Ugly Smile.

The last traces of daylight faded beneath the darkening sky. The chill winter breeze blew over the half-lit Nagoya streets, it's wind seeping through the cracks of the walls at the police station,

the same walls confining a lifeless corpse, that sat motionless as it stiffened on a random jail cell bed.

that's me, or whatever's left at least.

its funny isn't it , a projector rejecting the light he emits , the disconnect I felt glancing at the mirror where truth was laid bare, ugly, and pure.

it hasn't been clear , not at all , confusion is all I ever knew , even sitting here in this dark cell ,where I wanted to think , the sense I was making was the calm after the storm, but storms don’t end quietly .

storms scream until they die.

speaking in 3rd person helped me disconnect, but even that doesn't work anymore .

dear diaries , please accept my light , this is my last reflection. Ten days behind me, one truth ahead.

10 days earlier

the morning sun woke me up before my scheduled alarm ,I had forgotten the blinds open. not all mistakes are fatal, I told myself, that alone gave me enough confidence to leave my suffocating apartment and head towards the once peaceful garden .

it was exactly 11 minutes past 10 am , I noticed a worm wiggling itself out the wet soil , as I sat comfortably on the metal chair I had wiped with my trusty tissues. Not everyone had gotten the privilege of a calm night, I pondered .

A pathetic little escape artist.

I often got jealous of worms, I thought they get to skip all the annoying paperwork since they don't have hands.

but today was different, I held slight pride in the papers sitting in the hand bag right next to me, papers I barely skimmed through the night before.

not that my pride ever meant something.

At the corner of my vision, I caught a figure moving toward me. The rhythm of his steps was slow, steady, heavier with each one. For a moment, I thought I saw chains dragging behind him but when I turned my head, there was nothing there. Just a man walking.

the cult had got my soul bound on heavy metal chains, blocking away any semblance of responsibility.

that's how I felt.

or maybe it was noya's soul they got, noya, my client. oh yeah, my client, he arrived.

knowing him, I didn't even stand to greet him, he was gonna sit next to me anyways, like he did yesterday.

And sitting he did.

"morning , why so late"

"good morning" he replied, ignoring my question.

This time, he led the conversation. he spoke of his fears, his debts, his ruined nights. When I asked questions, he answered only the ones he felt like answering.

Honestly

Nothing's special about noya.

He's just one of many clients I had and I'm going to have in this unforgiving job,

Another unlucky body I would be forced to represent. Another sacrifice the cult demanded.

For some reason, that boring day was the one I remember the clearest.

9 days earlier

My wife smiled at me in the hospital, belly full with our child. She asked if work was hard. I told her no.

At BKStar, they clapped my shoulder. “Another case soon,” they said. A blessing, I thought.

BKStar was the name of the company I worked for, I was hired on contract and often had to visit to report my results, but they had connections with the government. they knew my results before I did.

That night I dreamed of my child’s cry. A soundless, endless scream.

it wasn't the pleasant kind .

8 days earlier

The second client begged me to fight harder. His hands trembled on the table, sweat dripping onto the documents I was supposed to protect.

In court, the judge didn’t even glance at me. He had already decided before I opened my mouth.

I told myself I did my best. Told myself the system was rigged, that no lawyer could have saved him.

He died the same day.

That night, I dreamed of his body swinging above my bed. His swollen face whispering down at me

“its not too late to quit.” His provoking words felt kind.

But my ego had a different opinion.

7 days earlier

The third case collapsed before I even set foot in the courthouse. I laughed when the verdict hit, almost joyful, don’t know why.

Maybe because nothing made sense anymore.

On the train ride home, I swore I saw my client three rows ahead. Her head tilted back, eyes half open, throat purple with dark red choke marks.

I'm surprised I remember the details .

The seat was empty when I blinked. Only the faint smell of iron remained.

The next morning the news confirmed it:

she was gone.

6 days earlier

The fourth client tried to hold himself together, His voice was steady when he thanked me for: “at least trying.”

But by dusk, the anchors on TV were whispering my incompetence back at me: “A wave of suicides linked to financial ruin.” They didn’t say my name, but I heard it anyway.

