What doesn't Kill you (Makes you Ugly)

A few days had passed since the graveyard.

The Bronze Ring still clattered and hissed with the sounds of excitement, but to me it all felt… muted. Thomlin said I was quieter these days. Maybe I was. I didn’t even complain in the mornings anymore. I woke when told, ran when told, traced chalk circles until my fingers cramped. 

I hadn't used the Mourner's pack yet. Thomlin told me to wait until my body and mind were stronger before we trained with weapons.

“You’re getting faster,” he’d said for the fifth time that morning. “ But your body’s still too fragile.”

I said nothing, just nodded.

He sighed. “Meditate, for a while.”

Meditation was a recent addition to my regiment, after the morning runs. It was supposed to help in control, to get in touch with the flow pathways in my body. Learn how they work. It was a chore but I didn't mind having a little quietness in my head.

Today I woke up in the afternoon. For some reason, Thomlin hadn’t woke me up. A parchment of paper sat on my bunk bed. It had a Gold was seal,  my name written on it.

I stared at it for a good minute, before opening it.

It was an invitation:

You are cordially invited to the Banquet in honor of Keiji Tanaka, Flame-Bearer of Sanctum Frollo. You may bring one guest of your choosing.

Thomlin ducked into the room a moment later, smelling of dust and smoke.

“Ready for an afternoon jog?” he asked. 

Then he saw the parchment and plucked it from my hand.

“Gold Ring invitation,” he said, raising a brow. “Your friends must be important to pull this off.”

“I guess.”

“You guess?” He tossed the invitation back onto the bed. “You’re not going?”

I shrugged. “Might not.”

The sound came before the pain — a hard, sharp KWWICHTUMPH — and suddenly I was on the floor, my right cheek burning.

Then in a second he was on top of me.

“Turn over your left cheek,” he said coldly.

“Why?”

“Isn’t that what you do now? Act like nothing matters? Turn over and I'll keep pummeling you until I’m satisfied.”

“Get off me!” I shoved him back, breath ragged.

His lips curled into a smirk. “Ah. There it is.” He rolled his shoulders, dropping into a loose stance.

“You want to spar, we can go right now.”

I stayed on the ground for a moment, my pulse hammering in my ears, my cheek burning where he’d struck me.  

I wasn't going to engage but I wanted to hit something. Hard.

I stood up and stared at him.

“Fine,” I said, fists clenching. “Let’s spar.”

“This is going to be fun.” Thomlin’s grin and eyes were wide.

Before I could move, he snapped a kick toward my ribs. I twisted away just in time, the heel of his boot grazing instead of hitting. I exhaled and got into a stance.

“Oh, that was weak,” he said, circling. “At least try to use some of the blocking techniques I showed you.”

This wasn’t a lesson, he was mocking me. Fine, let him underestimate me.

I charged him, fist swinging, but he slid aside, jumping on his toes. I came at him again with double punches combo then a knee to his chest. The bastard blocked it, his palm slapped my wrist and shoved me so hard my shoulder clipped the wall.

“You're getting warmer. Come on!”

He lunged first this time, driving his elbow into my chest, knocking the wind out of me. I staggered, gasping but before I could draw air, he swept my leg and I hit the ground.

“Faster!” Thomlin barked.

My body reacted immediately. I lifted my legs up and used my shoulders as leverage and kipped back onto my feet.

“Better,” he said, waving at me. “Have you snapped out of it?”

“The only snapping,” I growled, “is going to be your bones.”

He laughed loudly. “There’s the Ash I know! Come on, I’m waiting…”

I swung a high kick towards his head, it came crashing into his guarding arm. I used the momentum and swung my other leg hitting him on the back of his head. A solid contact. Then two more kicks that he swatted.

We moved in a blur, his jabs too quick, mine too raw. Sweat stung my eyes, my lungs going into overdrive but I didn’t stop. Every strike I threw seemed to land short or slide off his guard. Every strike he landed shook me.

Finally, he feinted low. My guard dipped and his palm rammed my chest with brutal precision. I hit the floor, my back cracking against the bunk bed. I dragged my self on top of the bunk and sat down, my arms rattling.

Thomlin stood over me, his voice softening.

“I know you received some bad news recently. But that’s no excuse to let grief make you soft. You think Dorran would want you feeling sorry for yourself? He’s the one that’s dead, what’s your excuse? Don’t you want his sacrifice to mean something?”

“Just...shut up!” I snarled, dragging myself upright, throwing another punch

He blocked with ease, hit my throat and shoved me so hard I hit the wall. I fell down, my feet horizontal, they reached the end of the bed. My throat tightened. My knuckles throbbed and my chest still burned from his palm strike.

Thomlin sat down moving his back to the wall next to me. I didn’t look at him.

“Are you gonna start crying?” he asked.

“No.”

“It’s okay if you do. Sometimes,” he said, voice level now, “we just need to let the waves overflow. That’s how you get across the bridge. If you dam it all up, you can’t move forward….you just drown behind the wall.”

There he goes with the bridges again. What is he even saying?

To be honest, I did feel like crying. But either my tears were stubborn or they had run out from last night. As a gravedigger, I had long ago taught myself to push every feeling deep down, tying it with a rock. Death was business, after all. I couldn’t afford unnecessary emotions.

But Dorran’s death had cut that rope clean. Everything suddenly came flooding back.

Thomlin was right, though as blunt as it was. I still had work to do. The Mourner’s pack was back. No more excuses. Besides I had Keiji and the others so I wasn’t alone.

“Fine,” I muttered. “I’ll go.”

When I finally looked at him, Thomlin wasn’t smirking. His smile was bright and genuine.

“Great. And I’ll be your plus one.”

He threw his arm around my shoulder, laughing like a lunatic.

I almost laughed with him.

The game, the summonings and the Church. Everything was leading me towards the Gold Ring and hopefully I might finally get some answers.