[36 — I'm Not Afraid]

When I opened my eyes, there was only darkness.

My whole body was drenched in sweat, and the cold night wind struck hard against my face.

At least… there was no more pain. The chill was a bit uncomfortable, but I was glad to feel it. It meant I was alive. And that was what mattered.

"Ah…" I took a deep breath. My senses were slowly coming back.

When I looked up at the sky, I saw gray clouds covering the moon. Every now and then, a few stars slipped through, shining brightly.

What was I even doing lying here—

"Sera!" The memory hit me all at once, and I shot up.

How long had I been asleep?

I couldn't waste time here. I had to find her.

"Ruru…"

I heard Sera's voice, faint.

She was actually right next to me. I could hardly believe it.

"Se—"

I tried to call out to her, but the words died in my throat.

Sera was filthy, covered in dirt, her hair a complete mess. Not a single part of her clothes was intact. Her eyes were swollen.

"..."

I wanted to hug her. But… maybe I didn't have that right.

…What was I even supposed to say to her?

"Sera. I… I'm just glad you're still here."

I sat down by her side.

At that hour, the square was completely empty.

"Were you looking after me while I was out?"

"..."

"Haha, I know. I ran after you and collapsed on the way. Pretty stupid, huh?"

"..."

She didn't even react.

"Sera… I'm sorry I lied to you. I know I shouldn't have. I thought if I told you the truth, you'd run away… I just… I was scared. Scared of leaving you alone. I didn't want you to go."

It was hard to start talking, but once I opened my mouth, the words just spilled out without me thinking too much about them.

"I know I shouldn't have kept things from you… But please, believe me, Sera. Neither I nor Destroyer-sama ever meant you any harm, I swear!"

She looked straight into my eyes. The color of her irises was beautiful. I could see my own reflection in them.

"Sera—"

"Why did you take care of me?"

Her voice came out hoarse.

It sent a chill down my spine. What could I even say to that?

I'm no saint. I had no reason to do this for someone I barely knew. So then why…

Why did I take care of Sera?

It wasn't just charity.

It wasn't altruism.

It wasn't anything that noble…

"I…"

Her question froze me. Not because I didn't know the answer, but because I didn't want to say it.

"..."

Her eyes locked onto mine. My reflection was still there, but it wasn't just an image anymore. Everything I projected onto her was starting to surface. My expression gave away everything I wanted to hide.

That was my…

Selfishness.

That was the answer to her question. But I couldn't say that to her.

So I looked away.

"I don't understand, Ruru… I know I should've run, but I don't understand!!!"

Her sudden scream startled me.

"Why?"

"Why did you take care of me?"

"Why did you free me?"

"Why did you play with me?"

"Feed me?"

"Treat me… like I was human?"

"You already knew I was a witch."

"Then… why?!—"

I wrapped my arms around her.

I pressed her tight against my chest and felt her tears soaking into my clothes.

"L-let me go! You're inquisitors! You've got no right to hug me! Let me go!"

She screamed in my arms, but her attempts to push me off were weak. Not nearly enough to escape me.

I stroked her back.

"Sera… I think you've got it wrong. We're not inquisitors."

The moment I said it, her hands froze.

"W-what?"

"I'm telling you. We're not inquisitors."

"Then… then… No! That's impossible. I saw it with my own two eyes. That mark on his arm—"

I pushed her back a little and held her hands.

"I'm sorry I hid that from you, Sera. I know you saw Destroyer-sama's mark of authority, but he really isn't an inquisitor. We're not with the church."

She was shaken. I knew it was a lot for her to process.

"No… don't lie to me, Ruru! I've seen an inquisitor before. Those marks were exactly the same! I'm sure of it!"

I could hear the pain in her voice. She… she had already been through so much.

"I know the pontiff grants the marks of authority. But not everyone who has one is an inquisitor, Sera." I wiped her tears with my shirt.

"Don't touch me! You won't fool me! Anyone above sixth authority is—"

She stopped.

Her eyes shook.

"Wait, Ruru, are you… are you saying he's…"

I sighed.

"I think you've figured it out."

"I-i-impossible! I mean, Destroyer doesn't look anything like someone from the royal family."

I held back a laugh. I knew I wasn't the only one who thought that.

"B-but that still doesn't explain anything. Why would you come all the way from the capital to here? Even if he's not an inquisitor, royalty's just as bad. Why set me free?"

Now that I'd taken part of the weight of the lie off my chest, my body felt lighter. I might regret this later, but right now, I felt like I had to tell her. Or better yet, show her.

I looked around to make sure no one was watching. I'd already checked that it was empty, but a little caution wouldn't hurt.

I stepped a little back from Sera so I wouldn't hurt her.

"W-what are you doing?!"

I brought my hands together in front of me.

Drew an imaginary point between them and took a deep breath. My heart was already racing.

"Fuu…" I let the air out. "Alright…"

The feeling came quickly. Even if I didn't do it often, the images were fresh in my memory. I wasn't as familiar with this as with a sword, but slowly, it was becoming a part of me.

I pictured strong winds shaking the forest trees. Dark clouds filling the sky and covering every constellation. Within seconds, the friction in my palms heated my whole body.

"R-Ruru… what is this?!"

Not yet, Sera.

Maybe the fact it was night helped me. I don't know. All I knew was that this was even easier than I remembered.

I smelled something metallic rise to my nose. It was almost like I could hear thunder booming in my ears. If I closed my eyes, I'd swear I was in the middle of a storm.

Then, all at once, I pulled my hands apart.

Bzzz! Bzzz! Bzzzzzzz!

A burning thread of energy arced between my palms. Its branches looked like tree limbs, and it was blazing hot.

The corner of my mouth lifted instinctively.

No matter how many times I saw that glow, it always impressed me.

Bzzbzzbzzbzz!

"See, Sera? You don't—"

"STOP IT, RURU!!!"

"S-Sera?"

"YOU CAN'T SHOW THAT TO ANYONE! IF THEY CATCH YOU, WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU?!"

My concentration broke and the energy fizzled out.

Sera started sobbing.

"If they catch you… they'll execute you… that's a curse… how can you show that in public?"

I brushed her hair with my hand.

"..."

"I used to think the same, Sera. I was terrified of it too, but… someone told me something different. And now I'm not afraid anymore."

I didn't know why, but every time I remembered those words, I felt strange. I'd just let go of the magic, but my body was heating up again.

"And what did he say?"

"Uh? Ah! H-he said I didn't need to be afraid. That this isn't a curse. That it's actually a gift!"

A new light filled her eyes.

"A g-gift? Then… then why—"

"Humans fear the unknown, Sera." I looked up at the sky. "No matter the age, we tend to destroy what we can't understand. That's our species' curse. And it's something that'll never change."

I think that's how he said it… right?

"Ruru… the one who told you that. It was Destroyer, wasn't it?"

"A-ah? W-what are you talking about, Sera? W-why would you think that?"

Ah, how embarrassing! How did she figure it out?

"Ugh. You really don't have a 'pookaa feisu,' Ruru."

"I don't have a what?"

"Hihi."

I couldn't help but smile with her. Seeing her smile made me feel so much better.

"Haha." I leaned back on my hands.

Then it hit me: the relief of having found Sera was so strong I wasn't even in pain anymore. My wrist wasn't bothering me at all. It was like it had never been hurt.

"Your wrist must be better now, Ruru." Sera tugged at my arm. "How did you even hurt it that bad?"

"…!"

What did she just say?

When I looked down at my wrist, I couldn't believe it.

"Sera… m-my wrist…?"

It wasn't just in my head.

This...

It was completely healed.