That night, when the apartment was still, the chanting began.

Cultist. Contract. Coward.

Over and over, a chorus of the damned.

I woke drenched in sweat, chest pounding to a similar chorus, I reached down to wipe my sheets, and for a moment, in the darkness, I was certain it wasn’t sweat at all.

I smelled blood.

5 days earlier

The fifth client’s eyes stayed on me, even as she signed the papers that doomed her.

I swore the judge smirked at me when I lost.

That night, I dreamed of holding my baby. The flesh slipped between my fingers.

no.

its face wasn't that of a baby. the baby had my old brother's face .

I wasn't sure how to feel about that.

4 days earlier

I bought syringes at a pharmacy across town where no one knew my face. Hid them in my shoes. Called it “insurance.”

BKStar invited me to lunch. they smiled across the table, white prefect teeth.

Too perfect.

“You’re doing excellent work, Maru” he said, patting my shoulder like a priest giving last rites.

I nodded, I've grown too good at nodding. Maybe I'm not talentless after all .

3 days earlier

The sixth begged me. Begged like a child begging God. Her voice cracked, her tears wetting the floor of my office. “Fight for me,” she said. “Please.”

I opened my mouth to promise her something: “Of course! I love fighting!”

When she died, I didn’t cry. I didn’t even flinch. I just stared at the mirror that night, searching for my face.

The man staring back wasn’t me. His mouth curved in a grin I didn’t feel.

2 days earlier

My brother. Of all people, my own brother.

He caught me in the courthouse hallway, spat in my face, and hissed: “You’ve sold us. You’ve sold us to devils.” His words cut deeper than any judge’s sentence.

That night, he cut his wrists. They said it was despair. I knew it was the cult. marking me. breaching into my family.

I realized then I wasn’t defending clients. I was burying them. it was enough to destroy me. But They wanted everything around me ruined too.

I had enough .

1 day left

The funeral was nothing but rain and mud. Black umbrellas storming the place like UFO,s .

From the church steps I called my boss.

the words “I quit .” left my mouth,
words that could have saved countless lives. my voice had never been calmer, The line went dead. And my vision went awfully clear for how rainy it was.

I was a fresh new person, I ran to my wife like a baby .When I reached the hospital, she was screaming my name down the hallway. again I ran to her, shoes soaked, lungs burning.

But when I finally reached the crib, my child was gone.. In its place was a mound of blood and bone, twitching as if it had just remembered what being alive feels like.

I screamed until the nurses dragged me away. My wife’s eyes told me the truth: there had never been anything in that crib but silence.

...

 my brother held a triple barrel shotgun and without words or hesitation shot me in the face. in fact, it was all of them, every single one of my victims took turns blowing my cranium to smithereens, of course I kept regenerating. its more fun that way.
it was just another nightmare though.

 Or was it?

sulking alone in my car, my radio decided to console me: 

[pszzssstttzzzssssst..]

Nagoya Prefectural Police Headquarters

Public Notice – Ongoing Investigation

The Nagoya Police are currently investigating a series of suspicious deaths initially classified as suicides. Upon review, circumstances suggest possible foul play.

The deceased have been identified as:

Kawashima Haruto

Okabe Yumi

Fujimoto Rikuya

Hoshino Aika

Tanaka Kenta

Morikawa Sayuri

Arai Noyami

Each incident exhibits troubling similarities, notably that the victims shared a series of financial difficulties. This pattern has raised concerns of targeted selection.

The investigation is active and ongoing. Anyone with relevant information, unusual observations, or personal connections to the victims is strongly urged to contact the Nagoya Prefectural Police immediately.

[..pchssst]

“yep, its them, my clients.” ”of course..” 

”wait, is this? … This is MY chance!”

”wait I know how, I know who did ALL of it!”

