Chæoku

My life has always been painfully ordinary. I woke up, ate, went to school, and slept. Day after day, the same monotonous routine repeated itself. Although it must have been like that for most people, for some reason, it felt different for me. Was that selfish? I wasn’t sure. I didn’t do much, and to make it worse, even the things I tried to enjoy didn’t bring me any real happiness. Video games were the only exception. They challenged me, gave me goals, and made me feel like I could actually accomplish something. Even when they got boring, that fleeting sense of achievement was something I never found in real life. It made me question what reality really was because nothing ever seemed real.

My parents were always busy with work, rarely home. Don’t get me wrong—I loved them. My father, in particular, was always pushing me to follow the right path in life. My mom worried about me a lot, but my dad thought I was “strong enough to survive in the real world.” Honestly, the only thing that ever felt truly real to me was my little sister, Inari. Considering she's my twin, it's no surprise we are close. She has always been the light in my darkness, even though she is... well, hyperactive, to say the least. I knew our parents' absence had affected her more than she let on, but I could see right through her smile. We had known each other for 19 years, after all. I envied her ability to stay positive in every situation. I once asked her how she did it, but her reaction was colder than I expected. I must have come off as weird since I didn’t usually ask questions.

Recently, I've found it hard to enjoy things. I mean, I was sure I had a heart—I felt anger, sadness, heartbreak, and frustration. Those are all normal emotions... right? Birthdays had always annoyed me, and any physical activity felt exhausting. On top of that, I had to look after Inari when our parents couldn’t, which was often. In elementary school, I was bullied a lot, which confused me. I was never the type to start fights or “look for trouble,” as my mother would say. I was a quiet kid who minded his own business. They couldn’t have been jealous—my grades were average, I never had a girlfriend, and I was always in one place, so I couldn’t have gotten in anyone’s way.

My curse followed me through the years, all the way to the end of high school when I decided I'd turn my life around. But before that, it was safe to assume...

I wanted to die.

Each passing day, I’d ask myself the same questions:

“Where did I go wrong?”

“What did I do?”

“How could I be better?”

Now that I'm dead, I’m still asking myself the same questions. For so long, I longed for death, so why... Why don’t I feel happy? The one thing I’d wished for, the one thing I’d begged for, I’ve finally received. Am I ungrateful? Why can’t I feel happy in death? No. I’m asking the wrong questions. Why did I keep living when I knew I could’ve ended it all myself? It wasn’t because I was scared. It wasn’t because I thought I’d regret it... well, maybe a little. Hmmm...just in that moment, Inari crossed my mind.

That’s right, Inari. My little nightmare of a sister whom I love so much. She’d be helpless without me. I couldn’t die—she needed me. Inari... please forgive your big brother. Don’t cry... Inari.

“After numerous pathetic displays, you finally managed to show a glimmer of bravery, only to die immediately after. Quite fitting for you, is it not?”

The voices are kinda loud today, huh?

“Hey! You’re not talking to yourself!”

Wait, what!

Opening my eyes, I found myself in a vast, dark void. It was like being inside a room with no walls or ceiling, an emptiness stretching infinitely in all directions. The oppressive darkness was thick and unsettling. Where am I? Wasn’t I dead?

“Oh, you’re still dead..here at least.”

“Quit reading my thoughts! And who even are you!?”

In front of me stood a shadowy figure, a creature cloaked in darkness. It almost reminds me of that thing that Kamei summons whenever she fights.

“So… are you like an angel here to guide me to the other side?”

“How flattering to be compared to an angel, but unfortunately for you, I can’t have you dying just yet.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll be bringing you back to life!”

“W-wait, what!?”

“What’s so hard to understand about resurrection?” It pouted.

“Hey! It’s ‘she’ to you!”

So she’s a girl.

“Well, how do you expect me to react? You’re talking about bringing me back to life so casually! And what did you mean by ‘you’re still dead, here at least’?”

“Ugh, look. Nod is a real world, but it also isn’t. It’s essentially a subconscious realm we all possess.”

“A subconscious realm?”

“Your brain creates it. It’s real in one sense, but it’s not real in another. If you die here, it’ll be bad for your physical body that’s sleeping right now!”

“My real body? So Nod isn’t real?”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“Okay, sorry, sorry! But wait, I’m—”

The “angel” extended her hand towards me, as if offering a handshake.

“What’s this?”

“I’m going to grant you a bit of my power so you can at least avoid dying next time. Because if you die again, there’s no coming back.”

“Wait, don’t you need those contract spirits to fight in Nod?”

“What exactly did you think I was? Oh right, an angel.”

“Y-you’re a Chæoku!?”

“Kinda.”

“That’s amazing! So I really have my own Chæoku!?” I exclaimed, my eyes glimmering with excitement.

“Y-yes?” she replied.

This guy is a weirdo.

“Hey! That’s my inner monologue you’re talking in! Anyway, you must be incredibly strong!”

“Only the best of the best!”

“Awesome! My time to shine has finally come! Here I come, Nod! I'll be back in no time, Inari!”

“...Anyway, let’s get this over with.”

“Wait!”

“Oh, what now!?”

“Chæoku need to form pacts to use their powers, or so I heard. What’s the catch with this?”

A smirk played on her lips.

“You're smarter than you look.”

“Wait! Let me guess—you want me to defeat the King of Nightmares?”

“You’re partially correct. I only want you to confront him.”

“Confront? What will I gain from that?”

“Think of it this way: you are the key, while the King of Nightmares is your gate. If you kill him, you’ll essentially be killing a part of yourself.”

So Kamei was right.

“Yes, she was.”

“Wait, how do you know all of—”

The Chæoku grabbed my hand firmly. A soft glow began to emanate from her, illuminating the surrounding darkness with a faint light.

“You ask too many questions. Now, go kick Specter’s butt. You do know how to summon me, right?”

“Yeah, I do,” I said, smiling with newfound confidence.