Jacky Pan's School of Kung-Fu

“Cease this at once.”

I turned slowly, horrified.

“…Milord?” I dared ask.

Lord Calilah… was taking action?

Alexandria scoffed. “Why should I care what someone I don’t even know thinks?”

“Because…” Calilah pulled back his cloak.

Beneath it shimmered the unmistakable garb of royalty. On his breast gleamed a sigil of noble rank.

“You now address Lord Calilah of the Fle’nam people, of the Sunlight Alliance,” he said. “Son of Dtuchess Alimildah and Duke Volkoz, ninth of his name. I ask that you calm yourself immediately.”

Silence.

Then, something none of us expected happened. Alexandria dropped to her knees..

She pressed her hands to the floor.

“Forgive me, Milord Most Holy!”

Even Calilah looked stunned. “That’s… all right?”

“Your family,” Alex choked, “they saved me. During the culling by the Crystal Elves—they hid me amongst your rank. When they rounded up the other dusk-humans… my family… they… they…”

Alex couldn’t finish. She broke.

“I never even got to thank them.” Her hands balled into fists against he floor. “I thought I’d forgotten. But I didn’t. I couldn’t.”

Tears streamed down her face as she shook.

How long ago had that war been? A decade, maybe? Not long enough for wounds to close.

“I—I am sorry, Cotter,” Alex choked out. “You didn’t deserve all the shit I threw at you.”

What do you even say to that? “No need,” I replied quietly.

Piper was the first to move for a hug. “There, there…”

Uriel scoffed. “Touching. Truly. But are we quite finished? This is still a live mission. Save the tearful memoirs for later. If we don’t get what we came for, this orphanage is finished.”

I looked in shock at her pragmatism. But I couldn’t argue about the logic. “Y—yes, of course.”

\\

That we were under a time limit would be putting things lightly.

It was nearly pitch dark now, and if the Lord was to be believed, the duke was about to hold an “emergency audience.” Which made sense—after all, multiple of his guards had been hurt.

And not just any guards. Noble guards, guarding noble secrets. The duke, for the sake of appearance, legacy, and whatever other nonsense kings cared about, couldn’t just let that slide.

Especially not when his son had something to do with it.

Which explains how fast we were running. I was fitting my mask on while I was at it!

Alexandria had stayed back to cover our tracks: clear the room, misdirect any wandering eyes, clean up any evidence. I believed her when she said she was good at that. But that left us exposed.

So when we hit the edge of the town square, only to be cut off by armed men?

Yeah. Not ideal.

“HALT!”

A row of armed men stepped out and blocked our path.

I recognized the one in front immediately.

Same voice. That same bloody smirk.

It was them: the same guards from this afternoon who trashed our shopfront.

“You are interfering with the Crown’s business,” I heard Calilah say. “Leave now or face the consequences of rebelling against your Lord.”

“You think us so naive as to not believe your father will execute us the moment he figures out what we’ve done? It’s a bit too late for that, milord. Buuuut, if we knock you out now,” one of them sneered, “then it’s our word against yours. And who’s gonna defend a bunch of beastkin and an elf? They will be slaughtered before you wake up, and we will be out of East Gate in no time at all.”

I saw the other guards around him smirk at that. Just how depraved are the average person’s morals here?

“For we are Guild of Thieves thieves-to-be… and we only need to overcome one more obstacle for us to be solidified into our ranks!”

The Guild of Thieves?! What kind of name is that?!

The guard raised his blade. “You’re finished.”

He wasn’t wrong. 

These thieves were armed and armored. Meanwhile, we were wearing frilly dresses.

But I was a Crystal Elf. And apparently, my people used to rule this place. That had to count for something, right?

I looked around to search for anything I could use. If you believe it to be, it will manifest in your actions!

We were right in the middle of East Gate’s most infamous square. I remembered Mistress Laura showing me this place. Showing me the truth of my people.

And just like that day… I felt a tug. Something calling to me. 

I looked toward the Crystal Elf statue. Of course. It must have been some sort of magical ancestral calling.

If I could just focus a loci… I could reach it fully. But I needed time. Precious seconds when I couldn’t use my magic.

I didn’t get them.

The knight lunged, sword drawn, eyes locked on me.

Reflex took over.

Thank the gods for all that drilling with Piper. I ducked the blade, twisting my body just enough to avoid the worst of the swing. And just like we practiced with Uriel and Piper…

I launched a COUNTERATTACK!

I swung my elbow up and drove it into the back of his knee.

Unfortunately, he didn’t fall down.

I was still small to do much damage—much too small to do much more than knock him off balance. 

He was a fully grown adult, trained in warfare. I was a lowly orphan.

So when his metal-clad fist smashed into my face?

“OOF—!”

I went flying.

“COTTER!!!!” I heard Piper scream.

I crashed into the dirt and rolled.

It hurt like shit. But I got up soon enough—just in time to catch a glimpse of his smug face.

Even in the dark, I recognised the perpetrator.

Collins.

The same man who took joy in slashing a child.

Of course it was him.

“C’mere, you little shit!” he roared. "I need some revenge!"

I had to buy time. I had to feel that power from before, in the statue, in me.

And the best way to do that?

~SALARYMAN TECHNIQUE ACTIVATED: TACTICAL RETREAT!~

I ran like hell toward the statue. 

Jacky Pan's top rules of engagement: always use the objects in your surroundings!

"STOP RUNNING!!"

He swung his sword—whoosh!—but I was already weaving around the statue’s legs, ducking under his blade, hopping between marble folds.

CLANG! His sword bounced off the statue’s thigh. CLANG! Off its arm. Sparks flew. Chips of old stone rained down like confetti.

I yelped and nearly slipped, catching myself on the statue’s elbow. “Can’t hit what you can’t catch!” I chirped, purely on adrenaline.

He got pissed.

“Fine then!”

Collins ditched the sword with a growl—clatter!—and lunged at me bare-fisted. Bold move. Stupid, too.

He swung. I ducked. He punched the statue’s ribs and howled in pain.

“AAARGH—!”

He followed, climbing after me now, face red..

I kicked off a loose chunk of stone and beaned him right in the forehead.

Collins held his head like it was about to fall off. But it didn’t deter him for long. My legs were not registered how fast he leapt for me again.

So this time I ducked—and he headbutted the statue’s chest.

“GRAAAH—!”

As he was reeling, he spat spit on the ground.

“Oh, that’s it!!”

And then—somehow—he managed to punch me square in the toes.

My whole body recoiled like a slingshot. I shot up the rest of the statue in blind pain, hopping on one foot, swearing under my breath.

Luckily for me, that meant he could no longer reach me.

“Coward!” he barked from below.

Then, much to my dismay, he found the capacity to smirk.

“Though… I suppose that leaves the lord wide open.”

My heart dropped. “No!”

“Cotter?” Piper cried. “We need help! There’s too many of—AAAH!”

I watched helplessly as I saw their blades dig into your scales! It didn’t pierce skin, but how would you feel about something that sharp digging into your nerves?!

The whole battle was falling apart! Uriel was holding her own, but barely. Calilah had skill, but his formal dress was already shredded on top of being outnumbered.

I had to do something! I could try slinging magic from up here, but… I wasn’t at all precise enough to do that yet. I was just some salaryman cosplaying as an elf!

Activate me.

What the…? Every hair on my neck stood on end.

That voice wasn’t mine, yet it echoed in my mind all the same.