a single dimension simultaneously, and the throne room appears to be contained within a bubble of time that moves at a different rate from the remainder of the universe.""That's Kind of impressive," Mia agreed. "Also completely insane, but impressive.""Old evil sorceresses don't tend to worry about normal physics.""What do you think about my control mechanism hypothesis? Were you able to find anything like that?""We figure so." Aldric finessed the magical sight, showing him a cross-section of the lower levels of the fortress. "There is a room deep beneath the main section that our scrying cannot see into. All magical energy that flows in the fortress seems to come from there.""So that's where we have to go.""That's where you must go. The chamber is protected by spells that would instantly kill anyone who has lots of magical power. Only someone with virtually no magical resonance would even stand a chance of surviving getting close to it."Mia stared at him. "You're saying my complete lack of magical training is going to be a help?""In this specific case, yes. Your magical signature is so low that defense spells might not even realize you're there as a threat.""I don't know if I should be offended or relieved.""Both," replied Kael, entering with a load of supplies in his arms. "I've been working with the Royal Guard. We'll have a support unit that can take you to the edge of the Blighted Wastes, but after that, you're on your own.""And you? Are you coming with me?"Kael's head shook. "Wards that Aldric mentioned would kill me before I could reach a hundred yards of that room. This is something you will have to do by yourself."The reality of it hit her then. She'd been so caught up in planning and problem-solving that she'd managed to not take into account the reality of the situation that she was walking into an ancient evil's fortress by herself, with no one to have her back or even a way to call for backup. "Hey," Kael said gently, looking at her new whiteness. "You don't need to do this. We can figure something else out.""No, we can't," Mia replied, although her voice was not as firm as she'd prefer. "This is the plan with the most hope of succeeding. And to be honest? Sneaking past a magical fortress sounds better to me than fighting through it.""You're certain?""I'm scared. But I'm certain."That evening, pacing back and forth in her guest rooms studying the plan for the umpteenth time, Mia struggled to keep up with it all that had happened since she'd fallen through her floor six days earlier. Only last week had her biggest worry been if she could pay rent and groceries in the same month. Now she was about to infiltrate an evil fortress to save a magical kingdom.The strangest part was how right it felt. Not comfortable—she was still afraid of what tomorrow would bring—but right in the sense that her old life never had been. She was doing something that mattered, using skills she'd never known she had, with people who loved her even when she couldn't love herself.There was a soft knock on the door, shattering her haze. "Come in."Kael entered with a tray in his hand with tea and what appeared to be cookies. "I thought you might be starving. And perhaps also too distressed to sleep.""Both," she said, accepting the tea with a smile. "These are good," she said, nibbling on one of the cookies."Elena's recipe. She insisted I bring them to you before tomorrow."They sat for a moment in comfortable silence, eating cookies and drinking tea while the magical city glittered outside her window."May I ask you something?" Mia asked at last."Certainly.""Why aren't you trying to talk me out of it? I mean, we've known each other for less than a week, and I'm about to go do something that very well might kill me."Kael paused. "Guess if you can what I was doing before I bumped into you?""Guardian. things?""I was patrolling along routes that had been planned out fifty years ago, going through villages that hadn't experienced any serious issues in decades, filing reports no one read." He set down his cup of tea. "I became a Guardian because I wanted to protect people, to do something. But I'd gotten so used to doing things by the book that I'd forgotten what I was protecting people from.""And now?""Now I'm watching an individual who's been here six days develop solutions that individuals who've been here their whole lives never did. You're not only thinking outside the box—you're demonstrating to the rest of us that there isn't any box."Mia felt a rosy flush that was not the result of the tea. "I'm not brave, you see. I'm just stubborn enough not to quit when things don't add up.""Same thing, really."After Kael had left, Mia lay in her impossibly comfortable bed and stared up at the ceiling, which was magically enchanted to show a gentle starscape that gently cycled through the night sky. Tomorrow she would don an unworn mechanical suit, tramp through a toxic wasteland, and attempt to infiltrate a fortress that existed partially outside of reality.She ought to be scared. And she was, but she was also more thrilled than she'd been in, well, since she'd first laid hands on the Jeweled Blade. Whatever happens come tomorrow, it will definitely not be boring.The blade itself hummed quietly from where it rested on the nightstand, as if it were having a sleep reminiscent of the road that lay ahead.