Inception of the Sprite's Vehemence [Part 2]

A day has passed since Vapula’s announcement. I was continuously thinking of questions to ask him. I have way too many at the moment; I know I won’t need to ask all of them at once, I need to shorten the list I have. Most of the questions I have are about what is to come in the future, that way, I can plan accordingly.

Unfortunately, it was somewhat difficult to focus at times. There is just so much to think about. Like that poor woman I broke. Her crying face kept cycling through my head. Which also brought up memories from my past: in school, I was frighteningly good at getting into people's heads. Harvesting every bit of information they unknowingly gave me; all for the purpose to twist their mind and make them leave me be. However, I did something different this time. I offered to help. Regardless, I realize that I had to set some regulations for myself, so I don’t do what I did to Galu, to my Guild members.

Strange, isn't it? How can someone like myself be so aware of the inner workings of emotions and psychology. Yet, I still have mild depression, anxiety, and the occasional manic episode. I wonder the same thing. Perhaps that's why I attend every lecture at Stanford, because I wanted to have as much information as possible in the hopes that I could ‘fix’ something, anything about myself. Beginning with Social Psychology and Anthropology.

Yet, it wasn’t enough. I still had the occasional outburst, had days of depression, and said rude things to random people. I’ve gotten much better of course. It was still frustrating not having the answers I truly wanted to know about my mind. Knowing that it failed, I did what made sense to me. I took more classes, attended more lectures, passed every test and exam they gave me, to earn worthless rewards I never strive to achieve. And still, the deceitful stillness in my mind was there, patiently waiting to erupt.

“Damn this ring!” I randomly growled to myself.

I have not taken it off since I put it on! It’s been distracting me almost every second. Why am I so attached to it? Are the others acting in a similar way? I think I saw Aeryvon with his item. So, there is a good chance that they are affecting us. Again, no answers, just speculation.

Hah… There I go again… I need to relax. This is starting to get stressful.

Do I even like it here? Both worlds are still very much equals when it comes to their worth. At least, this world has some interesting stuff to look at…

Huh? That sounded like the door handle. It also sounds like someone is outside the door.

“Stop...” — “Just go...” — “No” — “Why...” — “Come on...” — “I said—HEy!”

“Heh-heh. Uh, hi Ryosuke.” Quen stumbled in by room. It looked like she was forced in because the door quickly shut behind her.

“Hi, Quen… What brings you here?” I asked.

“Oh, you know. I was just walking by and I wanted to see how you were doing. Heh-heh.” She responded with an unsure tone.

“Well, you seem good so see ya later!” She mentioned turning to the door quickly.

“Wait!” I asked as she quickly turned around. “Come, sit with me for a little bit.” I then asked.

She walked over to me slowly and sat next to me on the couch, with a shy posture. She had her fingers close together, but she was trying not to press her index fingers together.

“I, uh, see that you are using the new room.” She commented slowly.

“Yeah, I’ve been in here almost every day since you basically gave it to me.”

“Hehe, I didn’t give it to you.” Quen giggled.

“I know, but you showed it to me. It’s so cool to have two massive rooms all to mysel—Ah…! Ouch.” I made a gesture that caused my arm to ache in slight pain.

“Are you ok?” Quen asked in concern.

“Yeah, I had to wear one of these once before, so this is nothing too new, I just have to pay attention to how I move.” I mentioned waving my right hand.

“Oh, really?” Quen mentioned with slight surprise.

“Yup, um, back home.” I mentioned.

“Oh…” She remarked, looking downward, with a pondering expression.

“I’ve been wondering for a while now. And feel free not to answer this, but um…” She quickly mentioned. “Do you wonder how your family is doing? Or, if they might be thinking of you.” She asked.

No. I quickly thought to myself. They haven’t crossed my mind since my first day here. I couldn’t say that, of course. My emotional attachment to them is mixed at best. I would take several well written articles to explain my feelings about them. But I don’t want to lie to Quen either.

“Yeah.” I sighed. “To some degree, it was only my parents and I. I like to think that they are thinking about me. That’s always a nice thought.” I slowly explained. Then I opened my mouth slightly with a long pause. “You could say that they were always preoccupied with… Something.” I looked forward, blankly.

I thought about mentioning my father’s end… But she likely would have shown me pity. That’s something that I did not deserve, nor wanted. Maybe some type of condolences for him is an appropriate gesture, but she’s never met him. Would there be a point to that? Is it wrong to keep this fact to myself?

“Do you think you’ll miss them?” She asked, curiously.

“Sure.” I exhaled. “I took the time I had and gained knowledge from the elders. So I was never around them often in the first place.” I explained.

“What about your family? Do you miss them?” I followed.

“Me? Um.” She paused. “I uh…” She attempted, rustling with her sleeves.

“You don’t need to answer that.” I quickly placed my hand on hers. “If you don’t want to…” I mentioned with a smile.

I looked at her closely. At that moment, there was something that struck me about my mirrored question. I can visibly see her emotions pouring out of her. One can assume the worst for the fate of her family. That’s the proper reaction to have: subtle, yet, polar opposite to mine. I clearly have no idea how she feels, or what has happened. I can still catch a small glimpse of her lamenting that probably extends years. While mine is only weeks, and I show nothing.