”THE CULT!”

as the same old symphony played in my head :
Cultist. Contract. Coward.

moving my legs running to its rhythm,
  Cultist. Contract. Coward 

I grabbed papers, evidence, tools, everything I could make up with my long years of experience as a poisonous lawyer . Before I knew it, I found myself at the doorstep of the police station .

steps grew louder and louder.

and then it happened:

“I have a crime to report”
”can I have your name sir..?”
”Rakudai Maru, a lawyer at your service”

the policeman grabbed the papers, and upon skimming through the first few pages, he called for backup, before detaining me and throwing me into a jail cell .

what? why? how?

“why am I the one in a cell, this is the cults doing, throw those animals into the pig pen they belong to, why am I here? what the hell is wrong with this world .” I said.

And then I finally stopped pretending.

 I, rakudai maru due to my incompetence had been presented a contract by a famous company called BKStar, part of their scheme is to screw over 1% of their clients of all their ownings, that's where I come through,

when those victims who are now broke decide to sue the company and ask for a government representative, due to the company's connections inside the government, they get me assigned as their lawyer, and my only job is to do the what I know best

Fail .

I might be a failure but I'm not stupid, I somewhat expected this, that's why I guaranteed an “insurance” on advance .

With a swift action I pull the poisonous needle from within my shoe .

And smoothly it pierces the vein in my forearm. this is it .

but before I go I have one more confession to make

I lied when I said day ten was the one I remembered the clearest …

11 days earlier

Dang it, I’m late and I got a meeting tomorrow morning. Maru’s footsteps accelerated as he walked down the station stairs, hurrying to catch up to the next train. The place was unexpectedly empty, at least emptier than what he had anticipated. The atmosphere was eerie, as if he had stepped into a new world. The display boards showed 2 minutes left for the next train. As each light flickered on the board, number after number, second after second, a droplet of sweat trickled down Maru’s arm. 

I guess I’ll call the client while I’m waiting. He grabbed his phone, sweat interfering with his swipes as he looked for the client’s number. Found it. With slight hesitation, he clicked the dial button. Rings could be heard.  However, it wasn’t from Maru’s phone.

 He instinctively turned to the source of the noise, just to find himself making eye contact with a young-looking man. He had black, messy hair that reached his dark green cotton shirt; his tan baggy pants covered his dirty boots. A tired gaze sat on his face, topped by rectangular glasses that awfully hid his eye bags, his fingers were full of bite marks. Is this my client?

 Maru approached the young man. “Excuse me, sir, are you Noyami Arai?” Maru asked. “You can call me Noya, Maru-san,” replied the young man in a non-foreign voice. The two of them had spoken a couple of times before, just on the phone though. He looks different than I expected. 

 “How about we finish our conversation on the train?” Noya requested, dragging himself towards the cart.

 A few uneventful minutes passed; Maru attempted to resume his talk. “So, tomorrow at 5 PM, we got the court meeting. At 10 AM I’ll send you the location to a calm nearby garden to discuss it and polish our papers. Everything good?” Maru asked. … Is he even listening? “Hey?” Maru exclaimed as he nudged the unresponsive Noya.

 “Maru-san, do you think any of this matters?”

 What? “The meeting or…?”

 “All of it, the whole thing.” Noya sighed. “You think worms like us can win against corporate giants? Do you think justice exists in a world run by money?”
 What is he trying to say… “My job as a lawyer is to ensure justice, so I’d hope it exists,” Maru added, “We need to believe that we will win, and that will be our truth.”

 “The truth is that I simply got scammed.” Noya bit his finger. “I’ve made the mistake of believing I could succeed. Suing the company is literally my last act of hope, but now that I’ve thought about it, it’s pretty much useless,” he spoke in anger, his head bowed, his eyes looking down, his glasses falling to the ground.

 Provoked by Noya, Maru yelled. “I’m here to defend you! It’s my job, and I’m not giving up till I do so,” he declared, before softening his tone as he announced, “So don’t you give up as well.”

 Noya stood up, his expression changed. And as he was about to walk out the train, he saluted, looking back at Maru. The words “See you tomorrow” left his mouth … 

It was the next day. Maru was back home after his first tiring day at work. He headed to the bathroom. washed his face with cold water. before looking at the mirror with an ugly smile: 

 " Yeah, we lost the case. "