21 - Advent Rising (2)

Alex's voice fades in, as the IWC(TN) clubroom re-materializes around Advent and me. "… and if you must know, actually, 'White Room Syndrome' is not necessarily a failing of the author, but rather a lack of imagination of the reader." He's doing the 'um, ack-shually' pose, his index finger raised in the air. Yes, he's in a suit of armor. "The true reader does not, when faced with a lack of explicit details, fail to conjure up any number of rich environments for the conversation to take place in. Rather, the true reader is free to imagine whatever they want—and in this sense, sparse description is actually quite liberating for the reader; such a thing is uniquely possible in a medium such as literature. Ergo, the onus is not always on the author to provide details; rather, the reader must meet the author halfway."

Valerie rolls her eyes, under her hockey guard helmet. "People don't want to do that, Alex. That's why my drawings will always get more views."

Alex opens up the visor of his knight's helmet. "That's fine. But your drawings will never touch the heart of the human condition. It cannot explore humanity as my books do."

Valerie shrugs. "I think you need one (1) reader for your book (singular) to do that. You also need to finish it, not just leave it as a prologue."

Alex draws a sword. "That's enough out of you. En garde!"

Valerie pulls out one of her stinky fetish socks, arms herself with it. "Come at me, nerd!"

Moeka: "Look, Sunny-nii! Valerie and Alex are fighting!"

Sunny: "Oohh, that's the third time today … Do your best, both of you!"

Advent laughs, watching the chaos. "You guys have so much fun, every day."

"Yeah," I say. "… We do, don't we?"

Advent jumps, as if realizing something. "Oh! Oh, shoot! I have to get going! I still need to go measure the hallways of the L.I.M.B.O. building, and then I have to go count all the leaves on every single plant in Point Parallax!!! And then I have to tabulate the results for the club in iambic pentameter!"

"Yes, yes—incredibly important work, Advent-chan … Oh, and I want those reports in triplicate. And make sure to attach the proper report covers this time. Also, footnotes."

"Triple," she repeats. "… Report covers. … Footnotes. Got it, boss! You can count on me!"

I smile at Advent as she makes like a tree, calling after her, "Take your time, Advent-chan …"

Alex side-eyes me, parrying a sock slap from Valerie. "… Dude, is it really okay for us to give her such meaningless, time-consuming tasks?"

"Would you rather have her try and do paperwork here? I'm tired of seeing the equivalent of air turning into gold every day, man. Dr M*nhatt*n can switch places with me, if he wants. Besides—Advent seems to enjoy busywork."

"Even when her tasks have no tangible benefit, or logical reasoning behind them? She's just doing work for the sake of work, accomplishing nothing?"

"Heh," I chuckle, winking at him, "… That's just what they call nuanced social commentary about the pointless nature of modern office work. Clever, right?"

"No. Not really, no."

Valerie swings her sock at Alex. "You know, Odd-kun," she says, one eyebrow raised. "You talk to Advent differently than you do the rest of us."

"What? No, I don't. What do you mean?"

"You're mean to the rest of us, all the time!"

"What!? I don't do anything of the sort," I say, outraged, angrily sharpening the axe-blade of an obsidian halberd on the club room grindstone.

"Yes, you do! You're doing it right now! You literally just materialized a weapon for the sake of a gag."

"Name a single time I've been mean to any of you."

"You call me stinky all the time!"

Alex: "(You are stinky.) … But Valerie's otherwise right, Odd-kun. I mean, when you talk to Advent, you don't explode in anger, you don't pretend you're some kind of walking punchline, you don't break the fourth wall, you don't treat every interaction like an opportunity to act boke or tsukkomi, as you see fit."

"I-I mean, that's just—"

Valerie smiles knowingly. "Ooh, I think I know what's going on." Then, doing an imitation of me, she mocks my last words to Advent: "'Take your time, Advent-chan' …"

Alex seems to pick up what Valerie's putting down. He lowers his sword, his attention having shifted. "Somebody's got a cruu-ush," he sings.

My face is burning red. "No, you got it wrong! Ain't no way. Ain't no fuckin' way—"

Moeka giggles. "Eh?? Odd-kun likes Advent-nee? In that way? Are they going to get married?"

Sunny crosses his arms, nods. "I remember when I used to have schoolboy crushes, too …"

Me: "(How old are you, Sunny? I swear, you're like a human question mark …)"

Valerie: "I guess we shouldn't be too surprised. Advent's exactly his type, after all."

Alex: "What, foxes?"

Valerie, laughing: "No—a fictional character! … Just like all his past relationships so far."

Me: "Um, no? I actually have a lot of experience? I'll have you know, I've purchased my fair share of Tier 3 subs, back in the day."

Alex: "Parasociality, am I right?" He offers his fist.

Me, reciprocating his fist bump: "(Thanks for using the correct form, dawg.)"

Alex: "(I got you, babe.)"

Me: "(What'd you call me?) … Anyway, I don't have a crush on Advent! She's just … another club member."

"Uh huh," says Valerie. "If you say so."

Anyway, the rest of the afternoon, the club members sing all about how Advent and I are sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-etc-etc you know the rest, I don't have to spell it out, and just like that, another carefree day goes by at the Isekai Waiting Club (Temporary Name).